Chapter 83: Just a little longer

Xu Lin held the snowmen for too long. They began to melt in his hands. Water dripped through his fingers onto the ground.

Frustrated, he raised his hand and threw the snowmen to the ground. As if shattering them would finally erase Ji Jinxuan from his mind.

The snowmen broke apart. As he raised his foot to stomp on them, he noticed something. Among the snow, there was a bright patch of red. It looked like the snowman had been ripped open, revealing bloody insides.

He froze and looked closer.

The red was snow too. Snow dyed red. But the red snow was completely wrapped in white, so it looked normal.

Xu Lin crouched down, picked up some red snow, and brought it to his nose.

The snow melted on his fingers, leaving red marks. Its scent filled the air.

Blood. A thick, metallic smell.

“Cough.“

Ji Jinxuan coughed, his hand over his mouth. His palm was wet, stained red. He calmly pulled out a handkerchief and wiped his hand clean.

This was a small two-story apartment he had bought. The outdoor stairs were old, rusted from years of sun and rain, creaking underfoot. District Thirteen had no good houses, but this was the closest he could get to Xu Lin.

Standing on the second-floor balcony, he could see the fence of Xu Lin’s yard.

It felt like he was closer.

[“Do you need to turn my life upside down to be happy?”]

Ji Jinxuan lowered his gaze, his amber eyes hidden beneath long lashes, wet from coughing. He let out a breath, his throat dry and raw.

No.

He wanted Xu Lin to be happy. To be at peace. Healthy and safe. Whether he was watching or not, he wanted Xu Lin to have the best life. Even if Xu Lin’s future no longer included him.

He just wanted, before that moment came, to see him a little longer. Just a little longer.

Little Fatty hummed as he carried a bag of beer toward Pu Sha’s house. He glanced up as he passed the apartment building.

He spotted Ji Jinxuan by the railing.

Little Fatty was startled. Ji Jinxuan did not see him. Feeling the cold, he checked his pockets, found nothing, and went inside.

Little Fatty muttered, “Isn’t that…”

He hurried to Pu Sha’s house. “Teacher, guess who I saw!”

Pu Sha was not there. Xu Lin was sitting in the yard, wrapped in a blanket, staring into space.

Little Fatty called out to him. “Lin-ge, where’s the teacher?”

“He went out.” Xu Lin noticed his expression. “What’s wrong?”

Xiaopang did not know about the history between Ji Jinxuan and Xu Lin. He only remembered Ji Jinxuan surrounding the school with a group of people years ago and staying at Pu Sha’s for months. He was quiet and clearly not a good person. Little Fatty assumed he had some grudge against Pu Sha, never suspecting Xu Lin was the real reason.

Back then, Xu Lin had already been in the military. Little Fatty thought he did not know, so he told him about the incident, indignant. “You know that weird guy? He’s here now. Staying in that apartment over there. He had no reason to surround the school before and stayed for so long. What’s he planning now? Is he going to cause trouble for the teacher again?”

“Lin-ge, should we check it out? He’s alone this time. We can handle him.”

Xu Lin asked, “Apartment?”

“Yeah, I saw him go inside.” Little Fatty rested his chin on his hand, puzzled. “What’s a guy from the capital doing here in District Thirteen? He’s definitely up to something.”

“Lin-ge?” Xu Lin was silent, so Little Fatty urged him. “What do you think?”

Xu Lin stood up. “Leave him alone.”

“But…”

Xu Lin interrupted. “Where’s the stuff I asked you to buy?”

“Oh, here.” Little Fatty handed him the bag of beer. Xu Lin took it into the kitchen and lit the stove. “The teacher will be back for lunch. You’re eating here too. If you’re free, help me prep.”

Little Fatty obediently started washing vegetables. “Are you sure we don’t need to do anything about him?”

Xu Lin was silent. He tossed chili peppers into hot oil, and they sizzled.

When Pu Sha returned, lunch was ready. Little Fatty waited eagerly at the table, swallowing. When Pu Sha appeared, he called to the kitchen, “The teacher’s back! Time to eat!”

Xu Lin brought out three bowls of rice. “Eat.”

Little Fatty grabbed his chopsticks and reached for a salt-and-pepper rib. “I’ve missed Lin-ge’s cooking—” He took a bite and grimaced, as if the rib had bitten him.

Xu Lin asked, “What’s wrong?”

Little Fatty swallowed with difficulty, drank half a glass of water, and said, “It’s so salty, Lin-ge!”

Xu Lin was confused. This was one of his best dishes. He would not mess it up. He took a bite himself and his expression changed.

He had messed up. It was so salty. He must have added salt multiple times without realizing.

“Wow,” Little Fatty said. “Are you feeling okay? You seemed distracted when you were cooking. What are you thinking about?”

“Nothing.”

Pu Sha glanced at Xu Lin, thoughtful.

No one could eat the overly salty ribs. Xu Lin thought about rinsing them and feeding them to strays. Little Fatty said, “I’ll take them. I’ll cook them at home. My grandma has a few puppies. I’ll give them the ribs.”

Xu Lin agreed. “Make sure to boil them for a long time and change the water a few times to get the salt out.”

“I know, I know.”

Xu Lin packed the ribs into a container and gave them to Little Fatty.

After lunch, Little Fatty wiped his mouth and ran off with the container.

Xu Lin was washing dishes when Pu Sha came over, rolling up his sleeves. “Let me.”

“No.”

Pu Sha insisted, taking the bowl from his hands and removing his gloves. He pushed Xu Lin out of the kitchen. “Go rest.”

There was something in Pu Sha’s expression, but Xu Lin could not read it. He gave up and went back to the yard, sitting in his wicker chair.

He stared blankly into the distance, lost in thought.

Soon, Little Fatty returned, grinning mysteriously. He looked pleased.

Xu Lin knew that expression well. He only looked like that when he was up to no good.

“Didn’t you go home?”

Xu Lin noticed his empty hands. The container was gone.

“I’m dying. Guess where I went?” Without waiting for an answer, Little Fatty said, “I left that box of super salty ribs at that guy’s door!”

Xu Lin sat up straight. “What?”

“I left a note saying it was a welcome gift from a neighbor. I knocked and ran. I hid nearby and watched. He opened the container, looked at it, and took it inside! I added extra salt before I left. That greedy guy is going to be so salty!” He laughed. “Serves him right for bothering the teacher. I can’t wait to see his face.”

Xu Lin’s expression darkened. Little Fatty smile faded. “Lin-ge? What’s wrong?”

Xu Lin stood up, throwing off his blanket. “Why did you do that?”

“I was just getting back at him for the teacher. It’s no big deal, right? It was just extra salt, not poison. Why are you so angry?”

Xu Lin gritted his teeth and stormed out, leaving Little Fatty calling after him.

He quickly found the apartment building Little Fatty had mentioned. He climbed the creaking iron stairs to the second floor. At the door, he hesitated, then knocked.

There was a moment of silence, then footsteps approached.

The door opened.

Ji Jinxuan’s eyes widened when he saw Xu Lin.

Xu Lin said nothing. He looked inside. The apartment was small, sparsely furnished. He immediately spotted the container on the dining table. It was open. A few ribs were missing.

Ji Jinxuan had eaten them. How could he eat something so salty?

Xu Lin pushed past Ji Jinxuan and walked straight to the table. Beside the container was a pair of chopsticks, neatly placed on a rest, still stained with sauce. Ji Jinxuan had just used them.

How could he eat something left at his door by a stranger?

Xu Lin picked up the container. Ji Jinxuan hesitated, stepping forward as if to stop him, then thought better of it. Xu Lin’s eyes flicked to his right hand. The old scar was visible, but there was no blood.

He looked away and headed for the door, not forgetting to sneer, “You’ll eat anything left at your door. No caution at all. Stupid.”

“It’s not from a stranger,” Ji Jinxuan said softly. “I could tell you made it.”

Xu Lin stopped in his tracks.

From behind, Ji Jinxuan said, “It’s been so long since I’ve eaten food you made.”

Because it had been so long, he ate it even though it was salty? Even if someone was playing a trick on him, he accepted it willingly? Was he trying to gain sympathy?

The image of the blood-stained snowman flashed in Xu Lin’s mind.

Frustrated, he snapped, “You can’t even taste how salty it is?!” He threw the container to the ground. It cracked, spilling ribs and oil everywhere.

He was breathing hard, face to face with Ji Jinxuan’s calm expression.

Xu Lin closed his eyes, regretting his outburst. He turned and left, not looking back.

At the top of the stairs, the cold wind hit his face, bringing back some clarity.

What was he doing? Did it matter what Ji Jinxuan ate? Why was he so angry?

He went back to retrieve the container. As he reached the doorway, he saw Ji Jinxuan crouched on the ground, picking up the scattered ribs one by one and putting them back in the container. His hands were covered in oil, but he did not seem to care.

Xu Lin thought he would throw them away. Instead, he sat down at the table, picked up his chopsticks, and ate them.

He ate slowly, as if tasting something exquisite. But he was eating ribs that had fallen on the floor, covered in dirt, salty to the point of bitterness.

He paused to cough, then continued. He ate slowly, carefully.

In the dimly lit, cramped room, he sat quietly and finished every last rib.