Chapter 22: Professor Xu’s mini lesson about ABO

Translator: Abo Dammen

☆

Case One: The Phantom Sniper

---

He Yixun dropped Xu Pei off at the entrance of his residential complex, told him the unit number and door lock code, and then went straight back to the police station. The earlier ‘recharge’ hadn’t lasted long. After parting ways with He Yixun, Xu Pei’s fever symptoms came back. It seemed the willpower of steel alone couldn’t defeat illness.

Fortunately, there were fever reducers in He Yixun’s medicine cabinet, and there was still some food in the fridge to replenish his energy. Xu Pei took the medicine, ate a little something, did a simple wash-up, and lay down on the sofa.

But, even if Xu Pei turned off his blocker, it was hard to smell He Yixun’s scent from the sofa. 

This person probably didn’t spend much time at home normally, and when he did return, it was mostly just to sleep. So, in this empty house, the place with the strongest concentration of He Yixun’s scent was…

In the afternoon, after finishing work on Ma Jing’s case, He Yixun returned home.

The moment he entered, he thought his home had been illegally invaded.

The medicine cabinet was lying open on the coffee table, a box of fever reducers tossed carelessly beside it. The box had been opened; the blister pack of pills was half in, half out, showing the intruder had pulled it out, pushed out a pill, and couldn’t be bothered to put the pack back properly. 

On the sofa next to the coffee table, the blanket He Yixun had neatly folded before leaving was now messily piled up. A sofa cushion had fallen onto the carpet. It was reasonable to infer the intruder had rested on the sofa and, finding that the cushion was in the way, had kicked it off.

Looking at the kitchen, an empty water glass sat on the dining table, with clear lip marks on the rim. Next to it was a torn-open sandwich wrapper, indicating the intruder had also filled his stomach in He Yixun’s home.

So, where was the intruder now?

A faint, bad premonition arose in his heart. He Yixun shifted his gaze to the other side and despairingly discovered a small mound under the covers of his bed. 

—His bed had been invaded too.

The order of his home had been thoroughly disrupted. He Yixun took a deep breath, suppressing the urge to freak out. He walked relatively calmly to the wardrobe and took off his wrinkled suit jacket. “Professor Xu.”

No response.

Looking back, the intruder was sleeping soundly, wrapped tightly in the blanket, likely due to the fever reducers taking effect. 

First. He Yixun loosened his tie, unbuttoning his shirt while mentally calculating. Xu Pei was no longer a suspect. There was no reason for him to stay in his home.

Second. He took off the shirt and threw it into the laundry basket. He really disliked having outsiders invade his home.

But. He unbuckled his belt, pulled down the zipper, and let his trousers slide down. Xu Pei had no legal identity, he couldn’t check into a hotel or get a job to support himself.

Furthermore. He pulled on a T-shirt and sweatpants, tightening the drawstring waist. If he wanted to register a new identity for Xu Pei, he’d have to make the administrative department accept that he was a dimension traveler. That was almost impossible. 

Therefore. He Yixun let out a breath and turned to look at Xu Pei, who was occupying his bed. It seemed he could only accept the dimension traveler’s invasion.

It wasn’t a sense of responsibility driving him; it was that he couldn’t let someone who existed outside the rules escape his supervision. If the world’s operating rules were lines of code, then Xu Pei, from another world, was a BUG that could easily render all the code in this world invalid.

Faced with such an existence, He Yixun could only feel at ease by constantly keeping track of his movements.

—Even if this meant the order of his own home would be challenged. 

Perhaps sensing his gaze, the even more at ease intruder woke up.

He stretched two arms out from under the blanket—only then did He Yixun notice the intruder was wearing his clothes again—and stretched comfortably. But upon seeing He Yixun standing by the bed, he paused mid-stretch and retracted his arms. “You’re back, Officer He.”

His tone was so natural, completely lacking any awareness of someone who just caused disorder.

“Get up,” He Yixun said expressionlessly. “I need to change the sheets.” 

Xu Pei, of course, didn’t know about the mental struggle He Yixun had just undergone. But he knew his unauthorized bed-hopping was improper and explained, “My condition worsened. The sofa was uncomfortable.”

“Are you feeling better now?” He Yixun asked.

“Much better.”

“Get up.” 

“……”

Xu Pei couldn’t really explain why He Yixun’s scent alleviated his discomfort. Perhaps because He Yixun had helped him through his recent heat, his body had developed some sort of dependency on He Yixun’s scent.

“You don’t need to change the sheets right now,” Xu Pei shrugged. “My body hasn’t recovered yet. As long as you’re not home, I’ll sneak into your bed anyway, and you can’t stop me.”

He Yixun: “…..” 

“You might as well let me sleep here for a couple more days. That way, I’ll recover faster. Once I’m fully recovered, I promise I won’t get in your bed ever again.”

The intruder knew exactly how to negotiate with He Yixun.

Compared to setting designated bedtimes, secretly sleeping in the bed behind his back was even more unacceptable. So, He Yixun chose to concede. “Tidy the bed properly.”

He Yixun went to the living room to tidy up the coffee table. Xu Pei felt he couldn’t just stand and watch, so after smoothing out the blanket on the bed, he went to the living room and folded the thrown blanket.

Actually, it wasn’t that he lacked awareness of being a guest. He just hadn’t paid much attention earlier because he wasn’t feeling well. Thinking that staying with He Yixun like this indefinitely wasn’t a solution, Xu Pei asked, “Are there any experts studying spacetime travel here? I could go consult them.”

He Yixun put the medicine cabinet back into the storage cupboard. “I’ll look into it.” 

Xu Pei placed the folded blanket on the sofa armrest and followed behind He Yixun. “But we should also prepare for the other possibility. What if I can’t go back?”

The stockpiled toilet paper rolls in the storage cupboard were slightly askew, probably bumped when Xu Pei took out the medicine cabinet. He Yixun adjusted the position of the toilet paper rolls. “Let’s first consider how to get you back.”

“Right,” Xu Pei agreed. “We can deal with what comes later, later.”

Just as he was about to turn around after closing the storage cupboard door, He Yixun suddenly stopped, opened the nearby display cabinet door, and adjusted the position of the compass that Xu Pei hadn’t touched. 

Even though Xu Pei couldn’t see any difference before and after the adjustment.

“Why do you like collecting compasses?” Xu Pei asked. He remembered He Yixun saying traditional compasses were more reliable, but that didn’t seem like a reason for collecting them.

He Yixun turned and walked towards the living room. “Compasses give me a sense of security.”

What a peculiar reason. 

Xu Pei asked, “Why?”

He Yixun stopped walking, looked at the blanket draped over the sofa armrest, was silent for a moment, and said, “Fold it again.”

But it’s already folded.

Professor Xu pursed his lips slightly. He really needs to get back soon. Living with someone with OCD is terrifying. 

He Yixun went to the kitchen to wash the cup Xu Pei had used. Actually, the lip marks would wipe right off; it didn’t need much washing. But Xu Pei’s question just now had stirred up some memories for He Yixun, causing him to wash the cup somewhat absentmindedly.

Xu Pei was the only person who knew He Yixun liked collecting compasses, because besides him, no one else had ever been to He Yixun’s home. This hobby was related to He Yixun’s experience of being kidnapped years ago, because he had relied on a compass to escape the deep mountains and forests.

To be precise, it was that child’s compass.

He still remembered it was a stormy night with thunder and rain. The kidnappers had beaten He Yixun black and blue. They let their guard down, allowing He Yixun to escape from the small wooden shack. He stumbled forward through the maze-like forest. The heavy rain blurred his vision, the cold wind cut his skin like knives, and the thunder roared like a beast overhead. No matter how he ran, he couldn’t escape the endless darkness. 

Fear gradually eroded He Yixun’s small body. Just as his despair reached its peak, he suddenly bumped into a little boy.

A very strange little boy.

He was dressed in a beautiful little suit, as if he had just come from a party.

Except he was also drenched like a drowned rat. 

“Where is this?” the little boy asked He Yixun.

“I don’t know,” He Yixun shook his head.

The little boy took a compass out of his suit pocket. “Mom said if you walk in one direction, you won’t get lost.”

So He Yixun followed the little boy, walking in one direction. 

Having company made the stormy night less terrifying.

The two held hands and kept walking forward, supporting each other when they encountered steep slopes. He didn’t know how long they walked before He Yixun saw a road with moving car headlights.

“We can get out!” He Yixun said excitedly to the little boy.

But the little boy was gone, as if he had vanished into thin air. For a long time after that, He Yixun thought he had encountered a forest spirit, who appeared just to lead him to safety. 

But as he gradually formed his understanding of the world, he knew spirits didn’t exist.

Perhaps they had said goodbye, and he had just forgotten.

Twenty years had passed. Everything from back then had become blurry. He Yixun could no longer remember the little boy’s face, but he always remembered that there was a small bee sticker on the back of the little boy’s compass.

“Officer?” Xu Pei waved his hand in front of He Yixun’s face. 

His vision refocused, landing on Xu Pei’s magnified face.

He Yixun had never denied that Xu Pei was good-looking. If they really couldn’t find a way back, perhaps he could act in movies here, playing a spirit or something.

Turning off the faucet, He Yixun asked, “What?”

“Please inspect,” Xu Pei said, stretching out both arms and pointing towards the sofa. “How is it folded this time?” 

The blanket was folded into a perfectly rectangular shape, with neat edges and corners, perfectly meeting He Yixun’s standards.

It seemed the intruder wasn’t beyond re-education.

The situation wasn’t too bad.

Putting the cup back on the rack, He Yixun asked, “What do you want to eat tonight?” 

Living under someone else’s roof always has its inconveniences. But Xu Pei searched his conscience. Someone was providing food and shelter, he didn’t even have to do housework, what more could he be dissatisfied with?

Moreover, He Yixun’s cooking was so good. Even if he had to fold the blanket every day, he’d be willing.

He even had an evil thought: if he really couldn’t go back, he must find a way to settle down in He Yixun’s home. Anyway, He Yixun wasn’t a real alpha. Strictly speaking, he wasn’t even the opposite sex, so there was nothing to avoid.

For now, this didn’t seem difficult. He just needed to argue his case forcefully. But since there were cultural differences between their worlds, it was better to communicate clearly in advance. 

“I might have to stay at your place for a while longer,” Xu Pei rubbed his full belly. “To avoid offending each other, I think it’s necessary to give you a primer on my world.”

He Yixun, with his back to Xu Pei, placed the bowls and chopsticks into the dishwasher. “Go on.”

“In my world, the basic gender divisions are Alpha, Omega, and Beta. You can simply understand them as male, female, and neutral.”

“Female?” He Yixun paused mid-action, turned his head to look at Xu Pei. “But you can’t get pregnant. Why female?” 

… Good question.

“Female omegas can get pregnant,” Professor Xu said, not wanting He Yixun to become curious about his own anatomy, so he started making things up. “People like me belong to the infertile category. Like I said, we have many genders over there. Ahem.”

“I see.” He Yixun nodded and closed the dishwasher door. “No wonder you can’t ejaculate.”

… His logic is really tight. 

“The gland is a very important organ for us. Everyone has one, but betas are born with a disabled gland, making it very difficult for them to conceive, so betas are the least numerous,” Xu Pei continued. “If someone like you went to our world, you’d be disabled among the disabled, not even a beta.”

“Is that so.” He Yixun leaned against the countertop, crossed his arms, and looked at Xu Pei. “I didn’t realize the prostate gland was so important for you all.”

Xu Pei: “…..”

“That’s not the prostate gland,” Xu Pei retorted. “The gland secretes pheromones which affect our daily lives. We usually obtain information by smelling pheromones, like friendliness, hostility, and many more.” 

“It’s not sniffing butts, is it?” He Yixun asked with a frown. “From what I know, puppies socialize by sniffing butts.”

… Could you stop answering your own questions?

“No,” said Xu Pei. “I told you, the gland secretes the pheromones. Even if you had to get close to smell it, you’d smell the neck. But doing that is very offensive, so don’t you dare learn it.”

“But you’re always smelling my neck,” He Yixun quipped. 

… That’s because he was in heat!

Ahem. Xu Pei ignored this comment and continued on his own. “Everyone’s pheromone scent is different and easy to distinguish. Some people have floral notes, some have woody notes. You can simply understand it as each of us carrying our own personal perfume.”

“So, what’s your scent?” He Yixun asked.

Well. 

That’s a bit rude.

“You can’t ask that,” said Xu Pei. “This is also a somewhat private question. It’s like me asking you your monthly salary. It’s not something that can’t be disclosed, but it feels somewhat offensive when others ask.”

“So,” He Yixun summarized unhurriedly, “me looking at your nape is offensive. Asking your scent is offensive. But you can bury your face in my crotch, constantly sniff me all over, use my bed without my permission, call me impotent, ‘disabled among the disabled’… none of these are offensive.”

Hearing these accusations, Xu Pei’s eyes widened. 

Had he really been that terrible?

He hadn’t even realized it until He Yixun pointed it out…

A wave of guilt welled up. Xu Pei seriously reflected and realized he had indeed been very hypocritical. And He Yixun, because of his status as an otherworlder, had been tolerating him all along.

“…Sorry,” Xu Pei said. “I didn’t realize I was making you so uncomfortable too. 

“I’ve decided to take back those words. Your actions were without malice, so they don’t count as offensive. Feel free to ask whatever you’re curious about. I’ll answer everything.”

“Good,” said He Yixun. “There are indeed some things I’m quite curious about.”

Xu Pei prepared himself to answer seriously. “Go ahead.”

“What does your penis look like?” 

Xu Pei: Fuck.