Chapter 69: I’m sorry

A 93% compatibility score. Between an Alpha and an Omega, the implication was clear.

Li Mu’s face flushed red from all the teasing, practically dripping with embarrassment.

Xu Lin stood frozen, the enthusiastic reactions of those around him making him uncomfortable.

Li Mu’s face burned. He had been smiling awkwardly until he caught a glimpse of Xu Lin’s expression. He paused. A few seconds later, he waved off the people joking with him. “Alright, alright, enough prying. Go do your own work.”

Li Mu’s smile suddenly faded. When he was serious, his expression was stern, and the crowd gradually dispersed.

Once most of them were gone, Li Mu walked over to Xu Lin and handed him his form, speaking softly. “They’re just joking. Don’t take it seriously.”

Xu Lin took the form without speaking. Li Mu added, “Who you choose is your right. The answer I want, you can take your time to think about. There’s no rush.”

Xu Lin’s head dropped lower at those words.

“Think about what?”

A cold voice came from behind them.

They both turned. Ji Jinxuan stood with his hands in his pockets, clearly having overheard their conversation. A smile played on his lips.

But if one looked closely, his eyes were not smiling.

Interrupting someone else’s conversation was hardly polite. And Ji Jinxuan might as well have been eavesdropping.

Li Mu was displeased that his private conversation with Xu Lin had been overheard. He was always direct, so he asked plainly, “Chief Ji, were you eavesdropping?”

“Just passing by.” Ji Jinxuan remained composed. “And I happened to overhear.”

His gaze slid to Xu Lin’s face, watching him. “Just curious.”

Before Li Mu could respond, Xu Lin said, “It’s just some personal matters. No need for you to concern yourself, Chief Ji.” He turned to Li Mu. “Li-ge, let’s go.”

Watching Xu Lin and Li Mu walk away side by side, the smile on Ji Jinxuan’s lips faded and pressed into a thin line. Inside his pocket, the back of his hand bled freely, staining the entire glove red.

Night fell.

Suddenly, rain began to pour.

Xu Lin had just showered and gone to the small shop in the barracks for cigarettes. On his way back to the dormitory, the rain started. To avoid getting wet again, he took shelter under an eave.

He leaned against the wall, watching the rain drip steadily from the edge. The sky had darkened considerably. He tilted his head back, staring at the curtain of rain for a long time, the earthy scent of wet soil filling the air.

After a while, he lowered his head, pulled out a cigarette, and put it between his lips. He fumbled somewhat urgently through his pants pockets.

[“The answer I want, you can take your time to think about.”]

Li Mu’s words echoed unbidden in his mind.

Xu Lin patted both pockets and realized he had not brought a lighter.

He could not smoke. Frustrated, he ran a hand through his hair. He bit down on the filter, leaving it wet with teeth marks.

Click.

From the corner of his eye, he caught a faint spark of light.

He turned. At the corner of the eave, a small red ember glowed, white smoke dissipating into the air. The scent of tobacco reached his nose.

He was not alone here.

Xu Lin brightened and walked over without thinking. “Hey, can I borrow your—”

Rounding the corner, he found Ji Jinxuan with a lit cigarette between his lips, looking back at him.

The word “lighter” died in his throat.

They stared at each other.

Damn. What rotten luck. Of all people, why him?

Xu Lin was about to step back when Ji Jinxuan said hoarsely, “You’ll get wet.”

Xu Lin stopped.

Ji Jinxuan raised his hand, bringing the lighter toward the cigarette in Xu Lin’s mouth. He seemed to be offering to light it. Xu Lin watched his hand draw closer but, for some reason, did not move.

Click, click.

It would not light. The lighter was not working.

So Ji Jinxuan leaned in, pressing the tip of his cigarette against Xu Lin’s. A few seconds later, the taste of tobacco filled Xu Lin’s mouth.

The cigarette was lit. Ji Jinxuan pulled back to a safe distance.

Xu Lin took a couple of drags, feeling dazed. The scene was so familiar—like that rainy day years ago, back when they were the only two under that bridge.

The rain kept falling.

They smoked in silence, neither speaking first. As if they were just waiting for the rain to stop.

“I heard,” Ji Jinxuan said, holding his cigarette between his fingers, not looking at Xu Lin. “You and that Alpha have high compatibility.”

Xu Lin ignored him.

“He likes you, doesn’t he.”

It was not a question. It was a statement.

Xu Lin lowered his gaze.

He had learned that Li Mu liked him a few months ago. That day, Li Mu had suddenly confessed to him, catching him completely off guard.

Xu Lin had been stunned speechless. Before that, he had never considered the possibility. He had thought he and Li Mu were just good brothers, and always would be. The confession had truly startled him. He did not know how to answer.

Li Mu had not pressed for an answer. He had given Xu Lin all the time he needed.

The next day, Li Mu acted as if nothing had happened, treating him the same as always. Xu Lin knew he could not drag this out. He needed to give Li Mu an answer. But every time he tried to speak, it was like a stone lodged in his throat.

Now, with this compatibility result, it only added to the complication.

Without a doubt, Li Mu was a good Alpha. He would be a devoted partner. Life should move forward. Xu Lin had always believed that.

But after everything he had been through, Xu Lin felt he might not be ready for another close relationship. If he agreed to be with Li Mu just because it seemed right, it would be irresponsible to himself and unfair to Li Mu.

Besides—

Xu Lin glanced at the person beside him. The moment his face turned, Ji Jinxuan seemed to sense his gaze and looked back. Their eyes met.

Besides, the person who should have stayed in the past, never to be seen again, had come chasing after him. With that unwavering look in his eyes.

How could he think of anything else?

He should refuse. But he had not found the right time, the right words. He wanted to let Li Mu down gently, without hurting him or changing their relationship. He had hesitated, and the delay had stretched on.

The cigarette ash burned his finger, snapping him back to reality.

“Yes,” Xu Lin finally answered Ji Jinxuan, looking away.

“What does he want you to think about?” Ji Jinxuan’s tone was casual, as if asking what he had for dinner.

“He wants me to be with him.”

Ji Jinxuan was silent for a moment. “Will you?”

“Who I’m with,” Xu Lin said with a sneer, “what business is it of yours? Why would I tell you?”

Ji Jinxuan took the cigarette from his lips and held it between his fingers. He licked his lips. “If you don’t want to, you should stay away from an Alpha with high compatibility. Pheromones can override an Omega’s instincts. You might—”

Xu Lin flicked his cigarette away. It fell into the rain, the ember extinguished.

“Might what? Be controlled like a mindless animal?” His voice was cold, his brow furrowed as he faced Ji Jinxuan. “Haven’t I already been through that?”

Ji Jinxuan was stunned.

“Don’t you know whose fault it is that I’m like this now?”

Ji Jinxuan’s throat bobbed, as if the words had wounded him. He straightened, facing Xu Lin. “That’s not what I meant—”

“I’m sorry.” He said it.

“I’ve heard that enough. If a single ‘sorry’ could erase a mistake, it would be the cheapest word in the world.” Xu Lin turned his back. “I’m doing well now. I want to forget everything that happened before. If you see me in the future, treat me like a stranger. I don’t want anything more to do with you.”

Xu Lin could not stay any longer. He stepped into the rain, heading back to the dormitory. He had barely taken half a step when his wrist was suddenly grabbed from behind.

He flinched and yanked his hand away violently.

Ji Jinxuan’s hand was knocked back, hitting the wall with a thud. A faint flicker of pain crossed his brow, and then he hid his right hand behind his back.

“You don’t have to go,” he said.

“If you don’t want to see me, I’ll leave. Don’t get caught in the rain.”

Ji Jinxuan brushed past Xu Lin and walked into the rain.

Xu Lin stood under the eave for a while, growing more agitated. Then he caught a scent in the air. He looked around, then down. A dark trail marked the ground.

Was it rain? It did not look like it.

It was too dark to see clearly, so he crouched down for a closer look. His eyes widened in disbelief.

It was blood.

Right where Ji Jinxuan had been standing. Drop after drop, trailing into the rain.

It was coming from Ji Jinxuan.

Soaked to the bone, Ji Jinxuan returned to the clinic.

He sat down in his chair, leaned back, and tilted his head up. The room was dark. Rain pelted the window, and his heartbeat was more chaotic than the sound of the rain.

He turned his head and saw two sheets of paper spread across the desk.

Xu Lin and Li Mu’s pheromone compatibility report.

93%.

Ninety-three…

Ji Jinxuan clenched his fist and took a deep breath. Suddenly, he stood up, enraged, and swept everything off the desk with a violent arm.

He braced himself on the desk, panting, still not satisfied. One by one, he pulled the cabinets to the floor. The crashing echoes filled the quiet night. Medicine bottles and syringes scattered everywhere. He kicked at the obstacles on the floor, not aiming at anything in particular, just venting without reason.

Suddenly, he tripped over something. He staggered, his back hitting the wall with a dull thud.

Then he laughed. Like a madman, he laughed wildly, breathless.

The laughter stopped. He fell silent.

He tore off the blood-soaked glove, kissed the ring on his ring finger tenderly, then removed it and slipped it onto his left hand.

His gaze dropped to a shard of broken glass on the floor.

Xu Lin had just reached the clinic when he heard a series of explosions from the corridor. The sounds were continuous, like someone was smashing things violently.

He followed the trail of blood to the clinic door.

The noise inside suddenly stopped.

When a normal person saw someone bleeding, they would ask. He was not worried about Ji Jinxuan. He would do the same for anyone.

Xu Lin closed his eyes, took a few deep breaths at the door, and pushed it open.

Click.

He turned on the light.

The room was a wreck, impossible to step into. The entire clinic looked like it had been ransacked—cabinets, tables, chairs all overturned. Xu Lin was stunned by the chaos. He looked up and saw a figure sitting against the wall.

Ji Jinxuan sat there, completely disregarding his appearance, soaked and dripping water, his hair falling over his eyes. His right hand rested on the floor, a long shard of glass piercing clean through it.

Blood pooled beneath him.

Hearing the door open, Ji Jinxuan blinked his wet lashes and looked over, his eyes unfocused. It took a few seconds for them to sharpen.

He saw Xu Lin’s stunned, horrified expression.

Recognizing who it was, Ji Jinxuan did not hesitate. He pulled the glass from his hand and hid his right hand behind his back. Xu Lin saw the blood spray clearly.

“I’m sorry.”

Ji Jinxuan stood up, bracing against the wall, leaving bloody smears behind. He remembered and hid his right hand, then suddenly remembered the ring on his left hand and frantically tried to hide that too.

He was flustered.

Facing the silent Xu Lin, he did not know what to say. Afraid Xu Lin might be angry, he kept repeating, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry.”