Extra 3

Ji Jinxuan had been staying at Pu Sha’s house for a few days when Xu Lin remembered something.

“Did you bring your medication?” he asked.

He meant the pheromones he’d left for Ji Jinxuan enough to last a year. Ji Jinxuan’s current condition required daily doses of Xu Lin’s pheromones. But Xu Lin hadn’t seen him use them once these past few days.

Was he forcing himself through it again? Or…

“Have you run out?” Xu Lin asked.

Ji Jinxuan shook his head. “There’s still some left.” He paused. “One dose.”

Worried that Ji Jinxuan might fall back into his old habit of hoarding them, Xu Lin wanted to watch him take it. He followed Ji Jinxuan to the apartment he’d bought. Ji Jinxuan pulled a syringe from under his pillow.

Under Xu Lin’s watchful eye, he injected it into his arm.

Xu Lin studied his face. “Are you okay?”

Ji Jinxuan nodded.

The empty syringe went into the trash. Xu Lin’s gaze lingered on Ji Jinxuan’s arm, covered in purple needle marks. Noticing Xu Lin’s attention, Ji Jinxuan pulled his sleeve down to hide the marks. “It’s fine,” he said. “It doesn’t hurt.”

The apartment was small but had everything they needed. Pu Sha and Ji Hongyun had gone out, so they’d have to make dinner themselves.

After watching Ji Jinxuan finish the injection, Xu Lin stayed a while and was about to head back when Ji Jinxuan said, “Stay for dinner.”

Since it was just the two of them, it didn’t matter where they ate. They bought some groceries, and Xu Lin stayed at the apartment.

In the kitchen, Ji Jinxuan worked with his back to Xu Lin. He wouldn’t let him help, insisting on doing everything himself. Xu Lin watched his movements. For someone who’d never had to lift a finger, he was surprisingly skilled at cooking.

Xu Lin remembered the photos of meals Ji Jinxuan had sent him in those unsent messages. They’d all been made by Ji Jinxuan himself.

An hour later, Ji Jinxuan had prepared two dishes and a soup. They looked presentable enough. Xu Lin took a bite of the braised eggplant, chewing slowly before swallowing.

Ji Jinxuan watched nervously the whole time. After Xu Lin had taken a proper bite, he asked anxiously, “How is it?”

Xu Lin licked his lips and nodded with a smile. “Delicious.”

Ji Jinxuan smiled back, relieved. “That’s good.”

Xu Lin said it was good, so Ji Jinxuan kept piling food into his bowl until it was overflowing. Xu Lin didn’t refuse, taking bite after bite.

“Why did you start cooking?” Xu Lin asked.

“I always wanted you to taste it.”

“You learned?”

“Yes.”

Even without a sense of taste, he’d mastered these home-style dishes. He must have practiced countless times. It was no small feat.

Xu Lin finished everything. Near the end, maybe because he was genuinely hungry, he ate a little too quickly and accidentally bit his tongue.

He hissed.

“What’s wrong?” Ji Jinxuan asked immediately.

“I bit my tongue. It’s nothing.”

After they finished, Ji Jinxuan cleared the table and washed the dishes. It was past nine.

The apartment had a bed—one and a half meters wide, bigger than Xu Lin’s room. Ji Jinxuan had been sleeping on the floor in Xu Lin’s cramped space, curled up and uncomfortable, though he never complained. Now that they’d eaten here, there was no need to go all the way back.

As Ji Jinxuan moved to put on his shoes, Xu Lin stopped him. “Stay here tonight.”

Ji Jinxuan paused, then put his shoes back down. “Okay.”

The bed was big enough for two. They each had a pillow and shared the same blanket.

In the dark, Xu Lin lay awake. He heard some rustling beside him, and a warmth pressed against him. Ji Jinxuan took his hand, then wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him close just like the previous nights. Xu Lin didn’t say anything. He shifted slightly, pressing closer.

“Can’t sleep?” Ji Jinxuan asked.

“My tongue hurts a little.”

“Let me see.”

“The lights are off.”

Ji Jinxuan sat up and turned on the bedside lamp. The dim yellow light fell over them.

He held Xu Lin’s chin, and Xu Lin opened his mouth, sticking out his tongue. On the tip, there was a small dark red spot, faintly flecked with blood.

Xu Lin said, “It’s nothing. Biting your tongue while eating is normal. It’ll heal in a few days.”

Ji Jinxuan studied it intently. Xu Lin noticed a shift in the air between them. He looked down, hesitated, then looked up again, meeting Ji Jinxuan’s focused gaze.

Their eyes locked.

Ji Jinxuan slowly lowered his head. Xu Lin didn’t blink. Their noses almost touched. Ji Jinxuan didn’t kiss him. Instead, he asked, “May I?”

Xu Lin said nothing. He just closed his eyes.

Two seconds later, warm lips met his.

The blanket was too heavy, making them sweat. Xu Lin sank into the soft pillow, his hand against Ji Jinxuan’s shoulder, crumpling the fabric of his shirt.

Their breathing mixed in the dark, impossible to tell apart.

After a long moment, their lips parted. Xu Lin opened his eyes, a little dazed. He was still clumsy at this.

“Does it hurt?” Ji Jinxuan asked, gently kissing the tip of his chin.

Xu Lin shook his head.

Ji Jinxuan traced his slightly swollen lips with his thumb. “Why aren’t you wearing it?”

“What?” Xu Lin was confused.

Ji Jinxuan stuck out the tip of his tongue, pointing at the surface. He was asking about Xu Lin’s tongue piercing.

“I can’t wear it in the military,” Xu Lin said.

“Did it close up?”

“I don’t think so. I keep it open.”

“How old were you when you got it?”

“Really young. I don’t remember.”

“Why did you want it?”

“I was living on the streets back then. I thought a tongue piercing would make me look cool.” Xu Lin felt a little embarrassed admitting to his childish reasoning.

“It looks great,” Ji Jinxuan said.

“Really?”

“When we first met, you were eating by the riverbank. I saw your tongue piercing then.” Ji Jinxuan paused. “I couldn’t stop looking at it.”

“Later, I kissed you in secret, when you were asleep.” At the time, because of his lies, Ji Jinxuan couldn’t kiss Xu Lin openly. So he’d only dared to sneak kisses at night.

“That’s when I realized—kissing with a tongue piercing feels really good. I got a little addicted.”

Xu Lin pulled the blanket up to cover his mouth. He wasn’t sure if he was embarrassed or still angry about Ji Jinxuan’s past deceptions. He didn’t say anything.

Fearing his silence, Ji Jinxuan asked softly, “Are you angry? About how I lied before?”

“I’ve already been angry about that.” The anger had dragged on long enough. It was over. Xu Lin’s voice was muffled behind the blanket. “Just don’t lie to me again.”

“I promise. Never again.”

Ji Jinxuan leaned down and kissed Xu Lin’s nose. “I love kissing. I love kissing Xu Lin.”

He pulled the blanket away from Xu Lin’s mouth. “Can I kiss you?”

Xu Lin’s ears burned. He hooked his arms around Ji Jinxuan’s neck and leaned in, parting his lips.

The next day, Xu Lin slept until noon.

When he woke, Ji Jinxuan was sitting at the table with his back to him, fiddling with something. He turned at the sound of Xu Lin stirring. “You’re awake. Are you hungry? I made breakfast.”

It was closer to lunchtime now. Xu Lin didn’t mind. He freshened up, sat down, and drank half the warm soy milk in one go.

He noticed what Ji Jinxuan had laid out on the table—a pharmacy bag with a spray inside.

“Does your wound still hurt?” Ji Jinxuan asked. A whole night had passed, and he was still worried about that tiny cut in Xu Lin’s mouth.

Xu Lin touched his tongue with his own. “It doesn’t hurt as much now.”

“Let me spray it for you.”

Xu Lin opened his mouth. Ji Jinxuan gently held his chin, their faces close. Two spritzes of bitter medicine filled his mouth. It landed on the small wound on his tongue. It didn’t hurt.

Xu Lin stared at Ji Jinxuan’s eyes. They were amber-colored, clear as water, reflecting his own face.

Ji Jinxuan’s fingertip brushed against Xu Lin’s tongue, sending a strange sensation across its surface.

Xu Lin froze. He knew exactly what Ji Jinxuan was doing.

Half a minute later, Ji Jinxuan lowered his hand. Xu Lin ran his tongue across the roof of his mouth and felt something small lodged there. Ji Jinxuan, like a magician, held up a small mirror.

Xu Lin looked. On his tongue was a blue tongue piercing.

It was a polished synthetic sapphire, its surface rippling like water, gleaming in the light.

“When did you buy this?”

“Ordered it last night.” Ji Jinxuan set the mirror down. “You can’t wear it in the military, but you can wear it at home.”

He added, “It looks cool. Really good.”

Xu Lin smiled. “Are you telling me to wear a tongue piercing because you think it looks cool, or,” he drew out the words, tilting Ji Jinxuan’s chin up and leaning closer, “are you just selfishly wanting to see me with one?”

Ji Jinxuan’s lashes fluttered—a telltale sign that his secret had been uncovered.

Xu Lin’s hand moved to the back of Ji Jinxuan’s neck, pressing lightly against his gland. Ji Jinxuan trembled.

“Yesterday’s dose was the last one. It’s all gone now?”

Ji Jinxuan nodded.

Xu Lin tore off the suppressant patch on his own neck, releasing his pheromones.

“You won’t need those anymore.”

After all, what Ji Jinxuan truly needed—the medicine—he already had.

Xu Lin’s pheromones quickly filled the small room. Ji Jinxuan’s brow furrowed. No matter how many times, he never got used to it. Cold sweat formed on his back. But he didn’t pull away. Instead, he drew even closer to Xu Lin.

“Does it hurt?”

Ji Jinxuan held him close. “As long as you’re here, it doesn’t.”

Xu Lin rested his head on Ji Jinxuan’s shoulder. He looked up, his hand pressing down on the back of Ji Jinxuan’s head.

Before their lips met, Xu Lin laid down the law. “Don’t let it fall out.”

Ji Jinxuan’s reply was swallowed by their shared breath.

Xu Lin thought he finally understood what it felt like to kiss Ji Jinxuan.

It was bitter, laced with pain and the taste of blood.

But once that was licked away, the sweetness he’d been waiting for finally came through.