Chapter 31: Don’t go

“Why didn’t you die instead?”

“If you ever want to die, do it far away. Don’t cause me trouble.”

“I hope you don’t differentiate into an Alpha.”

“What’s wrong with being an Alpha?”

“It worked! It worked!”

“Every single person in the Ji family is rotten to the core.”

“People like you will never come to a good end… Karma will come. Mr. Ji was the first. Young Master, you’ll be the second.”

“Xuan…”

“Xuan-ge!”

Ji Jixuan opened his eyes. Xu Lin was hovering above him, concerned. “What’s wrong? A nightmare?”

Snapping out of the nightmare in an instant, Ji Jixuan realized he wasn’t at the Ji family estate, but in the villa on the mountain far from the city.

Xu Lin wiped the sweat from his forehead. “How are you feeling? Any better?”

It was still dark.

He’d been fast asleep when he was woken by Ji Jixuan’s slight movements. He’d turned on the light and found Ji Jixuan with his eyes closed, brow slightly furrowed, covered in a cold sweat.

Xu Lin’s hand pressed against his cheek—his skin was cool. When he didn’t answer, Xu Lin leaned in. “Does something hurt?”

He was still anxious about Ji Jixuan’s rut, afraid it hadn’t fully passed.

Ji Jixuan was silent for a long moment. “No,” he said, his voice hoarse.

Xu Lin got up and brought him a glass of water. He took i. The water was still warm.

Then he fetched a fresh set of pajamas. Noticing the sweat on Ji Jixuan’s neck, he suggested, “Want to take a shower? You might catch a cold.”

Ji Jixuan held the glass without moving, watching Xu Lin. The skin visible outside his clothes was marked with bruises, his nape bearing the teeth marks Ji Jixuan had left. His eyes held only one person.

It felt as if the warm water in the glass had burned his fingers.

Ji Jixuan set the glass down and hummed in agreement.

He stepped into the bathroom, turned on the shower, and let cold water pour over him without flinching.

Xu Lin’s cautious voice came from outside. “Don’t let the wound get wet.”

Ji Jixuan blinked, staring at the bandaged hand. Slowly, he moved it under the water, soaking it completely.

When he came out, Xu Lin’s eyes were a mix of panic and anger. “I told you not to let it get wet!”

“Sorry. It was an accident,” he said.

Xu Lin brought out the medical kit again, changed the dressing, and wrapped it in fresh gauze.

He held Ji Jixuan’s hand and touched it. “Why are your hands so cold?”

“You took a cold shower! Are you crazy?”

Ji Jixuan said nothing, just stared at him. Xu Lin pursed his lips, took his hand, and led him back to bed. He wrapped his arms around Ji Jixuan, using his own body heat to warm him.

“You should still go to the hospital tomorrow.” He might as well have said—Ji Jixuan, you’re clearly not okay right now.

Ji Jixuan was much taller than Xu Lin. Holding him was like holding a giant beast. But this beast didn’t know its own weight, pressing closer to Xu Lin, hair brushing his chin, breath warm on his neck.

“Cold.”

“You’ll be cold of course because you showered in cold water at this hour.” Despite his words, Xu Lin held him tighter, tucking the blanket around him. “Better now?”

He patted Ji Jixuan’s back. “Don’t move. Stay still and you’ll warm up soon.”

Ji Jixuan breathed in Xu Lin’s scent. Faint, the smell of laundry detergent, warmed by his body heat into something wonderfully inviting.

A scent that was warm. A scent he wanted to hold onto.

The next morning, Xu Lin was woken by a crushing force.

He whimpered uncomfortably and opened his eyes. He was completely wrapped in Ji Jixuan’s arms, the two arms around his waist threatening to snap him in half. Ji Jixuan’s face was buried in his neck, half his body on top of him.

He was still asleep so it was probably an unconscious gesture.

Xu Lin stretched his neck to take a shallow breath.

Was he a snake? How could he cling like this?

He’d never known Ji Jixuan to sleep so badly.

He wanted to get up, but Ji Jixuan’s grip was too tight. He patted his arm. “Let go. I need to get up.”

Ji Jixuan half-opened his eyes but didn’t let go.

Xu Lin kissed his forehead. “I’m making breakfast. Sleep a little longer.”

“Don’t want it.” Ji Jixuan closed his eyes again.

“I’m hungry. I need to eat.”

“…” Ji Jixuan loosened his grip.

Xu Lin quickly slipped out of his arms and hurried downstairs.

Ji Jixuan used to wake early when he was home. Xu Lin would open his eyes to an empty bed. This was the first time he’d seen him sleep in. Was it because of the rut?

Still, he should get him to a hospital.

He made simple noodles. As he was frying eggs, Ji Jixuan came downstairs.

Xu Lin turned around. Ji Jixuan stood there, head tilted, as if sniffing the air.

Xu Lin set two bowls of noodles with crispy fried eggs on the table. “What are you smelling?”

He mimicked Ji Jixuan, tilting his head up to sniff—all he caught was the smell of noodles and eggs. Nothing else.

He didn’t think much of it and handed Ji Jixuan a pair of chopsticks. “Eat.”

Xu Lin was hungry and dug in. Ji Jixuan held his chopsticks without moving.

Seeing his bandaged hand, Xu Lin understood. “Oh, let me feed you.”

Ji Jixuan finished the whole bowl.

After breakfast, Xu Lin changed his dressing. Was it his imagination, or was the wound much smaller than yesterday?

Were Alphas really that resilient?

“Still hurts?”

“Mm.”

Xu Lin carefully applied the medicine, re-bandaged it, and urged him again. “You should still go to the hospital.”

Ji Jixuan nodded.

Xu Lin walked him to the door.

Once Ji Jixuan was in the car, he received a message. He glanced at it, then said to Xu Lin, “I need to go to the office.”

Xu Lin paused. “Okay.”

Every time Ji Jixuan said he was going to the office, he’d be gone for a long time.

Xu Lin understood what he meant.

He might disappear for months again.

He didn’t say anything, just smiled. “Drive safe. I’ll be waiting for you at home.”

His hands tightened on the wheel. Through the window, he saw the figure standing at the door.

Xu Lin waved goodbye. Only after Ji Jixuan’s car disappeared did he lower his hand.

After all those days together, the house felt empty again.

At the last bend of the mountain road, Ji Jixuan hit the brakes.

In the rearview mirror, the villa was just a tiny speck, about to disappear.

The image of Xu Lin smiling at the door refused to fade.

He didn’t go to the hospital. He didn’t go to the office.

He went to the Ji family estate.

The manor where he’d grown up was just a large residence—not a home. It was more like a hollow cave, lavish on the outside but rotten within.

A tomb for the Ji family.

As Ji Jixuan stepped into the main building, the butler took his coat.

“The doctor came to check. Still no signs of waking.”

Ji Jixuan came to the estate for this one thing. The butler reported as usual.

“Mm.” He responded flatly and went straight to the third floor, pushing open a closed door.

The room was dim, filled only with the steady beeping of machines.

A man lay on the bed, eyes closed, tubes running in and out of his body, kept alive by the expensive equipment beside him.

He no longer had the arrogance and ruthlessness of before.

He was like a piece of rotting wood about to crumble.

Ji Jixuan walked to the bed and looked at his older brother, who had been in a coma for years.

He remembered the first time he’d seen him, at his father’s funeral when Ji Jixuan was four.

Ji Hongyun had lived in the military district. He was tall, unsmiling, his gaze sharp and oppressive. He didn’t look at Ji Jixuan like a brother, but like a pathetic little ant.

He even smiled.

Glancing at the body in the coffin, he said to Ji Jixuan, “If you ever want to die, do it far away. Don’t cause me trouble.”

Ji Jixuan replied, “I will.”

Their father had died, and neither son shed a single tear.

Ji Jixuan and his father had never gotten along.

His father hated him.

He had a beloved wife, but she had died in childbirth. He couldn’t love the child that had killed her. He loathed Ji Jixuan.

“Why didn’t you die instead?” His father rarely came to the estate—once a year, on his mother’s death anniversary. If Ji Jixuan had the misfortune to be in his presence, he’d be cursed like this.

After a while, Ji Jixuan stopped putting himself in his way.

Apart from their shared blood, they were strangers. They barely spoke.

But that only lasted four years.

When Ji Jixuan was four, his father was found dead in his room, empty pill bottles scattered on the floor.

One Mr. Ji left, and another took his place.

Ji Hongyun was eighteen years older than Ji Jixuan.

He took over the company, grasping everything in his hands with ease.

But his relationship with Ji Jixuan was no better.

After Ji Jixuan’s gland was detected, Ji Hongyun once joked, “I hope you don’t differentiate into an Alpha.”

“What’s wrong with being an Alpha?” Ji Jixuan had replied dismissively.

Ji Hongyun’s smile was unreadable.

At ten, Ji Jixuan differentiated into an Alpha with S-rank pheromones.

That same year, Ji Hongyun used a military knife to carve out his own gland.

He was found late at night, a servant’s scream piercing the silence. Covered in blood, Ji Hongyun was rushed to the hospital.

He barely survived, but only on machines.

The doctor said his chances of waking were slim. He would likely sleep forever.

Ji Jixuan didn’t understand why he would destroy his own gland.

Shortly after, he was sent to Ji Wang’s lab.

He finally understood why Ji Hongyun had said, “I hope you don’t differentiate into an Alpha.”

Before him, his older brother, also an S-rank Alpha, had been a test subject.

A year of human experimentation left Ji Jixuan’s health deteriorating. Afraid of damaging his only tool, Ji Wang let him leave the lab.

He spent another year recovering.

During his hospitalization, he discovered why Ji Hongyun had destroyed his gland.

The irony—it was for a Beta who had died.

Just like their father, Ji Hongyun had chosen the same way to end his pain.

Ji Jixuan found it absurd.

Everyone in the Ji family was strange.

Father, older brother, grandfather, himself—hating, using, mocking, despising each other. That was all they had.

Now, one after another, they were all turning into something else for people they’d lost.

After recovering, Ji Jixuan enrolled in school at twelve, temporarily free from Ji Wang’s control.

The manor remained the same.

But the Ji family had no one left.

From then on, Ji Jixuan became the new “Mr. Ji.”

[“Mr. Ji was right. Young Master, you truly are a worthy successor. Suspicious enough. Alert enough.”]

The driver who’d died with a bomb had said that.

He suspected the “Mr. Ji” was Ji Hongyun—though he couldn’t imagine those words coming from him.

[“But it’s a pity… every single person in the Ji family is rotten to the core. People like you will never come to a good end…”]

[“Karma will come. Mr. Ji was the first. Young Master, you’ll be the second.”]

Karma.

What kind of karma?

Ji Jixuan’s fingers traced the tube connected to the back of Ji Hongyun’s neck.

This kind of karma?

Ruining your own gland for a Beta, turning yourself into this pitiful creature?

Then old Hu would be disappointed.

“Don’t worry. Everything in the Ji family will be yours someday. Me? I don’t want this rotten place. Every single person in the Ji family makes me sick.

“I have my own home.”

Ji Jixuan suddenly remembered a day when Ji Hongyun, legs crossed, wore a smile that could almost be called happy, rambling in front of him.

At that time, that unnamed Beta must still have been alive, with him.

Home?

Did Ji Hongyun also feel he had no home?

Was that why, after receiving a Beta’s love, he’d spoken so boastfully, like he was showing off?

Had the arrogant, arrogant Ji Hongyun loved someone like that?

Home.

A warm, gentle voice echoed in his ears.

[“I’ll be waiting for you at home.”]

Ji Jixuan’s breath caught.

That night, Xu Lin thought Ji Jixuan wouldn’t come back. He didn’t feel like cooking much, so he made a simple meal, then curled up on the living room sofa with a book, waiting for sleep.

Suddenly, he heard the soft sound of a door opening.

He looked up. Ji Jixuan had walked in.

Xu Lin was stunned, pleasantly surprised. He set the book down and went to him. “You’re back so soon? I thought you had work to do?”

He’d never imagined that one day Ji Jixuan would leave in the morning and return in the evening.

Ji Jixuan said, “I finished.”

Xu Lin took his hand. “Does your wound still hurt? What did the doctor say?”

“It’s nothing. Doesn’t hurt.”

Xu Lin relaxed. “Are you hungry? Want me to make a late-night snack?”

His hand was firmly held in Xu Lin’s.

Warm, like a cloud.

“Okay,” he said.

In the kitchen, Xu Lin busied himself. Ji Jixuan watched his back, gently rubbing the bandage on his hand.

Late at night, a house with its lights on, someone waiting at the door, the warmth of home, a pair of eyes reflecting only him.

A Xu Lin who cared about his pain.

A Xu Lin who loved him completely.

The rising steam from the noodles, the crispy scent of fried eggs.

Home.

Was this what home smelled like?

It seemed…

Xu Lin was busy cooking when his waist was suddenly wrapped in an embrace from behind.

He couldn’t see Ji Jixuan’s face. “What is it? Really hungry? It’s almost ready. Just wait a little.”

Ji Jixuan buried his face in the crook of Xu Lin’s neck, breathing in his scent.

Warm. Uniquely Xu Lin’s.

It seemed—

Not bad at all.

He thought he understood why Ji Hongyun had been so boastful that day.

“Xu Lin.”

“Mm?”

“Xu Lin. Xu Lin.” Ji Jixuan called his name over and over, arms tightening.

Xu Lin felt the pressure, but didn’t struggle.

He answered each time, “I’m here. I’m here.”

“Don’t go.”

The words came out of nowhere. Xu Lin laughed softly. “Where would I go?”

Ji Jixuan closed his eyes and held him even tighter.

There would never be another little fish like this.

He didn’t want to let this little fish go.