Chapter 21 – “I just like being with you”

Translator: Abo Dammen

He had drunk a bit too much the previous day, so when Chi Zhao woke up the next morning, his mind still felt somewhat sluggish. The dreams from the whole night were hazy and indistinct. When he woke up, the area between his legs felt cool. Chi Zhao had to wash his underwear in the morning again.

His mind was slow, but he remembered everything from the dinner clearly. He remembered grabbing Fu Nan’an’s hand and placing it on his dimple, and he remembered the temperature of Professor Fu’s distinct, bony fingers, which was very warm.

His cheeks felt warm too. Chi Zhao wiped his face with his wet hands. There was a large mirror above the sink. The young man in the mirror had clean, handsome features, well-proportioned bone structure, and the dimple on his cheek was very noticeable when he smiled, tinged with a flush.

Many people had praised this dimple of his, saying he looked like a young celebrity from TV when he smiled. Chi Zhao looked up at his reflection, but all that remained in his mind was the temperature of Fu Nan’an’s fingertips. He reached out his own hand to touch it. His fingertips, wet and cool, carried droplets of water that slid down his cheek. No matter how he touched it, he couldn’t recapture the feeling from his memory.

“What are you doing so early in the morning?” Zhong Yangqiu walked over, rubbing his sleepy eyes. “You’ve been standing in front of the mirror for ages, haven’t you?”

“What, can’t I?” Chi Zhao withdrew his hand, joked with him for a couple of sentences, and glanced one more time at the dimple in the mirror before leaving.

His fingers kneaded that small dimple, his heart thinking: I wonder if Professor Fu liked it.

The dinner last night went quite late. The next day, when they arrived at the office, everyone had switched back to work mode. They were all people with a sense of proportion. When Chi Zhao arrived, the other doctors had already changed into their white coats. Chi Zhao also put on his own coat, pinned on his name tag, and followed the group for ward rounds.

It had been almost a month in the Psychology Department. He had learned most of what he needed to. After the final exit exam, he would rotate to other departments. Cherishing these last few days of interaction with Fu Nan’an, Chi Zhao would frequently glance in Fu Nan’an’s direction. It didn’t take much time. Just seeing Fu Nan’an there made him feel at ease.

Ward rounds passed in the blink of an eye. Chi Zhao had never felt time fly so fast. After rounds, Fu Nan’an and a few professors went to the outpatient clinic, while the interns stayed in the wards to help care for the patients.

Patients in the Psychology Department primarily relied on medication. Patient care mainly involved supervising them taking their medicine and sometimes organizing recreational activities to help them relax. Today, the department organized a chess game. After taking their medication, the patients were called out one by one.

Actually, these patients were just ordinary people, many around Chi Zhao’s age, not as terrifying as rumors suggested. Once familiar, these patients were quite easy to get along with. Even Yuanliang, who had only been admitted recently, was slowly joining the recreational activities under the nurses’ guidance.

Seeing Yuanliang’s progress undoubtedly made Chi Zhao the happiest. The wounds on Yuanliang’s body hadn’t fully healed yet, but his expression was no longer so timid and wooden.

“This child seems to be recovering quite well,” Chi Zhao stood behind Yuanliang, chatting idly with a nurse beside him. “It’s only been a few days, and he can already participate in group activities like this.”

The nurse nodded. “Right? His family was overjoyed when they visited yesterday.”

Chi Zhao was happy too, but his happiness lasted only a few seconds before the nurse leaned closer to him with a mysterious expression. “Oh, speaking of which, I remembered something.”

“What?” Chi Zhao asked, feeling a bit uneasy seeing her smile. Sure enough, the nurse grinned and winked at him exaggeratedly. “That Auntie Zhao, the family member of this little patient, said you don’t have a girlfriend and asked us to help look for one.”

“…..”

Chi Zhao choked. Auntie Zhao was really being a bit too enthusiastic.

“No, I—” Chi Zhao hadn’t expected Auntie Zhao to tell the ward nurses about this and was at a loss for how to explain. The nurse immediately invited him, “Hey, it’s perfect, several departments are having a mixer this afternoon. Want to come along?”

“I—”

“Then it’s settled! We’ll head out together at 7 PM. Lots of pretty girls are going!”

When had he agreed to go? Chi Zhao was stunned and hurriedly tried to explain. He completely failed to notice a figure passing by swiftly beside him.

Fu Nan’an walked past behind him, his steps steady, his back straight and tall.

After leaving the ward area, Fu Nan’an returned to the outpatient building. A hospitalized patient had an emergency, so he was called over to check. By the time he returned, quite a few people were already waiting in the consultation room.

Professor Qian had been holding the fort for him: “How’s the situation over there?”

“No problem,” Fu Nan’an smiled, explaining, “The family was just too nervous, didn’t trust the nurses and interns, and specifically called me over again.”

“That’s good,” Professor Qian nodded. As he was leaving, he took another look at Fu Nan’an and asked hesitantly, “Are you really okay?”

Fu Nan’an asked him, “Why?”

“Just thought your expression seemed a bit strange earlier,” Professor Qian looked at Fu Nan’an carefully a few more times, then shook his head. “Must have been my imagination. Doesn’t seem like anything now.”

“It’s nothing,” Fu Nan’an saw him to the door of the consultation room and patted his shoulder. “Sorry to trouble you just now.”

It was Fu Nan’an’s day for outpatient duties. Many patients had come specifically to see Professor Fu, some even traveling from other places. Not letting them see him felt wrong. After all, doctors are in the business of treating illness and saving lives.

Fu Nan’an spent the whole day in the outpatient clinic, not even having time for lunch. It was only after dark that the day’s work finally ended. He packed up and returned to his office to have a sip of tea.

His phone announced the time on the dot: 7:00 PM sharp. The mechanical voice was all too familiar. But when the phone said “seven o’clock,” Fu Nan’an’s hand paused slightly.

7 PM. It was a prime time, suitable for young people.

Fu Nan’an put down his cup, pulled a book from the nearby shelf, and began reading carefully with his fingers. The clock on the wall ticked round and round, but his fingers hadn’t moved past a few lines.

“Beep beep beep—Voice assistant reporting the time. The current Beijing time is twenty hundred hours (8:00 PM).”

The familiar mechanical voice sounded again. Fu Nan’an put down the book in his hands. He slowly changed his clothes, picked up his white cane, and just then, a knock sounded at the door.

“Professor Fu, are you in?” It was Chi Zhao’s voice.

Fu Nan’an paused for a second before saying, “Come in.”

“Have you been waiting long?” Chi Zhao peeked in, scratching his head apologetically, then went familiarly to fetch the towel and basin placed nearby. “A patient needed me just now, so I’m a bit later than usual.”

Fu Nan’an didn’t say anything. Chi Zhao conscientiously took the basin to the nearby hot water room, filled it halfway with boiling water, mixed in cool water, and soaked the towel in it. Wringing out the steaming towel, his tone was very natural, “Professor, please sit on the chair here. I’ll help you with the warm compress.”

Everything seemed the same as usual. Chi Zhao coming to help Fu Nan’an with the eye compress had become a tacit little routine between them. But for this to happen today felt somewhat unusual. Fu Nan’an closed his eyes and was silent for a moment before saying, “Weren’t you supposed to go to the mixer? Why are you here?”

Chi Zhao’s hand trembled slightly, genuinely embarrassed. “How do you know about that too? Don’t tell me Auntie Zhao also asked you to help me find a partner?”

Fu Nan’an didn’t confirm or deny, only asked him, “Why didn’t you go?”

“Just… didn’t want to,” Chi Zhao answered vaguely, supporting Fu Nan’an’s head to make him lean back slightly. He placed the warm, damp towel on the skin around his eyes. Chi Zhao laughed and said, “Alright, don’t move for now. It’ll be ready in a moment.”

A blind person’s eyes are more fragile than those of a sighted person. Yet, the temperature of Chi Zhao’s compresses was always just right. It was slightly warm but not scalding. The warm steam penetrated the skin, soothing the stiff muscles. Fu Nan’an closed his eyes and called out slowly, “Chi Zhao.”

Chi Zhao looked up at him. “Hmm?”

“If you have something to do, you can just message me on WeChat.” Fu Nan’an’s voice was slow and gentle. His eyes were covered by the towel, making it impossible to see the expression on his face. “Helping me with the compress was already troubling you. If you find it troublesome—”

“It’s no trouble at all, no trouble,” Chi Zhao cut in before Fu Nan’an could finish. “I really like it!”

Words are one thing, but Fu Nan’an still smiled and shook his head. Socializing is good for young people. Chi Zhao coming here was really quite an inconvenience, it shouldn’t always be like this. “I’m affecting you.”

“Really, you’re not,” Chi Zhao grew a bit flustered, understanding the implication in Fu Nan’an’s words and truly afraid he would misunderstand. “I really was late because a patient needed me. I never even considered going to that mixer, really.”

Afraid Fu Nan’an wouldn’t believe him, he poured out the words from the bottom of his heart, without a hint of falsehood. “If I wanted to find someone, I wouldn’t look at a mixer. I already have someone I like. I refused when Auntie Zhao offered to set me up. It’s not that no one likes me. If I just wanted to casually find someone to date, I wouldn’t have stayed single until now.”

These words were spoken too sincerely. To misunderstand further would be unjustified. Chi Zhao’s tone was tight and tense. Fu Nan’an laughed and teased him, wanting to lighten the mood. “Oh? Lots of girls like you?”

But Chi Zhao grew even more nervous. “No, that’s not what I meant! I’ve explained things clearly to them all!”

Chi Zhao spoke very anxiously, only realizing belatedly that Fu Nan’an was joking. The corners of Professor Fu’s lips were slightly upturned. Chi Zhao’s face felt a bit warm. “Anyway, I’ve never felt that helping you with the compress is any trouble. I think it’s much more interesting than that silly mixer.”

The towel on his eyes was gradually cooling, yet it still felt very warm. Chi Zhao’s tone was awkward and carried a hint of shyness. Fu Nan’an was silent for a moment, then asked with a slight smile, “What’s so interesting about staying with an old blind man?”

“Who said you’re an old blind man?” Chi Zhao retorted directly, instantly angry, thinking someone had said that about his Professor Fu. Seeing the upturned corner of Fu Nan’an’s mouth, he realized he was being teased again. He was genuinely embarrassed, wondering why Fu Nan’an kept joking with him today. He couldn’t handle these kinds of remarks. He averted his eyes and muttered, “Anyway… I just like being with you.”

The awkward, unnatural tone was almost coquettish. Fu Nan’an didn’t speak, but the smile at the corners of his lips deepened.

It was hard to describe this feeling. It was like being brushed by the fuzzy tip of a tail, or like a warm little animal lying on your chest.

The warm towel had completely cooled. Chi Zhao replaced it with a new warm one for Fu Nan’an.

The warm towel against his skin created a wonderful sensation, and along with it, a part of his heart softened. An indescribable feeling drifted in the air.