Extra 4

Xu Lin suddenly received a call from Yi Wei.

Yi Wei had finished the New Year and, thinking they hadn’t seen each other in a while, invited Xu Lin to visit. Xu Lin had nothing else to do, so he agreed readily.

The next day, Yi Wei was waiting for him outside the dock.

His waving hand froze midair when he saw the person who had come with Xu Lin. Xu Lin walked up to him, but Yi Wei’s eyes were still fixed on the man behind him. He rubbed his eyes, then rubbed them again. When he confirmed he wasn’t seeing things, his mouth dropped open and refused to close.

Xu Lin was about to speak when Yi Wei grabbed him and pulled him several meters away. Lowering his voice, he pointed at Ji Jinxuan, who was standing quietly in the distance. “Ji Jinxuan?”

Xu Lin nodded.

Yi Wei’s jaw dropped further. “What’s he doing here?”

“He wanted to come, so I brought him along. Is that a problem?”

Is that a problem? How could he say it so casually! Yi Wei gripped Xu Lin’s arm, flustered. “Wait, how do you two even know each other? Why is he with you?”

In Yi Wei’s memory, Xu Lin and Ji Jinxuan had never had any interaction in school. How had they gotten so close after all these years? They looked like they got along well too.

He hadn’t heard a thing about this!

Ji Jinxuan was who he was. How could he possibly—

Yi Wei’s eyes darted between Xu Lin and Ji Jinxuan, until they landed on something astonishing. His eyes widened in shock.

He looked at Ji Jinxuan’s hand, then at Xu Lin’s.

They were wearing identical rings.

“Well, damn…”

Yi Wei found a café. It wasn’t too crowded. A soft piano piece played in the background, and the warm air was thick with the sweet, bitter scent of coffee.

They sat by the window. Yi Wei held his coffee cup, covering half his face, his round eyes watching the two people across from him.

Xu Lin took a sip of coffee and grimaced at the bitterness. Ji Jinxuan immediately took the cup from him and handed him a spoon. Xu Lin took it and scooped up a piece of cake, easing the bitter taste in his mouth. A few drops of coffee had splashed onto Xu Lin’s hand. Ji Jinxuan set down the cup and reached for a napkin, wiping Xu Lin’s hand clean. Xu Lin, focused on his cake, simply let his hand rest in Ji Jinxuan’s, as if their casual intimacy was the most natural thing in the world.

The whole sequence of actions was so practiced and seamless that Yi Wei felt a complicated knot form in his stomach.

Halfway through, Ji Jinxuan’s phone rang, and he stepped outside to take the call. Yi Wei finally had the chance to ask Xu Lin directly. “Okay, what’s going on with you two?” He pointed at the ring on Xu Lin’s finger. “Are you together? Like, together together?”

Xu Lin didn’t let Yi Wei’s stammering finish. “Yes.”

Yi Wei fell silent.

Xu Lin said, “We’re together.”

“My god.” Yi Wei pressed his palm to his forehead, looking utterly shell-shocked. “I still can’t believe this. Am I dreaming?” He rubbed his face, muttering, “My brother doesn’t stand a chance.”

“So, the rings—are you engaged? Or,” he gasped, “have you already gotten married?!”

Xu Lin bit his spoon, pausing. “Not yet.”

“Spill everything! Full confession, or else!”

Xu Lin mumbled, “It’s a long story. I’ll tell you another time.”

Yi Wei was about to press further when Ji Jinxuan returned from his call. With him back, Yi Wei had no choice but to swallow his questions.

Yi Wei and Ji Jinxuan weren’t close. This gathering was for him and Xu Lin, so he couldn’t exactly strike up a conversation with Ji Jinxuan. The three of them sat together, but only Yi Wei and Xu Lin talked. Ji Jinxuan was quiet the whole time, only speaking when Xu Lin spoke to him. His attention was entirely on Xu Lin.

Yi Wei fidgeted in his seat, as if he were sitting on pins and needles.

After a while, Yi Wei got up to pay, only to be told by the cashier that the bill had already been settled. Ji Jinxuan had paid when he’d come back from his call earlier.

Yi Wei stood by the counter, watching the two still chatting at the table. Ji Jinxuan said something, and Xu Lin smiled. At that smile, Ji Jinxuan smiled too. They looked surprisingly good together.

Xu Lin and Ji Jinxuan—together? They were the last two people anyone would expect. If someone had told Yi Wei this, he’d have assumed they were drunk. Something he couldn’t even imagine was somehow reality.

Outside the café, the warm air was replaced by a cold wind. Xu Lin shivered instinctively. Ji Jinxuan took the scarf off his arm and wrapped it around Xu Lin’s neck, covering his mouth and nose.

“Cold?”

“A little,” Xu Lin said.

Ji Jinxuan took Xu Lin’s hand, tucked it into his own coat pocket, and held it.

Yi Wei’s eyelid twitched. He’d originally planned to invite Xu Lin over to his place, but with Ji Jinxuan around, he settled for a rain check. “I’m heading home. It’s cold. You two should get back soon too. Let’s keep in touch.”

Xu Lin didn’t say much, just asked why Li Mu hadn’t come along today. Yi Wei said, “He went to District Ten.”

“To see Xiao Zhao.”

Yi Wei said goodbye and disappeared quickly. It was still early.

“Should we go back?” Ji Jinxuan asked, a hint of guilt in his voice. Xu Lin had come to catch up with an old classmate, but his presence had prevented them from properly talking.

Guilty as he was, if he had to choose between following Xu Lin out the door or staying alone in District Thirteen waiting for him to return, there was only one answer.

He didn’t want Xu Lin out of his sight.

Xu Lin, unaware of his scheming, thought for a moment. “Let’s go to District Ten too.”

They’d been to Xiao Zhao’s house before, so finding it again was easy. They knocked, and Xiao Zhao’s mother answered. Her face lit up when she saw them, and she quickly invited them in.

She was wearing an apron, clearly in the middle of cooking. In the kitchen, Xiao Zhao and Li Mu were helping out. Xiao Zhao had grown quickly, now nearly as tall as Li Mu’s chest.

Xiao Zhao turned at the noise, and when he saw them, broke into a wide grin. “Lin-ge! Ji-ge! What are you guys doing here!”

Li Mu also turned. His face brightened at the sight of Xu Lin, but when he saw Ji Jinxuan beside him, his smile froze.

On the balcony, Li Mu and Xu Lin were smoking. Through the glass door, Xiao Zhao’s mother was talking to Ji Jinxuan, and he was answering her questions.

“What brings you here?” Li Mu asked.

Xu Lin said, “I saw Yi Wei, and he mentioned you were here. I haven’t seen Xiao Zhao in a while, so I thought I’d drop by.”

Li Mu said, “After the captain died, I come here every year, to help out however I can. Now that Xiao Zhao’s health is better, I can rest a bit easier.”

“Xiao Zhao’s mother was just talking about Ji Jinxuan. She’s very grateful to him.”

Xu Lin was silent.

Li Mu took a deep drag and asked, “What about you and him?”

Xu Lin blinked. “What?”

Li Mu glanced at the ring on Xu Lin’s hand. “You and Ji Jinxuan—are you back together?”

Xu Lin’s fingers curled. He nodded. “Yeah.”

Li Mu was quiet for a moment. “Is that okay?”

Xu Lin smiled. “I used to ask myself the same question.” He leaned against the balcony railing, looking up at the sky. “I asked myself many times, but I never knew the answer. I hesitated for a long time. My mind was a complete mess.”

He exhaled, the breath misting in the cold air, obscuring his eyes.

“But now, I think it doesn’t matter whether it’s ‘okay’ or not.”

Li Mu watched Xu Lin’s profile, listening quietly.

“Back then, I thought he was dead. How to put it,” Xu Lin murmured, “he and I went through so much—too much to even know where to start. I might never sort it all out in this lifetime. I thought I hated him, but I couldn’t hate him completely. And naturally… I couldn’t love anyone else either.

“I felt like his death had hollowed me out. I didn’t know who I was anymore, didn’t know if I should wake up the next day. Every time I opened my eyes or closed them, I saw him. Only then did I understand that the pain of hating him was nothing compared to the endless despair of a life without him.”

The cigarette burned down to his finger. Li Mu licked his lips and stubbed it out.

Xu Lin exhaled in relief. “I do hate him… but I also love him. I can’t lie to myself.”

He sighed. “Ji Jinxuan is different. He’s my exception. I’ve hated him, and he’s atoned. I chose to forgive him. What’s past is past. I’m not bringing it up again. So whether it’s ‘okay’ or not doesn’t matter anymore.”

A knock came at the glass door. Xiao Zhao was standing there. Xu Lin stubbed out his cigarette, patted the smoke off his clothes, and slid the door open. “What’s up?”

“Are you and Ji-ge staying for dinner? It’s almost ready! I asked Ji-ge, and he said it’s up to you.”

Xu Lin looked up and met Ji Jinxuan’s gaze across the room. They held eye contact for two seconds. Then Xu Lin ruffled Xiao Zhao’s hair. “We’ll stay for dinner. Sorry for the intrusion.”

“Not at all!”

Xiao Zhao went back to the kitchen to help his mother. Li Mu left after their chat to buy the drinks Xiao Zhao had specifically asked for. The living room was left with just Ji Jinxuan and Xu Lin.

Ji Jinxuan rubbed Xu Lin’s cold-reddened ears, warming them with his palms. “What were you two talking about?”

“Want to know?” Xu Lin asked.

Ji Jinxuan nodded honestly.

Xu Lin said, “I’ll tell you when we get home tonight.”

Dinner lasted a few hours. It was fully dark by the time they left. Li Mu was staying over at Xiao Zhao’s, so Xu Lin and Ji Jinxuan headed back.

They walked through the streets of District Ten, passing by a row of lively shops with colorful neon lights. They followed a quiet path, and before long, the sound of crashing waves reached them. They had arrived at the beach.

Xu Lin realized he’d been following Ji Jinxuan blindly, not paying attention to where they were going. How had they ended up here? There were no taxis around.

The sea wind hit them, and Xu Lin shrank into his collar. Ji Jinxuan took off his coat and draped it over Xu Lin’s shoulders. Now he was even more thinly dressed than Xu Lin.

“You don’t have to—you’ll catch cold.”

Ji Jinxuan wouldn’t let him take it off, pressing it down firmly. Xu Lin thought he was acting strange, but couldn’t put his finger on why.

Ji Jinxuan checked his watch and said, “Let’s walk along the shore.”

It was dark, cold, and nearly deserted. If they were going for a walk, why not pick a warmer place? But Ji Jinxuan was insistent, so Xu Lin gave in.

They descended the steps and stepped onto the soft sand.

They walked aimlessly for a while.

“Xu Lin,” Ji Jinxuan said suddenly.

“What?”

Ji Jinxuan’s palm was slick with sweat as he held Xu Lin’s hand. Xu Lin noticed the dampness. “Are you hot? Or feeling unwell?”

He reached for the back of Ji Jinxuan’s neck, but Ji Jinxuan caught his hand.

Ji Jinxuan took a deep breath, as if he were nervous. Before Xu Lin could ask what was wrong, he dropped to one knee.

Xu Lin’s breath caught.

Ji Jinxuan pulled something from his pocket and opened it, holding it out to Xu Lin. His hand was trembling slightly.

In his palm was an open velvet box. Inside lay a brand-new silver ring.

Boom—

A cascade of colors exploded on the horizon. The dark beach was suddenly bathed in dazzling light. Fireworks filled the night sky, illuminating the two figures standing on the sand.

Xu Lin stared up at the sky, stunned. When he looked back down at Ji Jinxuan, he was still kneeling. His expression was serious, his eyes betraying his anxiety, but he never looked away from Xu Lin’s face.

He opened his mouth, but the words he’d rehearsed had vanished into thin air. Ji Jinxuan was clumsy, like a child learning to walk, stumbling and falling, getting up again with a bloody forehead, but still charging forward, stubborn and determined.

Xu Lin looked into his eyes. They were glistening. Finally, he found his voice.

“Xu Lin.”

“Thank you for forgiving me. For staying by my side. For letting me love you.”

“Please let me spend the rest of my life with you. I’ll never lie again. I won’t let Xu Lin shed another tear.”

“I want to be with you, forever.”

There was so much more he wanted to say, but in the end, he couldn’t find the words.

Under the fireworks, Ji Jinxuan spoke, his voice steady and earnest. “Mr. Xu Lin, will you marry me?”

The wind was cold, but Xu Lin didn’t feel it anymore. He looked at Ji Jinxuan for so long that Ji Jinxuan grew anxious and restless. As the fireworks began to fade, Xu Lin slowly extended his hand.

He held it out in front of Ji Jinxuan.

Ji Jinxuan just stared, frozen in place.

Xu Lin raised an eyebrow, his face breaking into a bright smile. “Put it on me. What are you waiting for?”

The cool ring slid onto his ring finger, resting beside the one already there. Ji Jinxuan rose, smiling, and pulled Xu Lin into an embrace. Xu Lin hugged him back and could feel the sweat soaking through his shirt under his jacket.

He was that nervous.

“Did you ever think about what you’d do if I said no?” Xu Lin asked.

Ji Jinxuan said, “I’d try a second time. And a third.”

“What if I kept saying no?”

“I’d keep trying.”

They held each other, watching the fireworks bloom above them.

“When did you plan all this?” Xu Lin asked, examining the ring on his finger. He remembered the phone call Ji Jinxuan had stepped out to take at the café.

Well played. So it was premeditated.

Xu Lin looked at the ring and laughed. Then he lifted his head and pressed a soft kiss to Ji Jinxuan’s chin.

When Ji Jinxuan looked at him, Xu Lin said, “Thank you, Xuan-ge.”

Ji Jinxuan froze. For a second, his face twisted between a smile and a sob.

Then, without warning, he grabbed Xu Lin’s waist and tugged him forward.

Xu Lin stumbled, almost falling, but Ji Jinxuan caught him steady.

“Why are you in such a rush?” Xu Lin asked.

“Let’s go home,” Ji Jinxuan said.

“Home. We need to plan a wedding.”