Chapter 20 – “You can touch it.”

Translator: Abo Dammen

Fu Nan’an’s voice was very low, falling by Chi Zhao’s ear, causing a tingling numbness, as if something was tickling his sensitive nerves. Chi Zhao’s breathing abruptly quickened.

Alcohol coursed through his bloodstream, his nostrils filled with the scent of sandalwood, elusive. Chi Zhao loved this feeling.

Staying calm now was far too difficult. His heart pounded wildly, as if a little rabbit was kicking in his chest. Chi Zhao’s Adam’s apple bobbed, his cheeks were burning, blood rushed up all at once. His mind went blank with impulse, and he directly reached out and grabbed Fu Nan’an’s wrist.

“You can touch it,” Chi Zhao guided his hand to the spot of his dimple, his face impossibly red. “You’ll know if you touch it.”

This dimple was on his left cheek, a slight indentation. Chi Zhao was quite thin, but his face still had a bit of flesh. The moment his fingertip touched the heated skin, Fu Nan’an had only one sensation: soft.

So soft. Soft and warm. Chi Zhao’s face flushed with alcohol so now his entire cheek was hot. The place his fingertip touched was a soft, small hollow, its curve perfectly fitting the contour of his finger, so soft it felt like one could sink into it. Chi Zhao hardly dared to move, but Fu Nan’an could still feel that little dimple trembling slightly, nervous, just like its owner.

“Did you feel it?” Chi Zhao didn’t even dare to breathe heavily. In truth, the moment he acted, he regretted it. It was too improper. But he couldn’t bear to let go now. He was still holding Fu Nan’an’s wrist. “You… did you hear earlier? They all said my dimple is nice.”

Fu Nan’an gave a low hum of acknowledgment but still withdrew his hand. As his finger left the cheek, it inadvertently brushed against that small dimple, like a tiny hook, leaving that patch of Chi Zhao’s skin numb. Fu Nan’an lowered his arm and said, “It is indeed nice. It suits you.”

This compliment was a bit unfounded, truly praising blindly. What kind of “nice” is it when a blind man calls something nice? But Chi Zhao was especially susceptible to Professor Fu’s praise, it made him happier than anyone else’s. He didn’t know what to say, could only pick up his glass and take a sip of wine. Professor Fu’s smile was more intoxicating than the wine. “You’re too good at compliments.”

“Hey, Chi-ge, weren’t you done drinking? Why are you raising your glass to Professor Fu again?”

They were all eating at the same table, sitting face-to-face. Any movement on this side was clear to the other. Seeing Chi Zhao raise his glass, Chen Kaiji immediately found it amusing and teased his ‘Chi-ge’. “What, is Professor Fu special to you?”

After a few weeks, the two had gotten quite familiar. Chen Kaiji loved teasing Chi Zhao about this. Chi Zhao was used to it by now and simply, emboldened by the alcohol, raised his glass openly. “Of course. Professor Fu is my supervising teacher, after all.”

While speaking, Chi Zhao deliberately turned his head towards Fu Nan’an. Fu Nan’an’s eyelids were slightly lowered, his expression unreadable. Chi Zhao’s mind heated up again, and he added, “I… I really, really admire him.”

His tone was too sincere. Fu Nan’an’s movements paused for a moment.

Chi Zhao had said similar things to Fu Nan’an before, but it was just the two of them then, speaking from the heart. Now, saying it in front of everyone was actually quite unexpected to Fu Nan’an. After all, Chinese culture is reserved, so whatever the emotion, there’s a tendency to hide and conceal it.

Fu Nan’an was silent for a moment, then asked the person beside him, “Is there any wine left? Pour me some.”

These words surprised those around him. Fu Nan’an rarely drank. Not that he couldn’t, but he didn’t like to. But the admiration of a young person is a precious thing. Chi Zhao’s tone was earnest, and Fu Nan’an also wanted to respond in some way. Everyone around knew he didn’t drink and tried to dissuade him, but Fu Nan’an still raised his glass to Chi Zhao and said, “I’ll toast you.”

Chi Zhao’s face turned even redder. He raised his glass and drank it all in one go, saying, “Thank you, Professor Fu.”

Drinking at a gathering is about the atmosphere, it’s not necessarily about the quantity. With this ritual, the mood is set. Everyone raised their glasses and clinked together once more. Amidst the clinking glasses and conversation, the topic shifted to Fu Nan’an himself.

Professor Qian had also drunk a bit. His emotions were up, and the words pent up in his heart couldn’t be held back anymore. He turned to ask Fu Nan’an, “That child named Yuanliang… did you know him before?”

Fu Nan’an shook his head. “No.”

Professor Qian clicked his tongue, remembering again how Fu Nan’an had helped him get admitted. “Seeing how good you are to him, applying for things, writing materials for him, running around busy for so many days, I thought you knew him before.”

“No,” Fu Nan’an smiled, his tone very casual. “I just thought the child was quite pitiful. If I can help, I will.”

It was just a casual question over the meal, but Chi Zhao sensed something was off. Fu Nan’an had only told him he could help, without mentioning how. After Yuanliang arrived, he was directly admitted to the ward. Chi Zhao had been thinking it went quite smoothly until now, when he realized someone had been pulling strings behind the scenes. As the dinner was winding down and people had mostly stopped eating, Chi Zhao moved closer to a senior brother and asked, “Shixiong, for a case like Yuanliang’s, is it very troublesome?”

“Of course it’s troublesome,” the senior brother said without hesitation, his tone certain. “Lots of procedures to go through. There’s a lot behind the scenes. Otherwise, why were the other professors unwilling to take him? Who wouldn’t want to do a good deed?”

Chi Zhao opened his mouth. “Then Professor Fu…”

“Professor Fu must be kind-hearted, or maybe someone pleaded for that child,” the senior brother shrugged, guessing, then sighed. “Actually, I think Professor Fu really didn’t need to do this. He even owes the department head a big favor now.”

The speaker has no intention, but the listener takes it to heart. Chi Zhao’s heart trembled.

Something that originally didn’t need to be done, Professor Fu had done. Chi Zhao wasn’t obtuse. He could understand the rights and wrongs of the matter. Professor Fu was too good, doing something unnecessary because of his plea.

The dinner was nearing its end. People at the table were chatting idly. Fu Nan’an was also talking with a professor beside him. The light in the private room was pale yellow, like casting a gentle glow. Fu Nan’an tilted his head slightly, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he spoke. Chi Zhao suddenly felt his mouth go dry.

Liking someone can’t be hidden, love even less so. After the meal, everyone took a group photo together. The moment the shutter clicked, Chi Zhao instinctively glanced towards Fu Nan’an. Thus, this fleeting glance was permanently recorded in the photograph.

The dinner was happy and comfortable. In the evening, many posted the photos on their social media. They were all students rotating through different departments. Zou Anhe also came across their group photo on his feed. When he saw the photo, Zou Anhe’s brow furrowed. He hesitated for a moment, then called Fu Nan’an.

“What is it?” Fu Nan’an asked after answering the phone. “Any instructions from Director Zou?”

Having known each other for so many years, their relationship had always been good. Although they didn’t chat often, they always had topics when they did. Teasing each other had become a habit. But today, Zou Anhe wasn’t in the mood for Fu Nan’an’s jokes, his tone was quite serious. “What Director Zou? Director Zou has questions for you.”

Fu Nan’an put away his teasing tone. “Go ahead.”

Zou Anhe opened the photo he’d just seen on social media again. Chi Zhao was gazing with burning intensity towards Fu Nan’an, and Fu Nan’an had also slightly raised his eyes. Chi Zhao’s eyes were bright, his cheeks tinged with a rosy hue. Zou Anhe sighed softly. “You and Chi Zhao… what exactly is going on?”

Zou Anhe had noticed before that Chi Zhao seemed interested in Fu Nan’an. Seeing this photo now startled him even more. Previously, he thought Fu Nan’an wouldn’t develop feelings for Chi Zhao, so he wasn’t worried at all. Only now did he suddenly realize that Fu Nan’an seemed to treat Chi Zhao a bit differently indeed.

Fu Nan’an’s personality was gentle yet distant. There had been students who liked him before, but he would always subtly create distance. Now, even Zou Anhe had noticed Chi Zhao’s feelings. Fu Nan’an couldn’t be completely unaware. Yet he was still indulging Chi Zhao. Zou Anhe’s tone paused. “Are you two… together?”

“How could that be?” Fu Nan’an laughed upon hearing this, genuinely finding it amusing. “He’s just a kid. What would it mean for me to be with him?”

Zou Anhe asked, “Do you like him?”

“Whether I like him or not is the same,” Fu Nan’an still smiled, neither admitting nor denying, just stating flatly, “We’re not suitable.”

Even Zou Anhe could see it. Fu Nan’an couldn’t possibly be unaware of Chi Zhao’s feelings. This situation was too common. Almost everyone had admired a teacher during their student days. Limited by age and experience, this kind of liking was mostly hazy and fleeting, very rarely did it become love that could walk together into the future. Zou Anhe nodded and said, “Indeed, not suitable.”

He paused, then added, “You know, right? Chi Zhao plans to study abroad.”

Fu Nan’an nodded slowly. “I know.”

Chi Zhao had mentioned it during conversations before, and Fu Nan’an had always been supportive. Going out to see the world is a good thing.

Studying abroad, of course, doesn’t mean he’ll live abroad forever, nor does it mean cutting ties. It’s just that the path of life is too long. A child of this age still has too many wonderful choices, he shouldn’t be bound and restricted now. Fu Nan’an said with a slight smile, “Don’t worry, I have a clear head about this.”

Zou Anhe sighed and said, “That’s good.”