Chapter 13: Wanting to give him a cotton candy bouquet, too

Translator: Abo Dammen

After washing up, it was still early. The rest of the team hadn’t arrived yet, but Auntie Zhao had come early to help and had even made them breakfast. It was a simple meal of just two dishes and a soup, but the food cooked in the large iron wok and stove of the countryside had a distinct and delightful flavor compared to city food.

“You’ve gone to so much trouble,” Fu Nan’an said as he helped set the table with bowls and chopsticks. “Thank you for taking the trouble to come so early.”

“It’s nothing,” Auntie Zhao waved her hand genially, beaming. Her gaze as she looked at the three of them was full of respect and admiration. “Everyone in our village is so happy to know you’re here. What little I’m doing is truly nothing.”

The Fifth Hospital’s outreach program had come to Dawang Village before. The villagers were especially grateful to the doctors from the provincial capital. This was a backward and isolated village. Most of the younger, able-bodied residents had gone out to find work, leaving behind only the elderly and children. They were a vulnerable group in every sense, and when they fell ill, it was difficult for them to get effective treatment. For them, doctors from the provincial capital were like great benefactors.

Auntie Zhao was a native of Dawang Village. The village favored sons over daughters, and while she had picked up some medical knowledge by secretly learning from her elders, she only knew the most basic skills. Naturally, upon seeing the doctors from the city, she wanted to learn from them. Her face full of expectation, she asked, “By the way, what’s your specialty again?”

Fu Nan’an smiled and said, “Psychology.” Auntie Zhao’s expression froze.

“Psychology?” she asked, clearly not understanding. “You mean the kind that treats… mental illness?”

“It’s not quite the same,” Fu Nan’an explained to her. “What we commonly think of as ‘mental illness’ is often seen as very severe, like being crazy or foolish, and incurable. But actually, most psychological disorders aren’t that extreme. They are common illnesses related to perception, thought, emotion, and behavior. All of these are connected to our psychology.”

Auntie Zhao made a noise of acknowledgment, only half-understanding. “Oh… I see.”

Being from a remote area, she had never been exposed to these concepts before. In the village, if a person could eat and work, that was enough. Few people paid any attention to psychological issues. Auntie Zhao’s attitude towards the three of them cooled noticeably. She no longer pestered them with questions. After the meal, she made an excuse about having things to do at home and left. The plan for her to show them around the area vanished without a trace.

Chen Kaiji couldn’t adapt to this sudden change in attitude. “What’s with that?” he said, his tone displeased. “As soon as she found out we’re in psychology, she dropped us. What’s wrong with psychology? It’s a key department in our hospital! There’s no need to look down on us like that. How provincial!”

“Don’t say that,” Fu Nan’an said calmly. “Psychology is a new discipline. It takes time for new things to be accepted by the public. We are in the stage of promoting psychology right now. This isn’t one person’s problem.”

The acceptance of psychology in the countryside was indeed limited, and even a larger village like Dawang Village wasn’t much better.

At nine in the morning, the psychology team arrived at the Dawang Village health station, travel-worn and weary. They set up their tent and hung their banner. But when the villagers, who had heard the news and come to see them, saw the words “Psychology Department” on the banner, they left one after another, their faces filled with disappointment.

Chen Kaiji couldn’t take it anymore. He grabbed a villager who had come and was about to leave and asked, “Don’t you have anything you want to consult us about?”

“Consult about what? I’m not sick,” the man retorted, shooting Chen Kaiji an annoyed glance. “Don’t talk nonsense. I’m not crazy or stupid, why would I need to see a psychologist?”

This was a clear demonization of mental illness. As Chen Kaiji hesitated, wondering if he should say more, another villager came over. “Hey, are you here to treat the mentally ill?” he asked.

Before Chen Kaiji could answer, the man winked at him. “There’s a crazy kid on the west side of the village. You could go see him.”

A villager nearby laughed outright. “That crazy kid is beyond help. No one can do anything for him.”

Another added, “And ‘psychology’? We villagers aren’t that sophisticated. Having enough to eat is good enough for us.”

This was the reality for the psychology department’s rural outreach. Just as Fu Nan’an had said, you really couldn’t blame any single person. The overall mindset was just like this. The morning passed, and the number of people coming for consultations remained pitifully low.

“This is so frustrating,” Chen Kaiji said when it was time for lunch, taking an angry bite out of his steamed bun. “We have all these skills but nowhere to use them.”

“Take it slowly,” Fu Nan’an comforted him. “It was like this even in the big cities when our department first opened. Now, people’s acceptance of psychology has gradually improved.”

Chen Kaiji was still somewhat skeptical. “Will they really come to accept it slowly?”

“Definitely,” Fu Nan’an assured. “Before, many patients didn’t trust me because of my eyes. But now, haven’t they slowly come to accept me?”

The younger members of the team grew curious. By the time they had joined, Professor Fu was already highly respected and revered by everyone. “Professor Fu, what was it like when you first joined the psychology department?”

“Being doubted was a common occurrence back then,” Fu Nan’an recalled with a smile. He deliberately shifted everyone’s attention, telling the story in great detail. “Back then, even my own teacher didn’t trust me, let alone the patients. For the first month in the psychology department, I didn’t get a single patient…”

It had to be said that Fu Nan’an was very good at lightening the mood. He humorously recounted the misunderstandings and discrimination he had faced in the past, and the department’s previously gloomy atmosphere soon dissipated. Everyone was regularly charmed into laughter by his storytelling. Chi Zhao, turning his head to look at him, felt an involuntary, fine, thread-like ripple stir deep in his heart.

They say that a fall into a pit, a gain in your wit. No one is born able to endure criticism and doubt. Fu Nan’an’s expression was gentle and calm, but behind such composure under pressure often lies countless “falls” and hardships as its foundation. Chi Zhao could imagine the scenes from that time, and they certainly couldn’t have been pleasant.

Fu Nan’an, who had trained in medicine, lost his sight just as he was about to graduate. But he didn’t give up on himself. Clinging to his pride and unyielding spirit, he resolutely changed careers to become a psychological counselor. However, how could a physical disability be so easily accepted? When he first started, Fu Nan’an had endured countless scornful looks.

“How come this doctor is blind? Can he really treat people?”

“Don’t they say disabled people are more prone to psychological problems? What if he teaches my child the wrong things?”

“No, no, we don’t want that blind one. We want to change doctors.”

Many of these things Fu Nan’an didn’t state outright, but that didn’t mean they didn’t happen. Just hearing his understated descriptions made Chi Zhao feel a tightness in his chest. Yet, even amidst such suspicion and rejection, Fu Nan’an still hadn’t given up on himself. After countless setbacks, he had relied on himself to gradually win his patients’ trust. To this day, his office was hung with countless commendatory banners, his name frequently appeared in professional psychology journals.

His own eyes could not see, but he had brought the light of clarity to countless people’s minds.

–

Most doctors in the Psychology Department were quite good at comforting people, and Fu Nan’an, in particular, was completely unafraid to lay his old wounds bare for everyone to see. The few young doctors sighed in admiration of Professor Fu’s remarkable strength, encouraging each other to carry forward and glorify the Psychology Department. This high-spirited, fighting will was the finest image of the new generation of young medical workers.

Chi Zhao was also moved, but in his heart, he felt a pang of distress.

Not everyone can fall down and get back up again. At this moment, he suddenly felt an intense urge to give Fu Nan’an a bouquet of cotton candy.

Lunch was again arranged by Auntie Zhao. Perhaps realizing her behavior from the morning had been somewhat impolite, she had specially prepared a table full of dishes for them.

After the meal, Chi Zhao proactively offered to help her wash the dishes. The two of them carried the stack of utensils to the sink at the end of the corridor.

With over ten people having eaten, the pile of plates and bowls was considerable. The two of them washed for a good while without finishing. Maintaining silence was becoming awkward, and Auntie Zhao was a talker, so she found a random topic to start a conversation with Chi Zhao. “Young man, are you also studying that… what’s-it-called, psychology?”

Chi Zhao, who was diligently scrubbing a plate, froze for a second before realizing she was talking to him. “Hm? Me? No, I’m not. I study clinical medicine. I’m just doing my residency rotation in the Psychology Department.”

“Clinical medicine is good,” Auntie Zhao nodded, exclaiming with a chuckle, “Clinical medicine is truly good. What exactly can that Psychology Department do anyway?”

Many people genuinely don’t understand psychology, but having been in the rotation for a while now, Chi Zhao naturally couldn’t stand to hear her talk like that. He earnestly explained to her, “Actually, the Psychology Department is quite good, really. It’s a key department in our hospital.”

“You make it sound easy,” Auntie Zhao laughed, clearly not believing him. “Since you’re not from that department anyway, I’ll speak plainly. It seems to me that the doctors in Psychology are just the ones no other department wanted.”

Chi Zhao frowned. “Why do you say that?”

“Well… you even have that blind professor, don’t you?” Auntie Zhao hesitated, lowering her voice a little. “A place even a blind person can go to is obviously not a great department. Tell me secretly, did he get in through connections?”

“It’s not like that,” Chi Zhao refuted her immediately. “Auntie, you’re a medical practitioner yourself. Do you really think the level of medical skill can be defined so simply?”

Under normal circumstances, Chi Zhao might not have argued with her. But the stories he heard at noon, shared by Fu Nan’an, had genuinely upset him. Chi Zhao knew that people’s deeply held views are hard to change, but he couldn’t bear to let Fu Nan’an be misunderstood like this. Even if he could only convince one person, it would be worth it.

It was true that Fu Nan’an couldn’t work in clinical medicine due to his eyes, but that didn’t mean the Psychology Department was inferior. Every specialty has its own merits. Chi Zhao spoke seriously, “Psychology is an important branch of medicine, and Professor Fu is an exceptional person. Many patients now make special trips to our hospital just to get an appointment with him. Although he can’t see, we can’t doubt his ability because of that. Professor Fu has led many national research projects, for example…”

Chi Zhao argued with Auntie Zhao point by point, straining his mind to try and persuade her. So, he didn’t notice when two figures appeared at the corner behind them.

Chen Kaiji was frantically making eyes and gestures towards Chi Zhao’s direction. Fu Nan’an, standing beside him, gently touched his white cane, the expression on his face complex and unreadable.