Chapter 92: I suggest you go somewhere

Xu Lin went to the hospital every day for two hours to provide his pheromones.

No one knew when Ji Jinxuan would wake up.

Ten days passed. One sunny afternoon, Ji Jinxuan’s eyes suddenly opened.

Xu Lin had been arranging flowers in a vase—nurses had brought them, and he was trying to keep them from wilting.

He was holding a lily when he sensed movement in his peripheral vision. He turned and saw Ji Jinxuan watching him, head tilted.

Their eyes met.

Xu Lin froze.

Ji Jinxuan stared at him quietly. After a moment, his lips curved beneath the oxygen mask, and he said something.

Xu Lin set down the flower, walked over, and leaned in. “What?”

When he leaned closer, Ji Jinxuan’s eyes widened with surprise and disbelief.

Xu Lin asked, “Does something hurt?”

He was about to press the call button when he heard Ji Jinxuan’s raspy voice, “I thought I was dreaming.”

Xu Lin hesitated, then pressed the button anyway.

He sat down and reapplied his suppressant patch. Only then did Ji Jinxuan realize Xu Lin had been giving him pheromones.

Silence stretched between them until a nurse came in and broke the tension.

Ji Jinxuan’s sudden awakening drew a crowd of medical staff. Xu Lin stood at the back, catching Ji Jinxuan’s gaze through the gaps in the crowd. He looked away, his eyes falling to the brace on his foot.

Li Mu had stayed by his side all this time but had left two days ago to return to duty. Xu Lin’s foot injury had granted him a short leave. He had at most another month before he had to go back.

He was feeling better, so he’d been discharged. He was staying at a small hotel, not the one Zong Xi had offered.

Xu Lin was glad Ji Jinxuan had woken before he left Danshi.

After the checkup, the medical staff left, and the two were alone again.

Ji Jinxuan couldn’t move. He just lay there, watching Xu Lin.

Xu Lin was silent for a moment, then said, “Zong Xi doesn’t know you’re awake yet.”

Ji Jinxuan said nothing.

“He’ll be glad,” Xu Lin added. “He’s the one who found you. Without him, you’d be dead.”

Ji Jinxuan’s lips moved, but not to respond to that. Instead, he said, “I didn’t think you’d help me.”

His eyes moved to the suppressant patch on Xu Lin’s neck. The lingering pheromones in the room told him this wasn’t a dream. Xu Lin had been giving him pheromones all this time. Before, he wouldn’t have dared to hope for that.

Xu Lin’s fingers curled. After a moment, he said, “If a person was dying in front of you and only you could save them, any decent person would help.” He paused. “Don’t overthink it.”

“I’m not.” Ji Jinxuan looked almost afraid of being misunderstood. “I’m just surprised.”

His voice was hoarse, like he’d been without water for too long. It sounded painful.

Xu Lin got him a glass of warm water and helped him sit up, holding the cup to his lips.

Ji Jinxuan drank slowly, his eyes fixed on Xu Lin’s face.

Xu Lin looked away, uncomfortable. “Don’t look at me.”

Ji Jinxuan immediately lowered his gaze.

Then he saw his own left hand. The ring finger was bare. He glanced at Xu Lin’s hand—also bare. Nothing.

“Did you throw it away?” he asked.

Xu Lin was confused. Throw what away?

Ji Jinxuan moved his hand, and Xu Lin understood—he was asking about the rings.

The mention brought back that familiar suffocating feeling.

Xu Lin didn’t answer. Instead, he asked, “Why did you push me off that day?”

Ji Jinxuan blinked. “I was too slow. If you went first, you’d have a better chance.” He added, “Better to save one than lose both.”

“And after I was down, why didn’t you come down right away? I don’t believe you couldn’t.”

“I couldn’t.”

“Liar!”

Xu Lin’s sharp tone made Ji Jinxuan uneasy. He avoided Xu Lin’s gaze. After a long hesitation, he said softly, “I couldn’t hold on. If I went first, I’d only slow us down. You might have died too. I was already out of strength.”

When Ji Jinxuan saw Xu Lin reach the ground safely and watched Li Mu pull him away, the weight on his heart finally lifted. So when the explosion blew open the door and the flames rushed toward him, he wasn’t even afraid.

At least Xu Lin was safe.

“Aren’t you afraid of dying yourself?” Xu Lin was angry. “Everyone’s life is equal. Why is mine worth more than yours?”

Then he froze.

[“Your death would hurt him more than his own.”]

Ye Nianyi’s words echoed in his mind. His ears rang.

Ji Jinxuan looked at him, his expression blank, almost matter-of-fact. He said, “Yes.”

He murmured, “I didn’t want you to get hurt.”

Ji Jinxuan’s injuries were severe, his leg especially. He couldn’t get out of bed. The recovery would take at least a year, but Xu Lin couldn’t stay in Dan City for a year. He had obligations.

So during that month, Xu Lin had the doctors extract a large amount of his pheromones. He would be returning to the military, and Ji Jinxuan could use the extracted pheromones.

Zong Xi visited Ji Jinxuan occasionally after he woke up. They didn’t talk much. Zong Xi seemed distant, still holding a grudge.

One day, Xu Lin overheard them talking through the door.

Zong Xi spoke first. “How did you end up in the basement?”

Ji Jinxuan had been on the fourth floor. Even if the building collapsed, he shouldn’t have ended up in a basement in a different direction. And the basement had been largely intact, untouched by the collapse. It was being in that place that had saved him.

Xu Lin held his breath, listening.

After a few seconds, Ji Jinxuan explained what had happened.

After Xu Lin left, the flames had burst through the door, engulfing the room. The rope had burned away. Ji Jinxuan, clutching his wound, knew he couldn’t escape. He didn’t struggle.

Half-conscious, he stumbled into a collapsed floor and fell to the third level. He was bleeding heavily, his mind fading. The only thought left was to die somewhere he liked.

So he made his way to the basement. He was crawling more than walking, following the crumbling floors down, regardless of height or obstacles. That was when his leg was injured. He couldn’t feel the pain anymore. When he found the basement, he closed the door, collapsed, and lay in the center of the room.

In the room he had designed to look like Xu Lin’s.

He closed his eyes.

This was the coffin he had prepared for himself. Every time his heat came, he came here, ready to die if he couldn’t endure it. To die somewhere close to Xu Lin.

A lie to himself.

Before losing consciousness, he had wanted to take one of Xu Lin’s old shirts to hold, as a burial object. But he was covered in blood, and he didn’t want to stain it. So he let it go.

“I thought that was the end.”

Ji Jinxuan said, “I dreamed a lot. I thought it was my life flashing before my eyes. When I opened my eyes and saw Xu Lin, I thought I was still dreaming.”

Zong Xi’s face was dark. “Too bad you didn’t die. What a waste of a good near-death experience.”

Ji Jinxuan smiled. “Thank you.”

Zong Xi was taken aback.

“Thank you for saving me. For worrying about me,” Ji Jinxuan said. “Without you, I would have died. And Xu Lin wouldn’t have come to help.”

Zong Xi rubbed his temples. He had never heard Ji Jinxuan thank anyone so sincerely. He stood up, said, “Get some rest,” and walked out.

When he opened the door, he saw Xu Lin standing there.

Zong Xi closed the door behind him, making sure Ji Jinxuan couldn’t see them.

He looked at Xu Lin. “Are you okay?”

Xu Lin’s face was pale, distracted. He shook his head. “Fine.”

“Did you hear?”

Xu Lin nodded. “I didn’t mean to.”

“It wasn’t a secret. It’s fine.”

They leaned against the wall in the hallway. Zong Xi handed him a cigarette, and Xu Lin took it.

“When are you leaving?” Zong Xi asked.

“The day after tomorrow. My foot is mostly healed. I’ve been in Dan City too long. I need to get back to the military.”

Zong Xi exhaled smoke and said nothing.

Xu Lin said, “I’ve given the doctors enough pheromones to last him a year. If he needs more, he can ask me.”

Zong Xi flicked his ash. “And after that year?”

Xu Lin was silent.

They finished their cigarettes. Zong Xi put out his butt and asked, “Free tomorrow?”

Xu Lin looked at him. “Why?”

“You’re leaving the day after tomorrow. Tomorrow, I suggest you go somewhere.”

“Where?”

Zong Xi glanced at him. “That villa.”

Xu Lin felt a wave of resistance. He had spent enough time in that place. Just thinking about it made him feel low. What was Zong Xi playing at?

He was about to refuse when Zong Xi interrupted. “I’m not up to anything. It’s just a suggestion. Go or don’t. It’s up to you.”

He turned to leave, tossing over his shoulder, “Just a thought.”