Chapter 77: I want to help the younger you too

[“My grandfather and I have some personal grievances. I wouldn’t even call us family. The engagement banquet was largely to settle things with him once and for all. He’d done… terrible things. Ending it was the only way your teacher and friends could be safe. You could be safe.”]

When Ji Jinxuan had said “terrible things,” had he meant the human experiments?

[“Don’t misunderstand. The wedding was fake. It’s all over now. It’s done.”]

The engagement banquet. The one he had stumbled upon.

“Human experiments?” Xu Lin licked his lips. “What kind of human experiments?”

Zong Ningshuang took a sip of her drink to wet her throat. “Oh, you left early, so it makes sense you didn’t know. Here’s what happened.” She recounted the events of the banquet—the surveillance footage projected for everyone to see, the young Ji Jinxuan strapped to a bed and tortured, and Ji Wang being taken away by the Regulatory Bureau, still protesting, his reputation ruined.

“The Ji family looks glamorous on the outside, but they’re rotten to the core. Not a family. Not even human.”

She sighed, stirring her drink, the ice clinking.

The restaurant had no air conditioning, but a chill ran through Xu Lin.

He had left too early, heartbroken after seeing Ji Jinxuan engaged to someone else. So he had not known what happened next.

Ji Jinxuan’s “grievances” were not petty family squabbles. They were inhuman experiments. When he had explained things later, he had only given a rough outline, revealing nothing. Xu Lin had never expected the truth to be so grim.

And with everything else that happened afterward—learning his wedding was a lie, that Ji Jinxuan had been deceiving him all along—Xu Lin had believed that Ji Jinxuan had never told him a single truth. His trust had shattered, and he had rejected everything about their past.

So Ji Jinxuan had not lied. The engagement had been fake, and everything that day had indeed been to destroy his grandfather.

Seeing his expression, Zong Ningshuang guessed his thoughts and frowned. “Wait. You’re not thinking of forgiving him, are you?”

Her words jolted him out of his thoughts. He blinked, his eyes stinging. After a moment, he shook his head.

“I’m just surprised,” he said. Learning this for the first time, it was natural to be shocked.

He had never known Ji Jinxuan had such a past.

But…

“His past has nothing to do with what he did to me. He lied. He didn’t love me. He gave me a fake wedding. All of that is true. I haven’t forgotten. As for forgiveness, there’s no point.” Xu Lin said quietly, “There’s no future for us. If there’s no future, what’s the use of forgiveness?”

Hearing that, she patted her chest in relief.

“Good. You scared me. Don’t forgive him just because he seems pitiful. If you pity him, who will pity you? If you let yourself be soft-hearted, I’d regret telling you all this. Don’t do it!”

“I know.” Xu Lin smiled. But something felt stuck in his throat, strange and uncomfortable.

They chatted a while longer at the stall. Checking the time, Xu Lin realized he needed to get back. He said goodbye to Shuangshuang.

They walked out and stopped by Xu Lin’s car.

“How long will you be staying?” she asked.

“Not sure exactly, but probably a while.” Xu Lin said, “Don’t worry. I’ll make time to see you when I can. I won’t disappear again.”

“Good.” She patted his shoulder. As they hugged goodbye, she suddenly let out a surprised sound.

“What?” he asked.

She sniffed near his shoulder, frowning. “Strange. There’s a scent…”

She sniffed again, then abruptly pulled back his collar, revealing the suppressant patch on his neck.

“You!” As an Omega herself, she understood immediately. Her face changed. “How did you…”

Her face darkened, her anger rising. “He did this, didn’t he!”

There was no need to name who.

Xu Lin realized Zong Ningshuang still did not know he had been forced into becoming an Omega. He had assumed Zong Xi had told her everything. Seeing her agitation, he tried to calm her. “It happened a long time ago. It’s okay.”

“How can that be okay!” She swore loudly. “How could he do that to you!”

“It’s in the past.” His casual dismissal only fueled her anger.

“It can’t be!” She shouted, then looked at him with pity, her voice trembling. “You must have suffered so much. It’s my fault. If I had found a way to help you sooner, this wouldn’t have happened.”

Seeing her blame herself, Xu Lin said, “Don’t be silly. This has nothing to do with you. You already helped me so much.” He tried to keep his tone light. “See? Becoming an Omega isn’t so bad. I’m fine now. I’m better than before.”

She was speechless. Only Xu Lin could endure such suffering and keep going. Anyone with less resolve or a weaker mind would have been shattered. How could they have survived?

“No wonder, no wonder…” She remembered how unhinged Ji Jinxuan had been back then. “Thank goodness you left early. If you’d stayed with him, he would have destroyed you.”

On the drive back, Xu Lin kept the window open, a cigarette between his lips. His mind was a fog. He wanted to think, but his thoughts would not come together.

When he parked at the institute, he looked down and saw the ashtray was full of cigarette butts. Half the pack was gone. His throat was scratchy. He had not noticed how much he had smoked.

Entering the experimental building, he headed toward Xiao Zhao’s observation room.

From a distance, he stopped short.

In the isolation room, besides Xiao Zhao, there was another person.

Ji Jinxuan. Wearing a black muzzle guard over the lower half of his face.

Xu Lin was puzzled. Hadn’t his heat just passed? Why was he wearing that?

He moved closer and saw Ji Jinxuan crouching in front of Xiao Zhao, talking to him.

Xiao Zhao nodded from time to time. Ji Jinxuan seemed to be giving him instructions. Xiao Zhao asked questions, and Ji Jinxuan answered each one patiently. He showed no sign of annoyance. On the contrary, he was remarkably patient.

Xu Lin had never seen Ji Jinxuan treat anyone like this.

If he had suspected Ji Jinxuan was putting on an act for his benefit, then with Xu Lin gone, he should have shown his true colors. But this was different from what he had imagined.

As Xiao Zhao spoke with Ji Jinxuan, he spotted Xu Lin through the glass and waved excitedly.

Ji Jinxuan followed his gaze and saw Xu Lin.

He stood, said something to Xiao Zhao, and walked out of the observation room.

He approached Xu Lin. “His condition is good. I’m planning to test for allergic reactions tomorrow. If everything’s normal, I’ll increase the dosage to stimulate his gland growth more effectively. If it goes well, he should recover soon.”

Xu Lin looked at his face for a long moment, then said, “Good.”

After the brief update, they fell silent.

Three seconds later, they spoke at the same time.

Xu Lin said, “Why are you wearing the muzzle?”

Ji Jinxuan said, “Where did you go?”

They fell silent again.

Ji Jinxuan spoke first. “My heat just passed. I’m still a bit unstable. Wearing it is a precaution.”

Xu Lin said nothing.

“And you?” Ji Jinxuan asked.

“I went for a walk,” Xu Lin said.

He brushed past Ji Jinxuan, adding, “I went to see Shuangshuang.”

Ji Jinxuan’s eyes widened.

He turned and saw Xu Lin already embracing Xiao Zhao, who had come out of the observation room. There was no chance to ask more.

That night, Xiao Zhao was fast asleep under the covers, murmuring in his dreams. Xu Lin sat at the head of the bed, watching him, tucking the blanket in.

He stepped onto the terrace and lit a cigarette, just as he had the past few nights.

As he smoked, he glanced down.

His eyes narrowed.

He went back inside.

Below, behind the ginkgo tree, Ji Jinxuan saw Xu Lin retreat into the room. The light went off. He stood under the tree for a while, silently said goodnight, and was about to leave.

As he stepped out from behind the tree, he unexpectedly found someone leaning against the building entrance.

Xu Lin stood against the wall, staring coldly at him.

He had known. He had not been wrong the other night. That fleeting figure had been Ji Jinxuan. He had been watching him from below. Every night.

Caught red-handed, Xu Lin straightened and walked toward him. “What are you doing? Taking a walk?”

Ji Jinxuan remained silent.

“Or,” Xu Lin stopped a meter away, “are you spying?”

Ji Jinxuan lowered his gaze, not meeting his eyes. After a moment, he said, “I’m sorry.”

“Did I disturb you?”

He had only wanted to watch from below, from a distance. Was even that too much?

“What if I said yes?” Xu Lin asked. “Would you stop?”

Ji Jinxuan was taken aback, then said softly, “If you don’t like it… I’ll try to change.”

The night was deep and still.

Ji Jinxuan’s face was pale as snow.

Xu Lin stared at him. Ji Jinxuan seemed content to be looked at, but he knew Xu Lin’s gaze was only a signal for him to leave. Reluctantly, he said goodnight and turned to go.

“Why are you so good to Xiao Zhao?”

Ji Jinxuan stopped.

“Just because someone asked? That’s why you’re so attentive?”

Ji Jinxuan turned back, fully facing Xu Lin.

If he reached out, he could pull Xu Lin into his arms. But he did not.

He said quietly, “I want to help him. If I could, I would help the younger you too.”

For a moment, Xu Lin felt his heart skip a beat.

The night wind stirred Ji Jinxuan’s dark hair. He looked at Xu Lin and said, “But I can’t go back in time. I can’t help you.”

“I regret it so much.” His eyes were deep, glistening with transparent moisture. “If only I’d met you sooner.”