Chapter 40 – I wanted to see you

Translator: Abo Dammen

Teacher Chi, I was wrong. Teacher Chi, teach me.

Fu Nan’an’s voice was very low, but his actions brooked no refusal. He held Chi Zhao down on the nearby sofa, pressing his hands above his head. His scorching breath fell against Chi Zhao’s neck.

It was too hot. Chi Zhao’s heart instantly melted. Who could resist an older man acting coquettishly like this? Chi Zhao had been full of grievances, but now his mind was a complete blank, leaving only a heart beating violently. He didn’t want to think about anything and couldn’t think about anything. A tingling, numb sensation transmitted through every nerve. Chi Zhao felt he was about to turn into a puddle of water.

Unwilling to be so bewitched, Chi Zhao pretended to be angry, putting on a false front. “When did we start dating? How come I didn’t know?”

“Mmm. We haven’t started yet,” Fu Nan’an went along with his words, kissing his jaw stickily, licking, nibbling. “Let me chase you, okay?”

Chi Zhao didn’t speak, his mind in a chaotic buzz from the kisses, utterly at a loss for words. So Fu Nan’an said over and over in his ear, “Let me pursue you.”

He said, “I want to chase you, Teacher Chi.”

This was too seductive. Fu Nan’an’s skin was hot, his kisses were hot. The burning kisses pressed against his skin, and Chi Zhao almost instantly had a physical reaction.

As blood rushed downwards, the bulge that rose between his legs pressed against the place where their bodies met. Chi Zhao was truly embarrassed. He arched his back, wanting to escape, but Fu Nan’an directly reached out and touched there.

Professor Fu didn’t find this shameful at all. His hand, over the fabric of the trousers, slowly rubbed Chi Zhao. His voice was hoarse. “Give me a chance, Teacher Chi. Let me help you.”

It was like a question, and also like a temptation. Clearly an interrogative tone, yet it was impossible to refuse. Unwilling to refuse and unable to refuse. The low, husky voice fell on his ear, and Chi Zhao felt the very tips of his ears were about to catch fire.

It was an utterly wondrous feeling. The person before him, diligently trying to please him, was the one he had yearned for for far too long. The moment their skin touched, Chi Zhao completely crumbled.

It was Professor Fu’s first relationship, but he was striving to make Chi Zhao feel good. His fingers were calloused. As he pleasured Chi Zhao like this, Chi Zhao had nowhere to hide. In the end, when the sofa was a wet mess, Fu Nan’an wiped the substance from his skin and asked him, “Did you like that?”

Chi Zhao’s face was thoroughly red. Any remaining temper was gone. No one could withstand Professor Fu being this seductive. Chi Zhao’s Adam’s apple bobbed, and he finally said in a muffled voice, “…I liked it.”

I like it.

I like you the most.

They weren’t prepared with supplies, so they didn’t go all the way. Fu Nan’an hadn’t intended to go that far so quickly either. After helping Chi Zhao finish, they showered and went to bed. Chi Zhao wanted to help him too, but Fu Nan’an didn’t let him, only taking care of himself in the bathroom. When he said he would chase Chi Zhao, he meant it seriously. Anyone would tire after a one-sided pursuit for so long. Fu Nan’an understood Chi Zhao’s grievances.

Professor Fu was indeed a good student. From that day on, he took the initiative.

A doctor’s work is very busy, but Fu Nan’an made time to ask Chi Zhao out every week. Sometimes it was to a restaurant, sometimes to places where they could relax. The locations were all chosen by him, just like when Chi Zhao used to pick restaurants before. Each time, he would carefully read reviews and analyze them.

At this point, the dynamic between them had completely reversed. Before, Chi Zhao was always the active one, the one hurrying and chasing after things. Now, Fu Nan’an was taking the initiative, and Chi Zhao was completely in the role of the one being pursued. Occasionally, he would put on a bit of a show, politely refusing a couple of times, saying he was busy today, or it wasn’t convenient, but it was actually because he felt bad for Fu Nan’an and didn’t want him running back and forth. Love is mutual. Before, Fu Nan’an controlled the pace of the relationship. But now, the initiative was entirely with Chi Zhao, yet both found it interesting.

Another month passed, the weather grew thoroughly hot, and they entered June, the time for Chi Zhao to graduate. The graduation ceremony was held at the school. Chi Zhao sent Fu Nan’an a message, asking if he wanted to come to his graduation ceremony. After a while, Fu Nan’an’s reply came through.

[I want to come, Teacher Chi.]

“Teacher” is a special form of address, conveying respect and affection, with a natural sense of intimacy hidden within. Ever since he called him ‘Teacher Chi’ during that apology, Fu Nan’an often used this address. Professor Fu truly knew exactly how to tug at Teacher Chi’s heartstrings. Saying it in a soft voice, no matter how hard-hearted you were, you’d soften.

Besides, Chi Zhao was never hard-hearted to begin with. His heart had long been warmed soft by Fu Nan’an.

Chi Zhao replied: [Permission granted.]

[Thank you, Teacher Chi.]

The graduation ceremony was indeed a big deal, signifying that one’s life was about to enter a new stage. Chi Zhao was naturally happy that Fu Nan’an could attend his graduation ceremony. Who knew it would coincide with Fu Nan’an having to attend a conference out of town?

He estimated he could only rush back on the day of the ceremony itself. Chi Zhao couldn’t bear the thought of Fu Nan’an rushing back and forth.

“Professor, maybe you shouldn’t come. It’s really not that big of a deal anyway. It’s just taking some photos and listening to a speech, then it’s over,” Chi Zhao said, genuinely concerned for Fu Nan’an. Ever since the project passed, Fu Nan’an had been so busy he could barely find his bearings.

Fu Nan’an agreed verbally, but on the day itself, he still rushed over.

When he received Fu Nan’an’s call, Chi Zhao was stunned for a moment. When they met, Fu Nan’an was still carrying his luggage. Chi Zhao hurriedly went up to take it from him. “Professor, why did you come? Didn’t I tell you not to?”

“How could I not come for our Xiao Chi’s graduation?” Fu Nan’an was still wearing his suit, clearly having come directly from the airport. He was holding a bouquet of flowers, which he solemnly presented to Chi Zhao. “Happy graduation, Chi Zhao.”

The heavy bouquet was placed in his hands. Chi Zhao’s heart truly ached for him. Looking closer, he could see faint dark circles under Fu Nan’an’s eyes.

Chi Zhao held the bouquet with one hand and grasped Fu Nan’an’s hand with the other, his heart aching to the point of anxiety. “Rushing over in such a hurry… are you doing this on purpose to make me feel bad?”

Fu Nan’an, not wanting him to worry, went along with his words, “Mmm, I’m doing it on purpose.”

“You think acting like this will make me agree to be with you?” Chi Zhao said angrily, pulling his hand away. “Don’t even think about it.”

“I wasn’t thinking that,” Fu Nan’an said good-naturedly, taking his hand back into his own. “I just wanted to see you.”

He was only saying it with his mouth.

While Chi Zhao’s words were fierce and he acted unwilling to let Fu Nan’an off easily, in reality, once he was holding Fu Nan’an’s hand again, he refused to let go.

Fu Nan’an, worried that Chi Zhao was genuinely angry, stroked the back of Chi Zhao’s hand with his thumb, trying to change their hand-holding position. But Chi Zhao wouldn’t allow it at all, gripping his hand even tighter. “What are you pulling away for?”

He was still thinking about the dark circles under Fu Nan’an’s eyes and added, “How

are you so bad at taking care of yourself, like a child?”

Chi Zhao fiercely scolded Fu Nan’an for a while, truly resembling a teacher reprimanding a student. Fu Nan’an just smiled gently and let him talk, only saying at the end, “I know I was wrong, Teacher Chi.”

Chi Zhao asked him, “Will you still rush around like this next time?”

Fu Nan’an said, “But I missed you.”

So, the professor was still the professor after all, able to render Chi Zhao utterly speechless with a single sentence. At this, Chi Zhao’s face flushed red, and he could only awkwardly avert his eyes, unable to say another word.

Chi Zhao kept saying he wanted Fu Nan’an to pursue him, saying he “hadn’t agreed,” saying they “weren’t dating,” but his actual actions were completely different.

The dean of the medical school was an old professor with completely white hair and beard. The graduation ceremony lasted several hours before it finally concluded. By the time they were heading back, it was somewhat late. The two strolled to a nearby commercial street. There was an entire street of shops near the medical school, bustling and extraordinarily lively every night. Chi Zhao had Fu Nan’an accompany him to browse, but in reality, he was buying everything for Fu Nan’an.

“Professor, look! This scarf would suit you! The blue color is so nice!

“And this little alarm clock, it has a time-telling function, you can put it in your office.

“Oh right, right, let’s also buy two boxes of pens. You’re always saying you can’t find pens in the department. Even though you don’t use them much, it’s handy to have a few spares.”

After a loop through the night market street, Chi Zhao hadn’t bought much for himself, but he had purchased quite a few little things for Fu Nan’an.

“You’re so good to me, Teacher Chi,” Fu Nan’an said on the way back, holding Chi Zhao’s hand. Chi Zhao’s hand was always warm. Fu Nan’an tightened his fingers a little and said, “How are you this good?”

“Only realizing how good I am now?” Chi Zhao pretended to be angry, one hand held in Fu Nan’an’s grasp, the other pushing Fu Nan’an’s suitcase for him. “Then why didn’t you listen to me during the day?”

Chi Zhao said, “It was just a graduation ceremony, why did you have to rush over? Weren’t you tired?”

“I just wanted to see you,” Fu Nan’an laughed, no longer evading, and held his hand even tighter. “Really, I’m not tired. I wanted to see you, so I came. Seeing you makes me not tired.”

Though their mouths spoke of one pursuing the other, it was practically no different from being in a relationship. This all seems to be just a bit of a lovers’ game. Fu Nan’an had told Chi Zhao he wanted to formally pursue him for a few more days, asking Chi Zhao not to agree too quickly. Chi Zhao also said he wouldn’t be so easily swayed. But in reality, both had long since regarded the other as the person they would entrust their future to.

Being with someone you love makes every day joyful. After clearing the air with Chi Zhao, Fu Nan’an’s smiles had noticeably increased. This kind of emotional state is hard to conceal, and soon colleagues were asking Fu Nan’an if wedding bells were near. Fu Nan’an smiled and didn’t hide it. “Mn, soon.”

Fu Nan’an didn’t specify who, fearing trouble and feeling it unnecessary. Feelings are one’s own business. As long as the two of them are comfortable, there’s no need to care about others’ opinions. But he never hid it from family and close friends. He didn’t plan to, and couldn’t really anyway. Thus, Zou Anhe became the first friend to know about Chi Zhao and Fu Nan’an’s relationship.

Initially, Zou Anhe hadn’t really approved of Fu Nan’an and Chi Zhao being together. Chi Zhao was too young, and he had been a student Fu Nan’an taught. Before the two got together, Zou Anhe had advised Fu Nan’an more than once to consider carefully. It was only now, seeing Fu Nan’an’s state, that he gradually changed his attitude. Fu Nan’an had been far too lonely before, but it was as if he had become a different person after meeting Chi Zhao.

“So, you’re together?” Zou Anhe asked Fu Nan’an with a half-smile. “Who was it who told me they wouldn’t make a move on the kid?”

Bringing this up, Fu Nan’an also found it amusing. The one who had once vowed he would never develop feelings for Chi Zhao was indeed him, yet now, the one who couldn’t bear to be apart from Chi Zhao was still him.

“I spoke too soon,” Fu Nan’an shook his head, laughing as he did so. “We’re not together yet. I’m the one pursuing him.”

“Not together?” Zou Anhe was stunned. “If you’re not together, what are you laughing about?”

“Nothing really,” Fu Nan’an said. “I just feel it’s about time.”

Their situation was indeed no different from being in a relationship. After graduation, the dormitory was emptied, and Chi Zhao moved directly into Fu Nan’an’s place. Although they didn’t sleep together every single night, they were sticky and inseparable everyday, neither able to do without the other.

With feelings and everything else in place, it was time to push the relationship a step further. After his chat with Zou Anhe, Fu Nan’an went to a flower shop after work that day and bought a bouquet. On this very ordinary, uneventful day, he confessed his feelings to Chi Zhao again, just as he had done countless times before.

“Teacher Chi, have you found my sincerity sufficient during this time?” Fu Nan’an held the flowers respectfully with both hands. He went down on one knee and asked Chi Zhao, “Can you give me a chance?”

The moon was bright, the stars sparse, a clear night, no different from the night when Chi Zhao had confessed. Chi Zhao took the bouquet Fu Nan’an offered him and said, “Okay.”