Chapter 94: Heal well

It was already nine in the evening when he arrived at the hospital.

For over a month, Xu Lin had been providing pheromones to Ji Jinxuan and had never been late. This was the first time.

When he stepped out of the elevator, the nurses and doctors rushed toward him like he was a savior.

“Mr. Xu Lin!”

He hadn’t meant to stay at the villa so long. The messages had held him captive. When he finally looked up, it was dark.

He remembered he hadn’t come to the hospital that day, and rushed over. He was still dazed.

Now, seeing their urgency, he thought something had happened. “What’s wrong? Is he okay?”

“No, no, it’s just…” The nurse hesitated. “Chief Ji has been asking about you all day. We didn’t know where you were, and when you didn’t show up, he got… restless. You should go see him.”

Restless? What could he possibly do, lying there with broken legs?

Xu Lin pushed open the door and walked in.

Ji Jinxuan turned his head at the sound. His hands were strapped to the bed with restraints. Fresh scratches covered the scarred back of his hand, dried blood crusted around them.

He’d been hurting himself with his nails.

When he saw Xu Lin, he tried to move, but couldn’t. He closed his mouth, not daring to speak, and just watched.

Xu Lin walked to the bedside. His eyes lingered on the scar on Ji Jinxuan’s hand—the scar that had been reopened and healed so many times it had become a grotesque mass.

He looked away and sat down in the chair.

Ji Jinxuan spoke first. “I thought you weren’t coming.”

Xu Lin looked at him. “I was held up.”

Ji Jinxuan couldn’t help asking, “Where did you go?”

Xu Lin didn’t answer. The room fell silent. Ji Jinxuan realized he had overstepped. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. You don’t have to tell me.”

Xu Lin removed the medical collar from Ji Jinxuan’s neck and tore off his own suppressant patch, releasing his pheromones.

Ji Jinxuan would never get used to the feeling. As long as their matching rate was so low, as long as he had his gland, herpheromones would always be painful. It was like bitter medicine—you knew it would save you, but it still made your heart clench. Yet he smiled and asked, as if nothing was wrong, “Are you tired? Did you eat? Are you hungry?”

Xu Lin’s hands clenched on his knees. He thought Ji Jinxuan should be more worried about himself.

When Xu Lin didn’t answer, Ji Jinxuan just waited, watching him.

Finally, when the room was filled with their mingled pheromones, Xu Lin spoke. “I’m not coming tomorrow.”

Ji Jinxuan froze.

“Or the day after. Or any day after that.” Xu Lin saw the shock on Ji Jinxuan’s face. “I have to go back to the military. I can’t stay here waiting for you to recover.”

“I’ve given the doctors enough of my pheromones to last you a year.”

“I also told Zong Xi that if you need more, you can ask me.”

Clang.

Ji Jinxuan’s restrained hands jerked, hitting the bedrail. His face changed, filled with anxiety, as if he hadn’t expected Xu Lin to leave so soon.

Only the doctors and Zong Xi had known. Ji Jinxuan had been kept in the dark, foolishly thinking Xu Lin would stay until he was better.

Xu Lin stood, his back to Ji Jinxuan, and poured a glass of water. He added something to it.

“The doctors say you only need a daily infusion of my pheromones. I don’t need to be here. Your injuries and leg will heal within a year if you stick with the treatment.”

He watched the small granules dissolve in the water.

He turned and walked back to the bed. He untied Ji Jinxuan’s hands and helped him sit up, bringing the glass to his lips.

“Drink. I added some sugar.”

Ji Jinxuan was distracted, thinking about Xu Lin leaving. He wanted to ask him to stay, but couldn’t find the words. He didn’t want Xu Lin to think he was taking advantage. He didn’t want to waste the water Xu Lin had offered, so he drank it slowly, draining most of the glass without flinching.

Xu Lin frowned. When Ji Jinxuan looked up, Xu Lin had schooled his features back to neutrality.

“Is it sweet?” he asked.

Ji Jinxuan licked his dry lips. “Yes. Very sweet. Thank you.”

Xu Lin’s grip on the glass tightened until his fingers were white.

“Are you really leaving tomorrow?” Ji Jinxuan asked.

“Yes.”

“Then I’ll make the arrangements.”

“No need. I’ve already booked my flight. Eight in the morning.”

Xu Lin set the glass on the nightstand and lowered his gaze, his lashes casting shadows on his cheeks.

“Ji Jinxuan.” He met his eyes. “Don’t waste my pheromones. Use them. Don’t treat them like decorations. I don’t want them to go to a dead man.”

If Ji Jinxuan fell back into his old habits, too attached to use them, everything Xu Lin had done this past month would be meaningless.

Ji Jinxuan understood the warning. He could see how much Xu Lin hated his self-destructive behavior. He nodded slowly.

After a moment, he asked, “Will you visit me?”

Xu Lin didn’t answer.

“Then…” Ji Jinxuan changed his question. “After I’m better, can I visit you?”

Xu Lin didn’t give a direct answer. “Focus on your recovery.”

He stayed a little longer. They didn’t speak. Ji Jinxuan watched him, as if trying to memorize his face. Xu Lin avoided his gaze.

When it was time, Xu Lin reapplied his patch and left.

At the door, Ji Jinxuan called his name.

Xu Lin stopped but didn’t turn around.

“The rings…” Ji Jinxuan’s voice was barely a whisper. “Did you throw them away?”

Xu Lin’s silence was a confirmation.

“Where?” Ji Jinxuan asked.

He would go looking, just like before.

Xu Lin pulled open the door and walked out without a word.

Late that night, Xu Lin sat on his hotel bed, wide awake. He took out Zong Xi’s card and dialed.

The call connected quickly.

“It’s me,” Xu Lin said.

“I know. What do you need?”

“I want to ask you something.”

“Go ahead.”

Xu Lin rubbed the corner of the bedsheet absently. “Does Ji Jinxuan have a problem with his taste?”

There was a long silence on the other end.

Finally, Zong Xi answered, “Yes.”

A single word confirmed Xu Lin’s suspicion.

When he’d seen the message saying “I can’t taste anything,” he hadn’t thought much of it. But after leaving the villa, he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off.

Ji Jinxuan had eaten his cooking before. During some of the years they were together, he’d come home often enough. He’d always finish his meals. If he couldn’t taste, how could he eat everything so casually?

Then he remembered the salted ribs. Even forcing himself, could he have finished something that awful?

So Xu Lin had tested him. The glass of water he’d given him earlier hadn’t contained sugar. It had contained salt. And Ji Jinxuan had said it was sweet.

Zong Xi explained. “When he was a child, his grandfather used him for long-term human experiments. It affected his body. He lost his sense of taste then. He’s been living on nutritional supplements. Why are you asking?”

Xu Lin bit the inside of his cheek. “Nothing. Just curious.”

Suddenly, Shuangshuang’s voice came through the line, loud and accusing. “Xu Lin! You never told me what happened!”

He sighed, smiling weakly. “I didn’t want to worry you. It was all so sudden.”

“Don’t give me that! Where are you? How are you? I’m coming to see you!”

“I’m fine. I’m leaving tomorrow.”

He promised to see her when he had leave. He’d only come to Dan City to take Xiaozhao for a checkup. He hadn’t expected the explosion and injury to keep him so long. He’d been a mess and couldn’t even take care of himself, let alone contact her. No wonder she was upset.

After some persuasion, she finally calmed down. “Are you flying out tomorrow? I’ll see you off.”

“No need. There will be other chances. It’s not like we won’t see each other again.”

“Fine. But I heard from my brother that Ji Jinxuan is in the hospital and you’ve been giving him pheromones! How could you—hey! Stop pushing me!”

Before she could finish, Zong Xi snatched the phone back.

“Anything else?” he asked. “If not, I’m hanging up.”

“Wait! I’m not done with him!”

“Use your own phone.”

“You confiscated it!”

Xu Lin listened to their argument for a moment. “I’ll hang up now.”

“Alright,” Zong Xi said.

Before ending the call, Xu Lin added, “Don’t tell him I know.”

Zong Xi was quiet for a moment. “Okay.”

The next morning, Xu Lin didn’t go to the hospital. He boarded his flight on time.

He sat by the window, surrounded by the low murmur of passengers.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out the silver chain with the two rings. They lay warm against his palm.

He looked up and out the window. The clouds swirled, the sun rising in brilliant gold. The rings caught the light, sparkling like rainbows.