Chapter 65: First become a normal person

Pu Sha did not speak. Ji Jinxuan waited patiently.

After the dizziness passed and his senses returned, Pu Sha’s legs gave out. He gripped the edge of the table and slowly sat back down in his chair. He did not know what he was thinking. After a long while, he finally spoke.

“I don’t know where he is.”

The same story.

“Fine. So you’re determined to stick with that.”

Ji Jinxuan pulled over a chair and sat down casually, his hands folded on his knees, his posture unhurried. His voice was low. “I have all the time in the world to wait you out.”

If Pu Sha refused to talk, Ji Jinxuan had countless ways to force him. But the thought that Xu Lin would be angry stopped him. Xu Lin cared most about his teacher. He would not stay away for long. He would eventually come back to visit.

Ji Jinxuan lowered his head and slowly adjusted his cuffs.

It did not matter. He could wait.

Pu Sha glanced up at him and noticed the hideous scar on the back of Ji Jinxuan’s right hand. It looked like the mark of a blade piercing clean through.

Ji Jinxuan had spent six months in confinement, and now he had come uninvited to District Thirteen, seemingly prepared to wait Pu Sha out until the end of time.

By all accounts, Ji Jinxuan would not be able to stand living in a place like District Thirteen. But he was stubbornly determined to stay.

Pu Sha’s house had a room that belonged to Xu Lin. Ji Jinxuan moved in without asking.

Xu Lin’s room was small. A fold-out bed, a small wardrobe, and a desk filled the space completely, leaving no room for anything else.

Ji Jinxuan took over Xu Lin’s room. He looked around at the space filled with Xu Lin’s presence, closed his eyes, and breathed in the air. It smelled like Xu Lin.

He pulled out the chair and sat down at the desk. Though old, the desk was clean, piled with miscellaneous reference books. Every one of them had curled, yellowed pages, clearly flipped through countless times by Xu Lin. The notes inside were neat and meticulous.

He could almost see the younger Xu Lin sitting at this desk, the small desk lamp casting dim light, hunched over with a pen, working hard and diligently. He had put in so much effort to come to the capital for school. He had always worked so hard.

He opened a drawer and saw something. His hand paused.

After a long moment, he reached in and picked up a faded paper dragonfly from the corner of the drawer. It had been folded a long time ago. On its wing was a line of youthful, smudged handwriting.

“Xu Lin must work hard!”

Such childish determination.

Ji Jinxuan smiled. But the smile froze, then faded. He curled his fingers weakly, holding the paper dragonfly loosely in his palm, and brought it to his lips. He lowered his head.

Pu Sha could not drive Ji Jinxuan away. If it had been just Ji Jinxuan alone, it would have been one thing. But there was also the swarm of Alphas following him, like ants moving house, loitering around the school and his home every day. It was impossible not to notice.

Little Fatty and Shitou did not know the history between Ji Jinxuan and Xu Lin. They only assumed he was there to cause trouble and wanted to help Pu Sha. But they knew better than to think they could stand up to a whole group of Alphas. They quietly discussed it with Pu Sha, who told them not to worry.

He was not too concerned. Ji Jinxuan was just talking. He would not last long. He would leave soon. After all, even Pu Sha had needed time to adjust when he first came to District Thirteen. Ji Jinxuan would be no different.

But one night, after grading papers, Pu Sha noticed the light on in Xu Lin’s room. The door was slightly ajar. He looked in and saw Ji Jinxuan curled up on the floor, asleep.

Pu Sha was taken aback. Ji Jinxuan had been here for months now. He had assumed Ji Jinxuan would sleep in Xu Lin’s bed. But he had not. All these months, he had laid a blanket on the floor and slept there every night. Xu Lin’s belongings remained untouched. He could not bear to disturb any of Xu Lin’s things.

Perhaps the only intrusive thing Ji Jinxuan had done was take an old shirt of Xu Lin’s from the wardrobe and hold it carefully in his arms, only daring to hug it while he slept.

Pu Sha stood at the door for a moment, silent, then returned to his own room. He closed the door and sat on the edge of his bed. The image of Ji Jinxuan’s curled figure lingered in his mind, alongside the look of despair in Xu Lin’s eyes when he had come home. He pondered for a long time, then let out a silent sigh.

Perhaps he had been wrong. Ji Jinxuan might actually be able to wait forever.

Days passed. Autumn came and went, and winter followed.

At the start of the new year, Ji Jinxuan did not see Xu Lin. Instead, Zhuang Xun came from the capital to find him. He looked at Ji Jinxuan with a stern expression, disappointed. “Have you had enough? Do you plan to waste away like this forever?”

Ji Jinxuan had served six months of confinement and spent another six months in District Thirteen. The person he wanted to see had never appeared. He and Xu Lin had been apart for a year.

He had thought Xu Lin would come home for the New Year to be with his teacher. But he had not. Xu Lin had not come home at all. Was it just to avoid him? Was he so unwilling to see him that he would not even visit his most important teacher?

Pu Sha, seeing Zhuang Xun, felt conflicted. He said nothing more, only helped persuade Ji Jinxuan. “Go back. Xu Lin doesn’t want to see you. No matter how long you wait, there won’t be a result.”

“Why are you so fixated on him?”

“Given your situation, there’s no future anymore. Find someone more suitable for each of you.”

Ji Jinxuan looked at the small bungalow before him. After a long silence, he said, “Fine. I’ll go back.”

Zhuang Xun had expected this to be a difficult battle. Ji Jinxuan’s sudden agreement caught him off guard. Pu Sha was equally surprised.

Had he finally given up? Had he come to his senses?

Ji Jinxuan turned and walked away. He did not look back.

He boarded the plane, silent the entire way, and returned to the villa in Danshi. Once there, he went into the study and sat at his desk, showing no particular reaction. Seeing him so calm, Zhuang Xun thought everything was fine. It seemed his time in District Thirteen had finally brought him to his senses.

His period of depression had been shorter than expected, but that was a good thing. At least Zhuang Xun’s effort in sending Xu Lin away had not been in vain. With no one to see, feelings would fade over time.

Zhuang Xun considered his words, then offered comfort. “The two of you aren’t right for each other. Move on. Maybe you’ll meet someone better.”

Ji Jinxuan said nothing. He stared at a dagger in the pen holder.

“It’s fading,” Ji Jinxuan suddenly said.

“What?” Zhuang Xun did not catch it.

Ji Jinxuan raised his right hand and repeated, “It’s fading.”

He was talking about the scar on the back of his hand. Ji Jinxuan healed quickly. A year had passed, and even without medication, the wound from Xu Lin’s blade had healed well, the scar naturally fading.

Zhuang Xun, misunderstanding, thought he was troubled by the scar and casually agreed. “Yeah, it’ll disappear soon.”

“No.”

Ji Jinxuan uttered the word softly. Before Zhuang Xun could react, he grabbed the dagger from the pen holder.

Thunk.

The blade struck the desk. The sharp dagger pierced clean through Ji Jinxuan’s hand, resting on the desk, the angle perfectly matching the fading scar on the back of his hand. Not satisfied, he twisted the blade, tearing the wound wider.

Blood gushed out, spreading across half the desk.

Zhuang Xun rushed over, grabbing his wrist to stop the self-harm. “What are you doing!”

“He didn’t give me much.” Ji Jinxuan’s expression was cold, as if he felt no pain. “Lose it, and it’s gone forever. He doesn’t want to see me. Fine. Then he won’t see me. Once I’m gone, he’ll go home. When he comes home, I’ll go find him, and then I’ll see him.”

His words were unhinged, deranged. A chill ran down Zhuang Xun’s spine. He had thought Ji Jinxuan had left District Thirteen so readily because he had given up. Instead, he was waiting for Xu Lin to lower his guard and walk into the trap.

Zhuang Xun said, “You’re insane.”

Ji Jinxuan stared at him. After a moment, he seemed to guess something and suddenly asked, “Is it you? Are you the one helping him?”

The topic shifted so quickly that Zhuang Xun was caught off guard. A flicker of wavering in his eyes betrayed him.

One glance was enough for Ji Jinxuan to confirm it. His eyes narrowed slightly, his voice cold. “It was you.”

No wonder. No matter how he searched, he could not find a trace of Xu Lin. No wonder Zhuang Xun had shown no surprise when he saw Pu Sha. They had already met, when Ji Jinxuan had been unconscious.

What deal had he made with Xu Lin? What could have convinced Xu Lin, who hated him so much, to return to Dan City and offer his pheromones? Yes, why would he come back to a place he had fought so hard to escape without something in return? The only thing Xu Lin would have wanted was likely just one thing.

“What did you promise him?” Ji Jinxuan answered his own question. “You promised him that I would never see him again. Isn’t that right?”

Caught, Zhuang Xun stopped pretending. “Yes.” His brow furrowed, his tone stern. “I don’t think I did anything wrong. What, you think I’m meddling? Breaking you two up? Getting in your way?” Zhuang Xun said. “I don’t have that kind of time.”

“If you weren’t Hongyun’s brother, and if I didn’t want to watch you die, I wouldn’t bother with you.” He stared at Ji Jinxuan’s still-bleeding hand. “Hongyun was right. Among the Ji family, you’re the most troublesome one. Look at yourself. Even setting Xu Lin aside—who could stand you?”

Ji Jinxuan’s gaze faltered.

“No matter how smart you are,” Zhuang Xun said, “first become a normal person, Ji Jinxuan. Then we’ll talk about everything else.”

After Zhuang Xun left, Ji Jinxuan stood alone in the room. He was silent for a long time, then reached down and pulled the dagger from the back of his hand. The blade dripped with blood. The wound that had been healing was now fresh again.

In his lowered line of sight, a pair of feet appeared. On the left ankle, a gold anklet swayed slightly with the movement.

He looked up. Xu Lin, whom he had not seen in so long, sat on the edge of the desk, looking down at him with a smile.

[“I’m so glad. Our compatibility is so low. How wonderful.”]

No. It was not wonderful.

[“This is retribution, isn’t it?”]

Retribution?

Xu Lin reached out and touched the back of Ji Jinxuan’s neck.

[“How disgusting. Like rotting flesh.”]

I’m sorry.

[“Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot. Ji Jinxuan was always rotten to begin with.”]

…Is that so?

The dagger fell to the floor. The vision of Xu Lin vanished.

“Normal.” Ji Jinxuan repeated softly. “A normal person…”

“Retribution.”

[“I’m not afraid of any retribution.”]

Ji Jinxuan laughed.

Retribution. Yes, retribution. How could anyone not be afraid of retribution? His retribution had already come the moment Xu Lin left.

“But how do I do that…” Ji Jinxuan murmured, a genuine confusion in his voice. “…Be a normal person.”