Chapter 16 – Fu Nan’an’s heart trembled slightly

Translator: Abo Dammen

Professor Qian was sitting right there, and his expression immediately changed when he saw that familiar face. “Is this child also here to consult with us?”

Auntie Zhao, unaware of what had happened, quickly responded, “I’m sorry to trouble all you doctors. Our Yuanliang is a good child. Please, you must help him.”

Her tone was too earnest, carrying the simple sincerity unique to a rural woman. As the saying goes, you don’t hit a smiling face. The anger Professor Qian had built up suddenly had no outlet. He looked her over for a long moment and finally sighed. “Alright, we can take a look at him. But there’s something I need to tell you first. This child just—”

“I won’t see anyone! I won’t see anyone!” Yuanliang suddenly spoke up, his pitch-black eyes fixed fiercely on Professor Qian and the interns, his expression so vicious it seemed he wished he could come up and beat them all up. “Who wants you to see me? Liars!”

They weren’t unfamiliar with emotionally charged patients, but Yuanliang seemed exceptionally aggressive. He was still holding the nail he had used to puncture the tire and thrust it towards Professor Qian’s arm. Professor Qian couldn’t dodge in time, and the back of his hand was slashed open, blood instantly seeping out.

“You child!” Auntie Zhao’s heart panicked, and she hurriedly reached out to pull him back. The other interns also rushed to help restrain him. But Yuanliang seemed to have the endless strength of a young calf, quickly breaking free from everyone and running away, cursing as he went. His accent carried a local dialect lilt, and he spat out almost the most venomous curses native to the place.

His words were truly too foul. Even if you didn’t understand some of them, you knew they were extremely malicious curses. His loud shouts echoed around the free clinic area. The people who had come for consultations were whispering amongst themselves. Professor Qian’s expression was grim.

But compared to Professor Qian’s cold face, Auntie Zhao was even more distraught. She kept turning, wanting to go after Yuanliang, yet also preoccupied with apologizing to Professor Qian, spinning around like an ant on a hot pan. Chi Zhao quickly stepped forward to stop her. “Don’t panic, Auntie Zhao. Let’s find Yuanliang first, so he doesn’t get lost.”

Professor Qian also waved his hand. “Go on, go on. We can talk about the rest later.”

Being unfamiliar with the place, Yuanliang couldn’t have run far. He did have some feelings for Auntie Zhao after all. Calling out and searching for him, Auntie Zhao finally found him in a cornfield. He was covered in mud, his expression full of wariness. Auntie Zhao didn’t dare take him to see the doctors rashly again. After settling him, she returned alone to the medical vehicle.

At that time, Fu Nan’an was seeing another patient and couldn’t get away. Auntie Zhao still spoke with Professor Qian. After their conversation, Auntie Zhao looked at him expectantly. “Well, doctor, can he be treated?”

Professor Qian was silent for a moment before saying, “The situation is quite complex.”

Yuanliang’s situation was indeed complex. In his current state, he resisted anyone’s approach. Psychological treatment is a long and continuous process. Treating a child like this required a detailed plan and long-term counseling. Unfortunately, they were currently on a free clinic, staying only a few days. This was an almost impossible task, no matter who was involved. Professor Qian asked Auntie Zhao, “Would you be willing to come back with us to the city for treatment?”

Auntie Zhao hesitated, her first reaction being about money. “Go to the provincial capital? Would that cost a lot of money?”

This was a very realistic reaction. The reason many patients can’t get effective treatment is their poor family circumstances. They say doctors are benevolent, they try their best to help and save patients they can. But they are also people who need to eat. Hospitals nowadays operate on a self-financing model. Asking them to cover the costs was unrealistic and too much to ask.

Professor Qian asked Auntie Zhao, “Do you have health insurance?”

Auntie Zhao shook her head.

Of course. This child lost his mother, and his biological father is like that. Who would bother to get him health insurance?

This made things very difficult. Professor Qian indicated a number with his hand, and Auntie Zhao’s face turned pale with fright. “We could never earn that much money in our lifetime!”

Professor Qian could only shake his head and say, “I’m sorry.”

Later, Professor Qian tried to communicate with Yuanliang again, but there was still no progress. Time flew by, and it was soon noon. During lunch, Fu Nan’an finally managed to extricate himself from the crowd. He was still concerned about Yuanliang. “Did the child Auntie Zhao brought come by?”

“He did,” Chi Zhao responded from the side, somewhat dejectedly. “He’s already left.”

There were too many helpless situations. Conditions simply didn’t permit it. Professor Qian recounted the events of the morning. Fu Nan’an also sighed softly and said, “What a pity.”

“It is a bit of a pity,” Professor Qian lamented along for a few sentences, then remembered something important. “Oh right, I almost forgot. That kid also punctured our tire! We still need to find a place to get it patched!”

Yuanliang had punctured their tire. No one mentioned it, but everyone was ultimately afraid of inviting more trouble. Conditions in the village were rudimentary, so finding a place to patch a tire wasn’t easy. The interns asked around in several places before finding a mechanic. By the time both tires were patched, it was almost dark.

The soughing north wind blew. The day’s free clinic finally ended, with a new itinerary for the next day. Dinner was fairly plentiful, arranged by the village chief. Chi Zhao had little appetite and went back early to the accommodation to rest.

The weather forecast before coming had said it would rain this week, but it hadn’t. Walking back on the path, the long-delayed storm finally arrived, raging and roaring down. Chi Zhao held an umbrella, its surface almost lifted by the fierce wind. Walking on the muddy field path, a familiar figure suddenly appeared beside him.

“Doctor Xiao Chi! Wait a moment!” Auntie Zhao emerged from somewhere, jogging up to Chi Zhao, grabbing his hand, and calling out again, “Doctor Xiao Chi!”

Chi Zhao was slightly taken aback. “Auntie Zhao, why are you here? Didn’t you go back this morning?”

“No, we’re still here,” Auntie Zhao was already soaked by the rain, her hair dripping water, looking up at Chi Zhao with a smile. “I thought, since we made the effort to bring Yuanliang here, I couldn’t accept just going back like this.”

Chi Zhao quickly held the umbrella over her head. She asked him cautiously, “Are there any other ways to treat Yuanliang?”

Chi Zhao didn’t know of any other methods. Matters of policy weren’t something an intern could be familiar with. Chi Zhao could actually understand Auntie Zhao’s feelings. Seeing her so hopeful expression made his own heart feel uncomfortable. He hesitated, wanting to say something comforting. Auntie Zhao staggered back two steps and murmured, “This child wasn’t like this before…”

Perhaps frightened by the treatment cost, or perhaps these things had been pent up in her heart for too long, Auntie Zhao grabbed Chi Zhao’s arm and poured out everything. “This child was very well-behaved when he was little. He learned to cook and wash clothes for his father at a very young age. He did very well in school too. We all said he was sure to have a future. It was later that he became like this.

“Before, when his father drank and had no money, he got ideas about him. His father lied to him, saying he was sending him to study elsewhere, but instead found someone who wanted to buy him. The person who bought him was no good either, tying him up every day to make him work, even whipping him. A few of us relatives found out and rushed to save him. But after that, this child completely changed. He wouldn’t say a single word to us.”

No one willingly falls into depravity. Yuanliang had once struggled fiercely too. He studied hard, went to school, wanting to change his fate through knowledge. Just when he was full of hope, thinking he had escaped, he stepped into another hell. Those whips landed on his body and, even more, on his heart. His dreams were shattered.

Auntie Zhao started crying as she spoke. Chi Zhao’s heart felt even more choked up. He too had been abused and beaten by his parents. He understood all too well the bitterness and torment involved. Yuanliang’s psychological problems were already very severe. Betrayed by the past, he couldn’t trust anyone, even if others genuinely wanted to help him.

That evening, Chi Zhao went to Fu Nan’an’s room a little later than usual. He was still thinking about Auntie Zhao and that child, Yuanliang. The warm towel was placed over Fu Nan’an’s eyes as usual, but Chi Zhao remained silent for a long time.

“What’s wrong?” Fu Nan’an asked him, eyes still closed. “Are you feeling down?”

Chi Zhao’s heart was indeed heavy. He told Fu Nan’an about Auntie Zhao coming to find him. After finishing, he sadly lowered his gaze. “Listening to her made me cry. I don’t know what to do either.”

Birth, aging, sickness, and death are topics no one can escape. Doctors, even more so, often have to face these realities head-on. Fu Nan’an had seen many such cases. From the initial inability to accept it to the current state of having to face it, sometimes it’s just like this. One person’s strength is ultimately limited, a group’s strength is also limited. No one can claim to be able to save everyone. That would be sheer fantasy.

“Is there really no way to help them?” Chi Zhao asked.

It wasn’t an easy matter, Chi Zhao knew. But with Auntie Zhao’s words circling in his mind, he couldn’t just stand by indifferently.

Yuanliang’s experiences resonated with him too easily. He knew how awful that feeling of struggling fiercely and fighting against oneself could be. The lamplight before him was soft, the atmosphere of the conversation was calm, and the professor beside him was strong and reassuring. These were things Chi Zhao had struggled for many years to finally obtain. At this moment, he truly wanted to help that child still struggling in the mire.

“Professor Fu,” the storm outside the window continued to rage. Chi Zhao reached out and grasped Fu Nan’an’s wrist. “Let’s help him, alright?”

His palm was scorching hot, his fingertips trembling slightly from the force of his grip. His urgent voice fell on Fu Nan’an’s ears, causing Fu Nan’an’s heart to tremble along with it.