Chapter 80: If that’s the case, I can

He could not quite describe what he felt in that moment.

The ring still carried Ji Jinxuan’s warmth. It swung in the air for a moment, cooled by the faint breeze, then fell into Xu Lin’s palm and absorbed his own heat.

Ji Jinxuan’s head rested on his shoulder, his hair brushing against Xu Lin’s chin. It was ticklish and impossible to ignore. His steady breathing was close by.

After a long while, Xu Lin pulled Ji Jinxuan’s collar aside and tucked the ring back inside his shirt.

He would pretend he had not seen it.

When Ji Jinxuan opened his eyes again, the first thing he felt was the warmth of another body against his. It was different from the cold, lifeless silence that greeted him every time he woke up on that small iron bed. This warmth was long-missed, like coming home.

The heat came from what he was holding.

He thought he was dreaming. Cautiously, he opened his eyes, afraid to disturb the frozen moment. Very slowly, very carefully, he looked at the person in his arms.

First he saw the tip of a chin, then a straight nose, then the face of a sleeping Xu Lin came fully into view.

For an instant, Ji Jinxuan forgot to breathe.

He lay still, gazing at Xu Lin without blinking.

When Xu Lin was asleep, he did not look at him with cold eyes, did not keep him at arm’s length with indifference. He lay quietly in his arms, unresisting.

It had been so long. So very long.

It was not a dream.

Ji Jinxuan glanced at the small alarm clock on the nightstand. Seven in the morning.

He was even more taken aback.

Xu Lin had stayed with him all night?

Pills were scattered on the floor, along with an Omega collar. Xu Lin had not put it back on. Even in sleep, he was still unconsciously releasing his pheromones.

Ji Jinxuan leaned in close to his neck and breathed in. Xu Lin’s pheromones felt like a steel needle driven into his temple, churning his brain, yet he inhaled them more greedily.

He was so lost in the scent that his nose brushed against Xu Lin’s skin. Xu Lin startled awake.

Their eyes met.

Xu Lin jerked back, but could not move. He looked down. Ji Jinxuan’s arms were still wrapped around his waist.

He glanced at the arms, then at Ji Jinxuan. One look was enough. Reluctantly, Ji Jinxuan released him.

The moment he was free, Xu Lin jumped up, steadied himself, picked up his collar from the floor, and fastened it around his neck.

His back to Ji Jinxuan, his expression was dark.

How had he slept so deeply?

Last night, he had planned to leave once Ji Jinxuan’s condition stabilized. But the arms around his waist were like iron, refusing to let go. He could not get up, so he had stayed.

He had thought that once Ji Jinxuan was deeply asleep, he might loosen his grip, and he could slip away.

Instead, Ji Jinxuan had not woken, but he himself had fallen asleep too?

He remembered that before he slept, Ji Jinxuan’s head was resting in his neck, and he was supporting most of his weight. When he woke, how had their positions reversed? How had he ended up lying in Ji Jinxuan’s arms?

Xu Lin adjusted his collar and tried to smooth the wrinkles on his clothes. It was no use. His thoughts were as tangled as the creases in his shirt, impossible to straighten.

Ji Jinxuan was silent behind him, but his presence was overwhelming. Xu Lin could not stay. He fled.

As he opened the door, Ji Jinxuan’s soft voice came from behind. “Leaving already?”

Xu Lin did not turn back. He did not answer.

Ji Jinxuan said, “Thank you for helping me.”

Xu Lin’s hand tightened on the door handle. He walked away quickly.

The door clicked shut.

Xu Lin climbed the narrow stairs. His hands were shaking so badly he could barely hold the card to swipe the lock.

On his way back to the dormitory, he ran into Xiao Zhao.

Xiao Zhao ran up to him. “Li-ge, where did you go? I’ve been looking for you forever.”

“I, uh,” Xu Lin changed the subject clumsily, “Did you pack everything?”

“Yes! When are we leaving?”

“Soon. Right away.”

Ji Jinxuan had arranged for a plane to be ready at any time. Xu Lin remembered he still needed to pick up Xiao Zhao’s medication. Even though his gland had recovered, he would need to take medicine for a while to consolidate the recovery.

He told Xiao Zhao, “Go wait for me. I’ll get your medicine, and then we’ll leave.”

“Okay!” Xiaozhao answered excitedly.

Xu Lin went to the pharmacy.

The staff member recognized him and quickly prepared Xiao Zhao’s medication, along with a note with dosage instructions. Xu Lin thanked her and put the note in his pocket. His fingers brushed against something else inside.

He froze.

He took the medicine but stood still at the counter. The staff member asked, “Mr. Xu Lin, is there anything else?”

Xu Lin snapped out of it. “Oh.” He took his hand out of his pocket, opened his palm to reveal a white pill.

“Could you tell me what this is?”

The staff member took it, examined it for a few seconds, and asked, “Who is taking this?”

“A friend of mine. He asked me to find out.” Xu Lin kept a straight face as he lied. “He’s tight on money and can’t afford his medication. If you have it here, I could take some back to him.”

The staff member was moved. “You’re a good friend. Let me check. Please wait a moment.”

They went into the back room. Xu Lin waited at the counter.

About ten minutes later, the staff member returned with two boxes of medicine.

They handed them to Xu Lin. He looked at the labels and froze.

They explained, “This medication is quite expensive. It’s a prescription drug for pheromone disorders, usually prescribed for Alphas with gland damage, antibodies to suppressants, or those who have lost their partner and have no pheromones to soothe them.

“It’s effective, but it’s also highly toxic. Dosage must be strictly controlled. Overdosing can cause irreversible organ damage, and long-term use can be life-threatening. Unless absolutely necessary, we advise against taking it. If your friend’s condition is serious, they should see a doctor and take it under professional supervision. This drug is tightly regulated. I can’t give you much. Two boxes is the most I can do.”

Xu Lin was still dazed. After a few seconds, he pushed the medicine back. “Never mind. I don’t want to cause you trouble.”

The staff member smiled and pushed the boxes back to him. “It’s fine. Chief Ji said if you have any requests, we should do our best to accommodate you. You have special permission.”

Xu Lin was taken aback. “He said that?”

“Yes.” They said, “You and Chief Ji are so close. There’s no one more knowledgeable about this than him. If you want advice for your friend, you should ask him. I’m sure he’d give you better guidance.”

The two boxes ended up in his pocket.

When he got back to the dormitory, Xiao Zhao was already sitting on a bench downstairs, his backpack by his feet. Beside him stood Ji Jinxuan.

They were talking.

Xu Lin’s arrival interrupted them. Xiaozhao shouldered his bag and said to Xu Lin, “Ji-ge is seeing us off!”

Xu Lin said nothing, just nodded. He ignored the burning gaze Ji Jinxuan had fixed on him.

They took the same small plane back. Xiaozhao’s home was in District Ten. When they landed, Xu Lin called a taxi to take Xiaozhao home before heading back to District Thirteen.

At the airport exit, a yellow taxi waited by the curb. Xu Lin opened the door, and Xiaozhao slid into the back seat. Xu Lin got in beside him.

Ji Jinxuan stood by the car, not moving.

He had done his part. He should leave. There was no reason to follow them out here and linger.

Xiao Zhao noticed him and leaned out the window. “Ji-ge, do you want to come to my house?”

Xu Lin did not even have a chance to stop him.

And then Ji Jinxuan got into the car.

It was a small taxi, and he was tall. He folded his long legs into the dusty passenger seat, looking cramped and uncomfortable. He showed no sign of it.

Xiao Zhao’s home was on the fifth floor of an old apartment building. His mother had been discharged from the hospital. She was a beautiful Omega, but gaunt and frail, her face pale from a recent illness.

Xiao Zhao enthusiastically told her about his differentiation and introduced Xu Lin and Ji Jinxuan.

When she learned Ji Jinxuan had cured her son, she invited them to stay. Xu Lin politely declined, and she did not insist.

Xiao Zhao gave Xu Lin a tour of his room, showing him his toys, photos with his classmates, and a family portrait.

“I’m so glad I got to differentiate,” Xiao Zhao said.

Xu Lin patted his head and ruffled his hair.

Having safely delivered him, it was time for Xu Lin to leave.

As he came out of Xiao Zhao’s room, he saw the Omega on the balcony, talking to Ji Jinxuan. She was emotional, wiping away tears.

Ji Jinxuan said a few words, and she nodded repeatedly, her expression filled with unmistakable gratitude.

In a daze, her face overlapped with that of the Omega service worker from the hotel, all those years ago.

Xu Lin lowered his gaze, staring at the scratched wooden floor for a long time.

Leaving Xiao Zhao’s home, Xu Lin went to buy a boat ticket.

He stopped at the dock entrance and turned around. Ji Jinxuan was still following him.

“How long are you going to follow me?”

Ji Jinxuan did not answer.

The crowd bustled around them. They stood out, drawing glances from passersby.

“I’m going home. Don’t follow me.”

Ji Jinxuan stayed put.

Xu Lin took a few steps, stopped, and walked back to Ji Jinxuan. He pulled the two boxes of medicine from his pocket and pressed them into Ji Jinxuan’s hands.

Ji Jinxuan looked at the boxes and froze.

“What you need to do now is go back and get proper treatment. Don’t waste your time here. Don’t waste it on me. I helped you once. What makes you think I’ll always be there to help?”

Ji Jinxuan’s fingers dug into the boxes, nearly crushing them. “I wasn’t following you because I wanted your help.”

Xu Lin thought he understood why Zong Xi had cut ties with Ji Jinxuan for nearly a year.

Zong Xi and Ji Jinxuan had no conflicts of interest. Zong Xi had been the sole witness to their fake wedding. They were best friends. The only reason they would fall out was something Ji Jinxuan had done that disappointed Zong Xi so deeply he could not bear to speak to him.

After seeing Ji Jinxuan’s condition, it was clear.

His heat had come again soon after the last time. He wore the muzzle guard constantly. He took these highly toxic, side-effect-ridden drugs.

Xu Lin said, “Did Zong Xi stop talking to you because he was angry that you weren’t taking care of yourself? That you don’t care about your own health?”

Ji Jinxuan would not answer. Xu Lin turned and walked away.

“I’ll go die, then.”

He suddenly heard Ji Jinxuan say that. For a moment, Xu Lin thought he had misheard. He was furious—how dare he talk back like that?

He spun around, ready to shout, but saw the faint smile on Ji Jinxuan’s lips. It was gentle, almost peaceful, with no trace of anger. “You said that to me back then.”

The words caught in Xu Lin’s throat.

“What…” he stammered.

Ji Jinxuan smiled at him. “I thought, if I died, maybe you’d be a little happier. Maybe you’d forgive me a little.”

“If that’s the case, I can.”