Chapter 24 – Reply to me

Translator: Abo Dammen

From the Psychology Department to the Emergency Department, Chi Zhao’s work pace had noticeably quickened. The Emergency Department had not only day shifts but also night shifts. In this department where time was life, the mind had to be constantly on high alert. Everyone walked in small runs, and they didn’t even dare drink much water, afraid there wouldn’t be time to use the restroom.

It was December, the time for interns to take the postgraduate entrance exams. Many students in the department had taken leave for exam preparation, making the staffing even tighter. Chi Zhao planned to apply to universities abroad, with exams the following July or August, so almost all the miscellaneous tasks in the department fell on him and the two other interns who weren’t taking the domestic exams. The interns, following their supervising physicians, had to work a major night shift every three days, so busy they could barely find north. The little free time left felt especially precious.

Chi Zhao still went to Fu Nan’an’s place, but he faintly felt that Fu Nan’an was avoiding him, for some unknown reason.

That night, a patient injured by firecrackers came to the ER. Chi Zhao was busy helping treat the wound and didn’t have time to go. The next morning, during the shift change, Chi Zhao went to Fu Nan’an’s office and knocked gently on the door. “Professor Fu?”

Fu Nan’an had just changed into his white coat. Seeing him, he frowned slightly. “Why are you here now? Just finished the night shift?”

Chi Zhao nodded and went familiarly to get the necessary items. “Yes, I was busy with emergency treatment all last night, so I didn’t have time to come.”

Fu Nan’an remained standing where he was, buttoning his white coat one button at a time. “Go back. No compress today.”

Chi Zhao’s movements paused for a moment, but he still went out to fetch hot water. “It’ll be quick, just twenty minutes. I’ll go back right after helping you with the compress. It won’t delay your work.”

Fu Nan’an looked up vaguely in his direction and seemed to sigh helplessly. “You know that’s not what I mean.”

Chi Zhao smiled and half-pushed him to sit down on the chair. “I’m not tired, really.”

Fu Nan’an had told him more than once not to come after a night shift, but Chi Zhao still came. The intense night shifts constantly pushed him forward, his entire nervous system taut, his body so exhausted his muscles ached. But as long as he came to Fu Nan’an’s place, stood by Professor Fu’s side, that fatigue naturally melted and dissipated, replaced by a sense of relief and comfort arising from the depths of his heart. Chi Zhao never felt this was a labor or a burden, he thoroughly enjoyed the process.

The towel warmed up quickly in the water. Chi Zhao wrung it out, held it in his hand, and carefully unfolded it to place it over Fu Nan’an’s eyelids. Chi Zhao’s fingers pressed around Fu Nan’an’s eyes. When his fingertips accidentally brushed against his cheek, Fu Nan’an suddenly reached out and grabbed his wrist, his fingers tightening their grip.

Fu Nan’an’s fingertips were tense. Even through the thick winter clothes, Chi Zhao could feel it. A slight pain transmitted through his skin. Chi Zhao was stunned, not knowing why Fu Nan’an had such a strong reaction. He tentatively called out, “Professor Fu?”

“Sorry.” Fu Nan’an quickly withdrew his hand, an expression flashing across his face. His voice was still gentle, but his fingers pushed Chi Zhao’s hand away firmly. “You must be very tired? I can manage myself.”

Fu Nan’an’s action was somewhat obvious. Chi Zhao’s arm stiffened.

Unknowingly, the relationship between the two was not as intimate and natural as before. Professor Fu’s attitude was consistently gentle as always, but in some small details, Chi Zhao could clearly feel his distance.

This kind of silent distancing was very grating. It seemed soundless and traceless, but by the time you realized it, it was already too late. Now, Fu Nan’an would unconsciously avoid physical contact with Chi Zhao and had even suggested more than once that he didn’t need to come.

This felt terrible.

The light in the room was soft. Chi Zhao stared at Fu Nan’an and called out hesitantly, “Professor Fu…”

Half of Fu Nan’an’s face was covered by the towel, his expression completely hidden. “What is it?”

With his eyes covered, his other features became more prominent. Chi Zhao’s gaze unconsciously fell on Fu Nan’an’s lips. The thin lips opened and closed as he spoke. Chi Zhao knew their touch and temperature. His Adam’s apple bobbed. Something was almost on the tip of his tongue. “I…”

As if knowing what he wanted to say, Fu Nan’an indifferently interrupted him, “If you’re tired, go rest. Don’t waste your time here with me.”

Chi Zhao still wanted to say something, but Fu Nan’an had already removed the towel. Having had Chi Zhao help him with the warm compress for so long, he knew the routine. He felt his way through washing the towel and pouring out the water. He rebuttoned his white coat, and Chi Zhao couldn’t say another word.

An invisible barrier seemed to stand between them. Chi Zhao couldn’t guess Fu Nan’an’s thoughts. He felt anxious and unsettled, but had no solution.

Time flew by for another two weeks. Their relationship grew even more distant, perhaps because they were in different departments, or perhaps for other reasons. Many times, Chi Zhao wanted to talk to Fu Nan’an, wanted to send him a message. His fingers would tap open the dialog box, but then he wouldn’t know what to say.

Relationships need maintenance. One person’s enthusiasm alone isn’t enough. Time flew until the 28th day of the twelfth lunar month, approaching the New Year. Chi Zhao wanted to send Fu Nan’an a New Year’s greeting, but deliberated for a long time without knowing how to phrase it. This had never happened before.

Doctors had no holiday, and interns also had to work until the 28th. After getting off work in the evening, Chi Zhao was packing his things in the office, occasionally taking out his phone, swiping a couple of times, then putting it back.

He still had some hope.

“Xiao Chi, you haven’t left yet? I was just looking for you!” An enthusiastic voice interrupted Chi Zhao’s thoughts. The head nurse quickly walked up to him, smiling very amiably. “I saw the information you reported to the department. You’re not going home for the New Year this year?”

There were many male nurses in the Emergency Department, and the head nurse was also a male nurse named Liu Yang. His seniority was quite high, and he usually spoke with a commanding tone, but his tone today was different from usual, carrying a forced friendliness. Chi Zhao’s right eyelid twitched twice. He suddenly had a bad feeling. “Is there something you need?”

“Hey, it’s nothing major,” Liu Yang waved his hand, smiling as if it were no big deal. “It’s just that I’m on duty on New Year’s Eve. If you have nothing to do, how about coming to help out?”

Hospital work was busy, but it shouldn’t rely on interns to hold the fort, even in the Emergency Department. The hospital’s scheduled holiday for interns was from the 29th of the twelfth lunar month to the 6th of the first lunar month. Now, Liu Yang wanted an intern to work overtime on New Year’s Eve. However you looked at it, it was somewhat unjustifiable.

Chi Zhao opened his mouth. “But…”

“Hey, it’s just for one day,” Liu Yang interrupted Chi Zhao before he could finish. “You still have several other days off! I know overtime is hard, but you can learn a lot! Everyone has been through this stage. Look, your supervising teacher is also working overtime.”

The words sounded righteous, but the reality was not like that. Interns never had high status in the hospital. “Helping out” really just meant doing odd jobs. Some better doctors and nurses would teach you something, while others purely pushed all the dirty and tiring work onto you, treating you as free labor. Liu Yang belonged to the latter category.

Having worked under Liu Yang for almost three weeks, Chi Zhao had been ordered around by him plenty. If any other supervising physician had persuaded him a bit, Chi Zhao would have agreed. He had always been very accommodating. But it was precisely this Liu Yang, who usually loved bossing people around, that Chi Zhao didn’t want to waste his time with.

“Maybe you should ask someone else,” Chi Zhao said, a hundred percent unwilling in his heart, but his tone remained polite, not wanting to sour the relationship completely. “I’m not going home, but I have other plans. I probably can’t come to help.”

But Liu Yang wasn’t willing to let go of this free labor. Seeing that Chi Zhao wasn’t accepting the “good wine,” his attitude hardened. “If you’re not going home, what else could you possibly have to do? What’s wrong with coming for one day? Interns are supposed to work! How else can you grow? How can you become a doctor who can take charge of a department like this?”

This was somewhat excessive. The New Year holiday was originally the interns’ statutory holiday. Anyone would feel uncomfortable hearing such guilt-tripping-like words. Chi Zhao’s expression instantly cooled. Probably realizing his words were a bit too much, Liu Yang softened his tone a little and continued persuading, “That’s not what I meant, Xiao Chi. What things do you have? Tell me? Let’s see if I can help you?”

This didn’t sound sincere. Chi Zhao didn’t want to explain to him and looked down, opening WeChat. Liu Yang was still talking, “I don’t necessarily mean you have to come. How much work can one intern really do? I just think it’s not easy for you to be here alone for the New Year. Wouldn’t it be nice to have more people to talk to here?”

A few words of conversation in exchange for a full day’s free work, it was indeed a cost-effective¹ Chi Zhao was unwilling. He opened WeChat, quickly tapped on a dialog box, and sent a message: [Bro, save me!]

Chi Zhao intended to send this to Zhong Yangqiu. Zhong Yangqiu watched a lot of TV dramas and always had some unconventional ideas in his head. The other party replied with a question mark. Chi Zhao typed: [Quick, think of a reason from all those TV dramas you watch! The head nurse in ER is insisting I keep him company on duty on New Year’s Eve!]

The other party asked: [Liu Yang?]

Chi Zhao replied: [Yes, yes, yes! Quick, quick, waiting online!]

After sending the message, Chi Zhao anxiously waited for the other party’s reply, hoping Zhong Yangqiu could bring him some surprise. Liu Yang was still persuading him, chattering away. He was the kind of person who was persistent, otherwise Chi Zhao wouldn’t have fantastically sought help from Zhong Yangqiu.

“Faster, faster,” Chi Zhao mumbled inwardly. “Prophet Zhong, reply to me quickly!”

Chi Zhao truly didn’t want to work overtime on New Year’s Eve, wishing he could just grab his things and run on the spot. Liu Yang wasn’t willing to let him go. The two were stuck in a stalemate like this when Liu Yang’s phone suddenly rang.

“Hello? Yes, this is Liu Yang. Hello, hello.”

“What? You’re asking if our department’s Chi Zhao has plans for the New Year? No, no, absolutely not! I was just joking with him!”

“Alright, alright. Don’t worry. Wishing you a Happy New Year too. I’ll hang up now then.”

Liu Yang hung up the phone. His expression when looking at Chi Zhao was different from before. He smiled and asked, “You’re working on a project with Professor Fu? That’s a good thing! Why didn’t you say so earlier?”

Professor Fu? Working on a project?

Chi Zhao was stunned. Since when was he working on a project with Professor Fu?

“I…”

Chi Zhao responded, utterly baffled, then suddenly remembered something. Looking down at his phone screen again, a new message had already arrived in the chat box.

[I got it.]

Only three simple words in the white speech bubble. Above it were Chi Zhao’s pleas for help. And right at the top of the chat box, the contact name surprisingly read three large characters: Fu Nan’an.

Chi Zhao’s mind went blank. He couldn’t believe it, repeatedly flipping through the chat history several times before he dared to confirm.

He had been thinking for days about how to send that New Year’s greeting, and he had actually sent the plea for help to Fu Nan’an!