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Chapter 30 – It is different (Revised)
by Abo DammenTranslator: Abo Dammen
This was just Chi Zhao’s nature, like a straightforward and loyal puppy. You could give him the cold shoulder, you could ignore him. He would feel wronged, he would feel sad, but afterwards, he would still come back to nudge you with a wet nose and wag his tail to make you smile.
Such a puppy is impossible to refuse. At first, Fu Nan’an was still reluctant to let Chi Zhao seek him out. Although he had promised not to give him the cold shoulder, he still didn’t want him to waste too much time on him. But once you soften your heart once on certain matters, there’s no going back, you can’t rein it in. Every time Chi Zhao cautiously asked him, “Is it okay?” or “Is it alright?”, hearing Chi Zhao’s so-sincere pleas, Fu Nan’an could no longer refuse him.
Just like this matter of recruiting undergraduates for the research project.
Fu Nan’an did supervise postgraduate students in psychology, but his own background was in clinical medicine, and he specialized in basic experimental research. Fu Nan’an’s newly prepared project required animal experiments, and he wanted to recruit a few clinical students to help. Chi Zhao signed up without a second thought.
[Professor Fu, do you think I’d be suitable?]
After receiving the message, Fu Nan’an didn’t reply immediately. He had been busy all day with too many patients. After getting off work in the evening, when Fu Nan’an checked his WeChat messages, Chi Zhao had already sent several more.
[Professor Fu, are you there?]
[Professor, please consider me, give me a chance to try.]
[I’ve worked with other professors before, I have experience, and I absolutely won’t bother you.]
[I promise I don’t have any other intentions, really.]
How does Chi Zhao always manage to strike a chord? That slightly plaintive tone makes it impossible to bear refusing him. Actually, at their stage, not many students are still willing to follow basic experimental projects. Everyone is planning for their future as graduation approaches. Fu Nan’an was in the Psychology Department, not Clinical Medicine, so only three or four people signed up in total. Yet Chi Zhao treated this opportunity like a treasure.
Fu Nan’an typed: [How are the preparations for studying abroad coming along?]
Chi Zhao replied instantly: [Professor, don’t worry, I will absolutely manage my time well.]
Afraid Fu Nan’an might still refuse, he hurriedly added: [And participating in experiments can be included on my resume, it will also help with my school applications!]
There was indeed some benefit to following experiments. When results were published, the names of everyone in the team could be included. Some foreign supervisors value this so having experimental experience is indeed a plus.
Having said that, Fu Nan’an had little reason to refuse anymore. Moreover, he was already somewhat preferential towards Chi Zhao. Working with familiar people is always more comfortable. Chi Zhao was a very steady and reliable person. Back when he was in the Psychology Department, he often helped Fu Nan’an with typing.
Fu Nan’an’s eyes couldn’t see, so writing documents was always somewhat inconvenient. Although he had speech recognition software, it still produced many wrong characters. When Chi Zhao was previously in the Psychology Department, he often helped Fu Nan’an check documents converted from speech. He was very meticulous, so documents checked by him rarely had errors.
Before Fu Nan’an could reply, another message came from Chi Zhao. Seeing that text wasn’t working, he directly sent a voice message.
“Professor, please just give me a chance. I really, really want to join.”
He was just too good at grasping Fu Nan’an’s mindset. The cautious tone, with its slight trailing notes and a hint of a nasal quality, hooked and tugged at him. Fu Nan’an’s heart softened completely.
It was like a small animal looking at you with damp eyes, acting coquettishly and plaintively by your ear. Fu Nan’an played the voice message two more times. The soft, gentle voice echoed in the room. Fu Nan’an pressed and held the voice message button and said, “You can come if you want to.”
Not many students had signed up, and even fewer were genuinely sincere about staying. It was around April, the time when interns were preparing for postgraduate entrance exam retest. Fu Nan’an finally confirmed three candidates: besides Chi Zhao, there was one male and one female student. The male student was from Psychology, and the female student, like Chi Zhao, was from Clinical Medicine.
“Thank you all for coming,” Fu Nan’an held a welcome meeting for them on their official entry into the project group. He said to them with a smile, “I’ll be relying on your help from now on.”
“Professor, please don’t say that,” the male student from Psychology immediately responded, “Please, you mustn’t be so polite with us.”
“Yeah, Professor, no need to be polite with us,” Chi Zhao and the female student chimed in together. Fu Nan’an nodded and said, “Then I’ll be troubling you.”
Since they had joined the project group, Fu Nan’an wouldn’t stand on ceremony with them either. They were here to work and learn. Professor Fu didn’t deal in empty
formalities. This project involved a lot of animal experiments. Fu Nan’an would have them clean cages, wash test tubes, and also teach them to analyze data and design experiments. These days were very fulfilling. Unlike some professors who only assigned manual labor to undergraduates, the three of them learned a lot about experimental thinking and knowledge here.
This was a newly started project, still in its earliest stages, preparing to apply for funding. It was a busy time. Chi Zhao was fulfilled and happy, but he also vaguely sensed a crisis very quickly. The other clinical female student who came with him seemed to have a bit of a thing for Fu Nan’an.
The girl’s name was Jiang Yingxue. She had a ponytail, big eyes, and was not only pretty but also had a great personality. She was smooth-tongued. On her very first day, she managed to compliment all the senior brothers and sisters without repeating herself, making each one beam with joy.
“Our little junior sister Yingxue is just too adorable,” one senior sister, blushing a little from the praise, said, “You’re just too good at giving compliments, I’m almost embarrassed.”
Another senior brother directly patted his chest and said, “Just say the word, little junior sister. If you need anything from us in the future, just ask. Just for your compliment skills, your Shixiong will definitely help you!”
“Everything I said was sincere,” Jiang Yingxue hurriedly said, her tone very humble. “I’m new here and don’t understand much yet. I’ll be troubling you, senior brothers and sisters, to look after me more in the future.”
Excellent people are always humble. While saying she didn’t understand, Jiang Yingxue actually had strong practical skills. Chi Zhao had previously followed other research groups and had learned many procedures. Jiang Yingxue hadn’t had much contact with this before, but when the two worked together on shifts, she could quickly grasp the essentials.
“You’re just too good,” Chi Zhao exclaimed sincerely. “Something that took me several days to learn, you figured out how to do in just a few hours.”
“It’s because you taught me well,” Jiang Yingxue remained very humble. “I only learned because I was following you.”
No one could dislike someone like her. Everyone quickly got along well with Jiang Yingxue. Chi Zhao also felt she was an outstanding and dazzling person. Working with such a person was pleasant. Until one day, when only the two of them were in the lab, Jiang Yingxue cautiously pulled Chi Zhao aside. “Chi-ge, I wanted to ask you something.”
Chi Zhao said, “Go ahead.”
Jiang Yingxue first glanced around the room, then asked Chi Zhao with a smile, “Chi-ge, does our Professor Fu have a girlfriend?”
Hearing this, Chi Zhao was momentarily stunned. A blush tinged Jiang Yingxue’s cheeks, and her eyes were full of expectation. So Chi Zhao understood everything. “You… like Professor Fu?”
“I came here specifically for him,” Jiang Yingxue’s smile was confident and bright. “I liked him from the first moment I saw him.”
She continued pressing Chi Zhao. “Professor Fu doesn’t have a partner, right? I asked several people, and they all said no. You have a good relationship with the professor. You must know for sure.”
Everyone in the project group knew Chi Zhao had a good relationship with Fu Nan’an. Fu Nan’an often asked for Chi Zhao when he needed something. Their relationship was indeed good, but there was ultimately a barrier between them—they weren’t a couple. Chi Zhao’s lips parted and closed, and he could only say, “Mhm, he doesn’t have a partner.”
“Then I’m relieved.” Jiang Yingxue smiled brilliantly, looking certain of success.
When he saw the smile on her face, a strange feeling suddenly flashed through Chi Zhao’s heart. The next afternoon, when Fu Nan’an came to the lab to check on the project, Jiang Yingxue directly brought a huge bouquet of flowers. 99 vibrant red roses were presented before Fu Nan’an. “Professor Fu, I like you. Can I pursue you?”
This was truly too bold. The lab fell silent for two seconds, then erupted in cheers and applause.
“Wow! Junior Sister Yingxue is so daring!”
“Courageous, so courageous.”
“Professor, please consider our little shimei.”
The teasing voices rose one after another. Fu Nan’an’s voice betrayed no emotion. “Come out with me for a moment.”
Jiang Yingxue went out holding the flowers. The discussion in the lab remained intense.
“Do you think Professor Fu will agree?” a senior brother asked Chi Zhao.
Chi Zhao shook his head, answering and comforting himself at the same time. “Probably not. I haven’t seen Professor Fu agree to anyone’s confession before.”
“I’m not so sure,” the senior brother clicked his tongue twice, looking like he was enjoying the drama. “The professor has praised Jiang Yingxue several times, right? He said she’s capable. They could be considered a perfect match, a talented guy and a beauty.”
Another senior sister chimed in, her face full of excitement. “Right, and Jiang Yingxue’s uncle is the vice president of our hospital. Her real uncle. If this really works out, wouldn’t it be ‘cementing ties with a marriage’?”
An internship wasn’t like high school. The relationship between supervising teachers and students isn’t so insurmountable, and the age difference isn’t that big either. Occasionally, students pursue teachers, or teachers pursue students. Whether it works out or not, it’s interesting gossip worth discussing over tea. The other senior brothersand sisters in the lab exchanged glances and teased each other. Chi Zhao, meanwhile, silently went to the side and started washing test tubes.
He couldn’t describe his current mood.
Early spring. Evening. Water flowed slowly from the tap. Outside the window, a light rain had begun to fall unnoticed, pattering softly on the ground, quickly dampening the dry pavement.
Fu Nan’an was still talking with Jiang Yingxue. Faint voices could be heard from time to time, but it was impossible to make out what they were saying.
What were they talking about?
Chi Zhao didn’t dare to think about it. His heart felt as if it had been soaked in lemon water, sour, astringent, slowly sinking.
Yes, so many people liked Professor Fu. Passionate, dazzling people. They were all so outstanding. He was just the most ordinary one among them. At this moment, a genuine feeling of sourness welled up from the depths of Chi Zhao’s heart.
Several dozen test tubes were soon washed. Chi Zhao placed them upside down on the test tube rack. His Shixiong told him he could leave, but he didn’t want to go yet. So he just sat to the side, gazing out the window.
The spring rain fell silently, quietly wetting the road. Streetlights flickered along the street, and pedestrians hurried along. Chi Zhao rested his head listlessly on his hand, his thoughts drifting uncontrollably again. What were Fu Nan’an and Jiang Yingxue talking about? Would they discuss the same topics he and the professor had? Would Professor Fu share his thoughts with Jiang Yingxue like he did when talking with him? Or even… would he tell Jiang Yingxue, “I’ve had thoughts about you”?
Reason told him Fu Nan’an wasn’t that kind of person, but when thoughts run wild, you simply can’t control what comes to mind. Chi Zhao frowned somewhat irritably, until, “Chi Zhao?”
When Fu Nan’an’s voice sounded by his ear, Chi Zhao was momentarily dazed.
“What are you thinking about?” Fu Nan’an took a couple of steps closer, his voice suddenly clear. “Unhappy? Why didn’t you respond when I called you several times?”
“I… I…” Chi Zhao stammered a couple of times. Fu Nan’an asked him again, “Are you free now? Can you come help me check for typos?”
Chi Zhao quickly snapped out of it. “Oh, sure. I’ve finished washing the tubes. I’ll go with you.”
Life for a blind person is much more arduous than one might imagine, especially for a professor who needs to conduct research. Many of the materials Fu Nan’an needed had to be printed out, something he couldn’t accomplish on his own.
Being blind makes even the simplest act of writing a difficult task. One or two lines are manageable, but with more, characters can overlap or lines can get mixed up. Handwriting doesn’t work well, and typing is even more inconvenient. Although speech recognition software exists now, its error rate for some professional terminology is still very high.
These past few days were particularly busy. Fu Nan’an was preparing to apply for project funding. Chi Zhao followed him to the small office next door to help check the project proposal for typos.
The laboratory building was quiet at night. Chi Zhao sat in front of the computer, reading carefully, while Fu Nan’an sat beside him. Occasionally, when some experimental steps were unclear, a senior brother or sister would come find Fu Nan’an to take a look. Most of the time, Fu Nan’an just sat quietly beside Chi Zhao, reading literature through his Bluetooth earphones.
After checking another page of the document, Chi Zhao finally couldn’t hold back anymore. “…Professor Fu.”
“Hmm?” Fu Nan’an removed one earpiece. The content being read aloud on his phone automatically stopped playing. “What is it?”
His expression was calm and gentle. Chi Zhao hesitated for a moment, then tried to ask casually, “You… Why didn’t I see Jiang Yingxue? Didn’t she come back with you?”
“Jiang Yingxue?” Fu Nan’an seemed unwilling to mention the name, his brow furrowing slightly. “I told her to go back.”
Chi Zhao didn’t react immediately. “Go back? Did she ask for leave?”
“No,” Fu Nan’an said. “She won’t be coming anymore.”
Chi Zhao was somewhat surprised. He had considered that Fu Nan’an might reject Jiang Yingxue, but he hadn’t expected him to refuse so decisively. Regardless of her family background, Jiang Yingxue was indeed a very capable person. Fu Nan’an had praised her more than once before. “Why?”
“What else could it be?” Seeing him press further, Fu Nan’an’s expression held a hint of helplessness. “You all saw what happened earlier. Her mind isn’t on the experiment.”
These last couple of days were the busiest time for the project team. Fu Nan’an was preparing the funding application and was practically living in the lab. Everyone was working overload hours. Yet Jiang Yingxue chose this time to confess publicly. Fu Nan’an shook his head, his tone cold, “I want people who can focus on their work. This project isn’t suitable for her.”
Professor Fu’s tone was too cold. Chi Zhao’s heart plummeted. Her mind isn’t on the experiment. This statement seemed somewhat pointed. Chi Zhao also harbored ulterior motives towards the professor.
The air suddenly grew quiet. Chi Zhao’s lips moved slightly, and he asked very softly, “Then… what about me?”
Although he had successfully joined the project team, Chi Zhao had never been sure of Fu Nan’an’s attitude. He always felt that perhaps he was causing Professor Fu a lot of trouble. Because he kept pestering him persistently, Fu Nan’an was forced to compromise and acquiesce again and again. Chi Zhao’s voice unconsciously dropped. “Do I… bother you a lot?”
Anxious, uneasy, Chi Zhao’s emotions suddenly peaked. He had been clinging to Fu Nan’an for too long; it had always been his one-sided effort. He was terrified that Professor Fu would grow to dislike him. Chi Zhao cautiously observed Fu Nan’an’s expression. But when the topic shifted to him, Fu Nan’an frowned slightly, then gave a soft laugh.
“What are you thinking?” he said.
Chi Zhao was still not entirely reassured and asked instinctively, “Is it the case?”
“Why would you say that? What are you afraid of?” Fu Nan’an lifted his eyes helplessly, using those light gray pupils to sense him. “Do you want to leave?”
“I don’t!”
Chi Zhao hurriedly shook his head, his tone exceptionally sincere. Fu Nan’an shook his head with a light laugh and said, “Then that’s fine.
“Those who can stay here are the ones I want to stay,” Fu Nan’an tapped the desktop with his knuckle. “Focus. The sooner we finish, the sooner you can go back.”
Those who can stay here are the ones I want to stay. Hearing this, Chi Zhao smiled. Chi Zhao nodded and said okay, his gaze returning to the computer screen, but the smile at the corners of his mouth was impossible to hide.
That’s right. He knew Professor Fu’s temperament. Outwardly gentle, he could also be absolutely direct and cold when rejecting people. Many had confessed to him, many had said they wanted to pursue him, yet there had never been anyone else by his side. Chi Zhao was the one closest to him.
Chi Zhao glanced sideways at Fu Nan’an. The slight upturn of Professor Fu’s lips still held a trace of a smile, one that was unique to when he was with him. And so, Chi Zhao’s world suddenly brightened. His heart felt as if wrapped in a large, soft, fluffy cloud, flying higher and higher. Chi Zhao felt like his whole being was about to float away.
—Professor Fu wanted him to stay!
Author’s Feed:
Bittersweet~
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