Chapter 33: “The First Year”

Because Ji Jixuan liked it, the anklet stayed on.

After a while, Xu Lin got used to having it there.

The rut seemed to have changed Ji Jixuan in many ways. He spent more time at home that year than in the previous two years combined. The two of them were almost inseparable.

Their earlier days of just talking under the covers had become a luxury. Ji Jixuan always turned off the lights. Xu Lin would usually lose consciousness by the end, or simply pass out. He couldn’t believe that the person who now clung to him like a large, eager dog was the same man as before.

Had the rut fried his brain or something?

The anklet swung wildly as Xu Lin lay in the darkness.

“Thirsty…”

He pushed against Ji Jixuan’s shoulders, his neck arched back, his limbs too weak to move. His throat, parched from lack of water, burned with an itchy, dry ache.

Hearing him, Ji Jixuan stopped and got up to get him some water. Xu Lin collapsed onto the bed, using this precious moment to collect his scattered thoughts.

In the darkness came the sound of water being poured into a glass, then footsteps. Ji Jixuan lifted Xu Lin’s upper body and pressed the glass to his lips.

“Drink.”

The cool water soothed his throat. Xu Lin drank greedily, finally catching his breath.

After finishing most of the glass, he asked, “Can you see?”

There was no light in the room. No matter how wide Xu Lin opened his eyes, he couldn’t see a thing. Yet Ji Jixuan had found the glass, poured the water, and returned to the bed without bumping into anything.

Thud. The glass was set gently on the nightstand.

Ji Jixuan climbed back into bed, pulled Xu Lin by the waist, and said, “I can’t see.”

“Then—”

“The room’s small and I know the layout. I can move around even in the dark.”

“Is that so?” Xu Lin was skeptical.

“Yes.” Ji Jixuan gripped his ankle and pulled him down. “If you don’t believe me, try it yourself tomorrow with your eyes closed.”

His movements quickly scattered Xu Lin’s thoughts again, and he forgot all about it in the storm that followed.

---

Time with Ji Jixuan flew by.

The weather grew cold. Winter was approaching.

At the end of the year, Ji Jixuan was always busy.

One day, he’d gone to the office. It was too cold to go into the mountains, so Xu Lin made himself a cup of tea, curled up on the sofa, and flipped through a magazine.

He was so absorbed that he didn’t notice Ji Jixuan’s return until the man came up behind him and wrapped his arms around him.

“What are you reading?” Ji Jixuan asked.

Xu Lin held up the magazine. “This is pretty interesting.”

The open page featured an article about motorcycle racing, with photos of heavy-duty bikes and riders.

Xu Lin pointed at a bike, clearly envious. “We don’t have these where I’m from. I’ve only seen them on the streets since I came to Danshi. They’re so cool.”

After a few seconds, Ji Jixuan lifted Xu Lin onto his lap. Xu Lin settled into a comfortable position and kept reading.

Ji Jixuan bit his neck, and Xu Lin obediently tilted his head to let him, his eyes still on the magazine.

“…” Ji Jixuan frowned.

He took the magazine and tossed it aside.

“Hey! I wasn’t done—”

He was pinned to the sofa before he could finish.

---

The next day, Xu Lin was woken by Ji Jixuan.

Usually, after a night of being thoroughly worn out, Ji Jixuan would let him sleep until the afternoon. But today, he was insistent.

Xu Lin was still sore all over. He rolled over, not even opening his eyes. “What is it? Let me sleep a little longer.”

He heard some rustling. Ji Jixuan had gone to the closet and returned, dressing Xu Lin himself. Then he wrapped him in a blanket and carried him downstairs.

Xu Lin let himself be handled like a doll, too tired to open his eyes.

He was warm and cozy until a gust of cold wind hit his face, jolting him awake.

He opened his eyes to find himself in the yard. He pulled the blanket tighter, revealing only half his face. “Where are we going?”

Ji Jixuan tilted his chin toward something. Xu Lin followed his gaze and saw a black heavy-duty motorcycle in the yard—the same model he’d seen in the magazine.

He perked up immediately.

He scrambled out of Ji Jixuan’s arms, ran to the bike, and circled it, his face bright with joy. A guess formed in his mind, but he couldn’t quite believe it. “This is…?”

“For you.” Ji Jixuan confirmed his guess. “Do you like it?”

“Wow! I love it!” Xu Lin threw his arms around Ji Jixuan and kissed his cheek repeatedly. “Thank you, Xuan-ge!”

He wasn’t wearing shoes, his bare feet cold and dusty on the ground. Ji Jixuan lifted him by the waist and set his feet on top of his own shoes.

“Now you can visit Maomao on this,” he said, emphasizing the name. Xu Lin was delighted.

The mountain was huge. Xu Lin had always had to walk everywhere, so having a bike made things much easier. Even if he could only ride it on the mountain, it was still great.

He couldn’t wait to try it. He went inside to put on a jacket, shoes, and helmet, circling the bike excitedly before mounting it.

The engine roared. Ji Jixuan expected him to shoot off, but instead, Xu Lin reached out his hand, his eyes curving into a smile. “Want a ride, Second Young Master Ji?”

Ji Jixuan paused.

Seeing him hesitate, Xu Lin beckoned. “Now or never.”

Ji Jixuan’s fingers curled. He placed his hand in Xu Lin’s, who gripped it tightly.

Xu Lin was thrilled, circling the mountain roads twice before his excitement settled. He parked the bike on a flat spot at the top, surrounded by a railing—a place he’d discovered by chance.

“The view is great here. Sunrises and sunsets are beautiful.”

He helped Ji Jixuan off the back, found a large rock, and spread a handkerchief on it before sitting down beside it. Its purpose was obvious.

Ji Jixuan stared at the handkerchief for a moment. Xu Lin pulled him down to sit.

They sat side by side at the summit, overlooking half of Danshi. A golden glow lay on the distant horizon, and the wind rustled through the mountain trees.

“You come here often?” Ji Jixuan asked.

“Yeah. I used to.” Xu Lin answered honestly. “I haven’t been much since you came back.”

He took a deep breath, as if savoring the familiar air. The breeze lifted the hair by his cheek, revealing the scar beneath.

Ji Jixuan looked away, as if pricked by a needle.

He realized why Xu Lin hadn’t been here. This past year, he’d been home almost all the time. The two years before that, Xu Lin had been alone in these mountains.

Xu Lin felt warmth in his palm. He looked down. Ji Jixuan had taken his hand, fingers interlaced. His ring was cool against Xu Lin’s skin.

“Xu Lin.”

He looked up to find Ji Jixuan’s serious expression. “From now on, I’ll always be with you.”

Xu Lin blinked. A smile tugged at his lips. He tilted his head and rested it on Ji Jixuan’s shoulder.

After a quiet moment, he squeezed Ji Jixuan’s hand.

“Okay,” he said.

---

This was his third New Year since their marriage.

Ji Jixuan had been busy for days, barely home. Xu Lin was used to his year-end schedule.

On New Year’s Eve, Xu Lin didn’t rush to prepare like in previous years. Once bitten, twice shy—no point cooking a feast only for it to end up in the fridge. The first year, he’d cooked and Ji Jixuan hadn’t come. The second, he’d said he would but stood him up. He’d been upset then, but now it was in the past.

He sent Ji Jixuan a message, but there was no reply—he was probably too busy.

Xu Lin waited all day. By evening, when Ji Jixuan still hadn’t shown, he didn’t bother cooking. He wasn’t hungry and didn’t want to fire up the stove, so he made instant noodles.

He’d only taken a couple of bites when he heard the door unlock. Ji Jixuan appeared in the entrance.

They stared at each other—Ji Jixuan, and Xu Lin eating instant noodles.

Xu Lin swallowed quickly. “Oh! You came back!”

It sounded strange as soon as he said it. This was Ji Jixuan’s home so of course he’d be here on New Year’s. It came out like he was unwelcoming.

He corrected himself. “No, I mean, why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”

He hurried over. “Are you hungry? What do you want to eat?”

Ji Jixuan glanced at the steaming noodles on the table. In the big, silent house, Xu Lin had been alone, eating instant noodles.

Was this how he’d spent the last two New Years?

“…” Ji Jixuan said, “Sorry I’m late.”

“It’s fine. You’re busy, it’s okay.” Xu Lin said, “I’ll make something.”

He went to the kitchen and opened the fridge. He had ingredients, but everything would take time. On New Year’s, he didn’t want to serve Ji Jixuan something simple.

He belatedly realized this was their first real New Year together. He kicked himself for being lazy today.

Ji Jixuan came up behind him and hugged him.

“Have you been waiting long?”

“No…” Xu Lin bit his tongue. “What do you want to eat?”

“Anything.”

“That won’t do.”

“Weren’t you eating instant noodles?”

“…That was an accident.”

Ji Jixuan rested his chin on Xu Lin’s shoulder. “What did you do for New Year’s in District Thirteen?”

Xu Lin was off and running. “Tons. We always had a big celebration—barbecue in the yard, my teacher would make home-cooked dishes, buy fruit, and my friends and I would set off fireworks. Sometimes we’d play cards all night…”

He chattered on, and Ji Jixuan listened quietly.

“Then let’s do that,” Ji Jixuan said.

“Do what?”

“Everything you did in District Thirteen. Let’s do it together.”

“Are you sure?” Xu Lin hesitated. In District Thirteen, they were simple and happy, but would Ji Jixuan, who’d been pampered his whole life, like that?

“Yes.” Ji Jixuan was set on it.

Xu Lin stopped refusing.

With a few hours until midnight, they made dumplings. Ji Jixuan helped despite Xu Lin’s protests. He’d never done this before, so Xu Lin taught him patiently. He caught on quickly and did well, focusing intently, flour on his face without noticing. Even his germophobia didn’t act up.

Xu Lin couldn’t help laughing at the serious expression on the flour-dusted face. He reached up and gently wiped the flour off.

“Only kids get flour on their faces.”

He laughed as he wiped, his fingers brushing Ji Jixuan’s lashes. He lowered his hand but Ji Jixuan leaned his face closer again. Xu Lin continued rolling dough. “It’s clean.”

A few minutes later, he looked up and Ji Jixuan’s face was messy again.

After the dumplings, they went to the yard to set off fireworks. They used leftovers from previous years that Xu Lin had prepared but never used—luckily they hadn’t gotten damp.

Under the fireworks, they sat together on the doorstep.

Ji Jixuan tucked the blanket tighter around Xu Lin and put his hands inside his own clothes.

“Are you cold?”

Xu Lin shook his head. He looked happy, watching the fireworks with shining, misty eyes.

Ji Jixuan watched him, then, as if spellbound, leaned in and kissed his eyes.

Xu Lin froze for a second, then looked at him. Their eyes met.

Ji Jixuan’s gaze dropped to his lips.

He lowered his head slowly. Just as he was about to reach them, a sudden burst of fireworks jolted Xu Lin awake. He covered Ji Jixuan’s mouth.

He said softly, “It’s okay, Xuan-ge. Don’t do anything you don’t like.”

“…”

Ji Jixuan raised his hand and pulled Xu Lin into a tight embrace.

So tight that Xu Lin almost couldn’t breathe.

The fireworks burst above them in dazzling colors.

Xu Lin was completely enveloped in Ji Jixuan’s arms.

The clock struck twelve.

A new year began.

Ji Jixuan’s voice came from above. “Every year from now on, you’ll spend it with me.”

Xu Lin’s nose tingled. Sweetness filled his mouth.

He nodded, his voice sincere in Ji Jixuan’s arms, “Okay.”