Chapter 44: The shattered rainbow

When Ji Jinxuan returned, the guest room was empty.

Xu Lin was not there.

He went back to the master bedroom. The door was slightly ajar. When he pushed it open, the scene inside was completely different from when he had left.

Utter chaos.

The once spotless room looked as if it had been ransacked. Things were knocked over everywhere.

The sheets and duvet had been ripped off and thrown on the floor. Every drawer that could be opened was pulled out. The calendar marked with red crosses had been torn to shreds, scattered across the floor like snowflakes.

On the floor beside the bed lay the wedding photo that had hung above the headboard. The glass frame had been struck from the center and shattered, shards scattered everywhere. Cracks like a spider web spread across the faces of the two people in the picture, creating an irreparable rift between Xu Lin and Ji Jinxuan.

It had not been dropped. It had been stomped on.

Ji Jinxuan looked around for Xu Lin, but his foot suddenly stepped on something.

He looked down. His pupils contracted sharply.

It was a ring.

The ring Xu Lin had worn for six years.

Ji Jinxuan picked it up. The tiny ring felt as heavy as a thousand pounds, weighing down his hand so much he could barely lift it. For no reason, a panic began to rise in his heart.

Just then, he heard a buzzing sound coming from the bathroom.

He walked in. The first thing he saw was the severed black hair scattered on the floor. It was Xu Lin’s hair, which he had kept for six years. Because Ji Jinxuan had asked him to keep it long, he had not cut a single inch all these years.

In the bathtub, Xu Lin lay with his head tilted back, eyes closed, looking comfortable. He had shaved his head again, down to a crew cut, just like when he had first come from District Thirteen to Dan City.

On the floor lay an electric shaver, still buzzing.

Ji Jinxuan suddenly felt afraid to look at him. He picked up the shaver and turned it off.

From the moment Ji Jinxuan had entered, Xu Lin had not looked at him once.

“Xu Lin?”

Ji Jinxuan walked to the edge of the bathtub. There was no water in it. He did not understand why Xu Lin was lying there. He reached out to pull him up. “Why are you lying here?”

But before he could touch him, Xu Lin’s eyes snapped open. The cold, hateful look in them made Ji Jinxuan stop in his tracks. His hand froze, then slowly withdrew.

Xu Lin had never looked at him that way before. Even when he had learned about the engagement, Xu Lin had only been angry and sad. Never, like this, filled with pure hostility.

“Was it fun?”

Ji Jinxuan froze.

Xu Lin asked again, “Did you enjoy yourself these six years?”

Ji Jinxuan’s heart sank. But he kept his expression unchanged, trying to stay calm. “What are you talking about?”

Seeing that Ji Jinxuan was still pretending, Xu Lin stared at his face with cold indifference.

After a moment, he lost interest. Arguing was pointless. He had said enough to Ji Jinxuan over these six years.

“You really are a fine actor, Young Master Ji. What a pity you didn’t become an actor.”

“What?”

Xu Lin glanced at the ring on Ji Jinxuan’s finger and said mockingly, “You don’t need to keep wearing a make-believe ring.”

He was so tired. He had no energy, no time left to waste on someone who had been playing him from start to finish.

“Consider these past years my bad luck. Anyway, my face is almost healed. Let me go home.”

If Ji Jinxuan had still held onto any hope before, when Xu Lin said this, he understood everything.

Xu Lin knew.

He knew the origin of this marriage. The beginning of the lie. Ji Jinxuan had hidden it for so long, trembling with fear. It was not that he had never thought of confessing to Xu Lin. But every time he imagined the words leaving his mouth, and Xu Lin possibly hating him, rejecting him—the thought of losing Xu Lin’s love terrified him into silence.

He had always thought that when the time was right, he would slowly explain everything to Xu Lin.

But now, the thing he feared most had been discovered by Xu Lin without any warning.

At the worst possible time.

Ji Jinxuan gritted his teeth, his fingers suddenly clenching into fists, the ring in his palm nearly digging into his flesh.

Who had told him?

Who had approached Xu Lin without his knowledge?

Xu Lin waited silently for Ji Jinxuan’s reply.

Now that the truth was out, he could not think of any reason Ji Jinxuan would have to keep him here. If he offered to leave, it would be a happy ending for everyone. And he could still salvage the last shred of his dignity.

Just thinking about how he had once, like a fool, questioned Ji Jinxuan, asking why others had what he did not, why he could not be valued the same way as that Omega, made his face burn with shame. His pride had been trampled under Ji Jinxuan’s feet, stomped on for six years, and he had been happily oblivious the entire time.

What right did he have to question? What right did he have to compare himself to a noble Omega? Utterly delusional.

When Ji Jinxuan heard him asking those questions, had he secretly found him laughable? Laughable that a Beta from District Thirteen would dare to think he deserved the same status and treatment as a capital Omega?

He and Ji Jinxuan had never stood on equal ground. Not before, not ever. Even sleeping in the same bed, holding each other from night till dawn, even when their bodies were inseparable, they had never truly understood each other.

Or rather, he had thought he understood Ji Jinxuan.

But it was all just an act from Ji Jinxuan.

He was the one who had been foolish, blind, and laughably naive.

He had taken a lie for sincerity. He had mistaken this place—where he did not belong—for home.

He had mistaken Ji Jinxuan, who had never given him a single sincere feeling, for the love of his remaining years.

“Xu Lin,” Ji Jinxuan stood there in silence for a long time before finally speaking. “It’s not like that. Listen to me—”

Xu Lin did not want to listen anymore. He never wanted to listen again. There were too many lies in Ji Jinxuan’s mouth. He did not want to waste any more effort trying to guess which were true and which were false.

“Because I got hurt saving you, you didn’t want to owe a Beta a favor. And because you knew I liked you, you went through a fake marriage with me, using that as an excuse to keep me in Danshi. Am I right?”

Ji Jinxuan could not speak. “…”

Fortunately, Xu Lin did not need him to answer. He continued, “You kept me in Danshi because you wanted to fix my face.

“And once my face was healed, you would send me back home. That way, your debt to me would be repaid. Did I get anything wrong?

“You married me not because you liked me too, but because of the scar on my face.

“From the very beginning, you had no feelings for me at all.

“You made me live here alone. The coldness, the rejection—you did all of that on purpose, didn’t you?”

He threw question after question at Ji Jinxuan, whose lips opened and closed as if he had gone mute, unable to defend himself.

That was as good as a confession.

A confession that everything Xu Lin had said was the truth.

“Heh.” Xu Lin curled the corners of his mouth upward. He let out a long, slow breath.

His voice was as faint as a mosquito’s hum, yet it sounded like a silent sob, “How could you do this to me, Ji Jinxuan.

“How could you treat me this way.”

This was the first time in Xu Lin’s life that he had loved someone so deeply. And yet, in the end, the outcome was so tragic he could not even cry.

Looking back, all he saw was absurdity.

This villa—he had lived here happily for six years. Every corner was familiar. He could still see the fragments of memories, the traces of their life together, bit by bit.

Were those happy memories also fake?

“Didn’t I tell you? I told you back then,” Xu Lin’s voice bled with anguish, his eyes bloodshot. “I told you, you didn’t owe me anything. I told you I didn’t care about the scar on my face. I told you it was just an accident. I didn’t need you to compensate me.

“I SAID ALL OF THAT! WHY DID YOU NOT LISTEN TO A SINGLE WORD?!

“YOU SELF-RIGHTEOUSLY TRAPPED ME HERE TO REPAY YOUR SO-CALLED DEBT, AND YOU EVEN MADE UP SUCH A RIDICULOUS LIE TO TRICK ME! WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU TAKE ME FOR?! DID YOU ENJOY WATCHING ME MAKE A FOOL OF MYSELF?!”

Ji Jinxuan dared not meet Xu Lin’s eyes. Silently, he pulled him up from the bathtub. Despite Xu Lin’s struggles, Ji Jinxuan dragged him up by the arm. Furious, Xu Lin slapped him across the face. Ji Jinxuan showed no reaction. He hoisted Xu Lin over his shoulder and carried him out of the bathroom.

The master bedroom was in such disarray that there was nowhere to step. He carried Xu Lin to the guest room and laid him on the bed.

“GET AWAY!”

Xu Lin did not want to touch anything in this place. The moment his body touched the sheets, he tried to get up. Ji Jinxuan held him down, looking flustered. He reached for something on the nightstand.

Only then did Xu Lin see it. A box of strawberries.

Back when Pu Sha’s strawberries had been thrown away, Ji Jinxuan had brought him a box of strawberries to cheer him up.

Ji Jinxuan washed a strawberry and held it to Xu Lin’s lips. The strawberry touched his mouth. Xu Lin opened his mouth—but instead of taking the fruit, he bit down hard on Ji Jinxuan’s hand.

He showed no mercy. His teeth sank into the flesh, drawing blood. Ji Jinxuan did not pull away. He let Xu Lin bite.

Xu Lin bit until his cheeks ached, then let go. On Ji Jinxuan’s hand was a bloody tooth mark.

Xu Lin picked up the strawberry that had fallen onto the sheet and hurled it away with all his strength. It hit the floor with a heavy thud, splattering into a red mess on the carpet.

He asked, “Have you had enough fun?”

Xu Lin’s lips were stained with Ji Jinxuan’s blood, bright red.

“Six years. Have you had enough fun yet?” Xu Lin grabbed Ji Jinxuan by the collar and yanked him close.

They were inches apart, their noses almost touching. Xu Lin’s voice was hoarse, “I don’t want to play with you anymore. I’ve had enough of you. Isn’t me leaving now exactly what you wanted? Isn’t that what you planned from the beginning? So what are you doing now?”

Ji Jinxuan looked at him and said, “You can’t leave.”

“Why?” Xu Lin did not understand his stubbornness. After a few seconds, he saw his own reflection in Ji Jinxuan’s pupils. He thought of the most likely reason. “What, is it because my face isn’t fully healed yet? Because your debt hasn’t been fully repaid?”

“…”

The scar on Xu Lin’s face should have been healed long ago. But then Qin Yu had suddenly disappeared, and the old doctor who replaced him had not treated him properly, leaving the scar on his face all this time.

Now that he thought about it, Qin Yu’s sudden disappearance was most likely Ji Jinxuan’s doing as well. Why? What was the point of all this back-and-forth? Was it fun to toy with people?

Xu Lin said, “Fine. Then call Doctor Qin back. Let him treat me. Once it’s healed, send me away. Will that satisfy you?”

Ji Jinxuan was not satisfied.

“I,” Ji Jinxuan said, “was wrong to lie to you. It’s my fault.

“I’m sorry. But…” Ji Jinxuan reached out and took Xu Lin’s wrist. He actually looked sincere, with a hint of naive helplessness. “I don’t not like you.”

Xu Lin let out a soft laugh and asked, “Is that so? You like me?”

Ji Jinxuan nodded. “Yes…”

Xu Lin slapped him across the cheek.

The sharp crack made Ji Jinxuan’s ears ring.

“I’m so moved.” Xu Lin asked, “And now? Do you still like me?”

Ji Jinxuan looked at Xu Lin.

In that moment, he knew that Xu Lin would never believe him again.

Ji Jinxuan locked all the doors and windows tightly. Xu Lin could not get out. Seeing that Xu Lin did not want to look at him, Ji Jinxuan washed the strawberries and placed them by his bedside, then returned to the master bedroom to clean up.

He picked up the wedding photo from the floor. The frame was cracked and unusable. He took the photo out, holding the light piece of paper in his hands.

He stared at Xu Lin in the picture.

Even with such severe burns on his face, Xu Lin was still smiling so brightly.

He had grown up hard in a desolate place. No matter how harsh the environment, no matter what wounds he suffered in the wind and rain, he remained as vigorous as a wild weed that would never die.

That wild weed had later been held in Ji Jinxuan’s hands. It had bloomed beside him, leaning on him, trusting him. But now, Ji Jinxuan had not taken good care of that flower. It had withered. And the wild weed was leaving. It stood tall again, still as resilient as ever, able to survive without anyone.

Ji Jinxuan’s fingers traced Xu Lin’s face in the photo.

Six years had passed, and Xu Lin’s appearance had not changed at all.

The burns on his face had faded day by day, leaving only a single scar.

Now that the scar was almost gone, Xu Lin’s love was about to disappear too.

“It looks like a rainbow.” One night, a long time ago, Xu Lin had said this to him.

At that time, Xu Lin’s face had been full of smiles. He had pointed at the stained-glass window behind them in the photo.

“This window. It looks just like a rainbow.”

When he said that, his eyes had been sparkling, brimming with love for Ji Jinxuan and hope for their future.

But now, the glass was shattered.

And the rainbow was shattered too.