Ch41 – Husband, say something

Translator: Abo Dammen

“Of course I do,” Jing Liansheng said firmly. “Bai Qing must eat his fill before we go.” 

Hearing this, Bai Qing was taken aback.

Lin Zhao also didn’t understand. “Really? Eating is that important?”

In his view, Bai Qing was a corpse, Jing Liansheng a ghost, and Tao Yaozhi a demon. None of them needed to eat! Eating should be the least important thing for them, right?

Lin Zhao said, “Why must he eat?” 

Jing Liansheng said coldly, “Then you don’t need to eat.”

Lin Zhao already disliked ghosts. Seeing Jing Liansheng’s cool, arrogant demeanor, his anger flared instantly. He nearly lost his temper, but then thought better of it. This was, after all, the elder’s ghost servant. One must look at the owner before striking the dog. Swallowing his fury, he turned to Bai Qing for his opinion. “Martial Uncle, what do you think…?”

Bai Qing nodded, openly siding with his ghost husband. “He’s right. I absolutely must eat my fill.”

With that, Lin Zhao had nothing more to say and could only agree to go to a restaurant first. They chose a place with a good reputation. Bai Qing picked up the menu and ordered a tableful of hearty dishes. 

Staring at the food-laden table, Lin Zhao was so shocked his eyes nearly popped out. “Can you even finish all this?”

Bai Qing shoveled food into his mouth at lightning speed, replying through a mouthful of rice, words muffled and indistinct, “If we can’t finish, we’ll pack it up.”

Watching Bai Qing eat like a whirlwind, Lin Zhao couldn’t help wondering whether Bai Qing’s cause of death had been starvation. Then another thought occurred to him. If that were the case, Bai Qing’s insistence on eating his fill suddenly made perfect sense.

As a Celestial Master, Lin Zhao naturally knew that regrets from one’s lifetime could be infinitely magnified after death, even turning into obsessions that outsiders found hard to understand. 

So Lin Zhao said nothing more and quietly began enjoying the food in front of him.

Jing Liansheng sat there calmly. Human food was, after all, meaningless to him.

Tao Yaozhi didn’t need to eat either. Watching Bai Qing devour the meal, he was stunned for a brief moment, then immediately became exceedingly attentive, pouring tea and passing dishes with great consideration.

Seeing Tao Yaozhi’s solicitous behavior, Jing Liansheng felt an inexplicable tightness in his chest. 

After the meal, the server brought over a fruit platter. Besides the neatly cut fruit, there were also several round, untouched apples. Tao Yaozhi’s eyes lit up. He said excitedly to Bai Qing, “Bai-ge, watch me peel an apple for you!”

As he spoke, he conjured a fruit knife. His fingers moved deftly. In just a few swift motions, he carved out a vivid little rabbit apple.

Bai Qing looked impressed. “Peach bro, your hands are truly skillful.”

Tao Yaozhi laughed smugly. “I’m a flower demon. I didn’t originally have hands at all. I cultivated them specially, without knowing why. Now I understand. I grew these hands just to serve you!” 

The words were saccharine to the extreme. But Tao Yaozhi had been speaking this kind of devilishly sweet talk for two thousand years that he was a master of it. His tone was natural, unforced, dripping with honeyed warmth, enough to make anyone happy even while knowing it was all nonsense. Seeing Tao Yaozhi so attentive, Lin Zhao was genuinely surprised and looked at Bai Qing with undisguised admiration. “You’ve really subdued this demon thoroughly. He’s become your yao attendant that he even peels apples for you.”

As he spoke, Lin Zhao subconsciously glanced at Jing Liansheng, as if thinking: this ghost servant doesn’t seem very good at serving people.

Perhaps that look poked Jing Liansheng’s cursed competitive streak. He swept a cold glance over. “Hmph. Mere parlor tricks.”

Before the words had even fallen, Jing Liansheng picked up the fruit knife Tao Yaozhi had just set down. Holding an apple in one hand, it took only a moment for him to carve out—an elephant. 

Bai Qing’s eyes shone. “So awesome, my ghost!”

Jing Liansheng unconsciously straightened his back.

For some reason, Tao Yaozhi also felt his competitive spirit flare. In fighting, I can’t beat you. But when it comes to being likable, can I really lose?

What would become of a thousand-year charm demon’s dignity then? 

His gaze sharpened. The apple was too small so there wasn’t enough room to show off.

He went into the kitchen, came back with a Hami melon, and in full view of everyone, carved out—Ultraman.

Bai Qing and Lin Zhao showered him with praise.

Jing Liansheng’s eyes flared with a red glow, though it was unclear exactly what was burning. 

Moments later, Jing Liansheng brought over a watermelon. With a few swift strokes—shhk, shhk—he carved out The Great Sage Escaping the Eight Trigram Furnace from Havoc in Heaven.

Everyone present was stunned.

Even Lin Zhao couldn’t help standing up to applaud. “Bravo!”

Yet Lin Zhao’s admiration wasn’t for Jing Liansheng’s knife skills, but for Bai Qing’s ghost-taming techniques. 

At this point, Lin Zhao was completely convinced that Bai Qing had subdued these monsters. Otherwise, why would a great fierce ghost casually carve Sun Wukong bursting out of the Eight Trigram Furnace? Was it because he liked Sun Wukong?

Taming ghosts and demons was also an old tradition of their sect, evident from how his Shifu, Chu Ze, treated fierce ghosts.

Chu Ze’s beatings and ceiling-fan hangings of evil ghosts weren’t purely because Chu Ze was heartless.

To tame a fierce ghost, one must first establish dominance, a decisive blow to make it understand who’s boss. Otherwise, how would such a creature obediently listen? And beyond intimidation, one must also offer rewards at the right moment: stick and carrot, authority and grace combined. Moreover, training fierce ghosts into attendants for daily service was a unique sub-school within the sect. 

Lin Zhao now firmly believed that Bai Qing belonged to this “attendant school.”

Watching a thousand-year great fierce ghost obediently carve fruit, the admiration in Lin Zhao’s heart surged without end.

He looked at Bai Qing with utter reverence. “Martial Uncle, your ghost-taming skills surpass even Third Martial Grandfather’s!”

Bai Qing said modestly, “Not at all, not at all,” while thinking to himself: How could I possibly have tamed Jing Liansheng… 

But speaking of Chu Ze reminded Bai Qing of something.

Before boarding the plane, he had messaged Chu Ze to say he was going with Lin Zhao to the Xuanmen Sect.

After getting off the plane, he’d been so focused on finding food that he’d forgotten his phone in his pocket that was still powered off. Startled, Bai Qing quickly took out his phone and pressed the power button.

A moment later, it chimed, popping up a message notification from Chu Ze. 

Bai Qing focused his gaze.

The message contained only two words: “Don’t go.”

Don’t go…

Bai Qing’s heart gave a sharp thud. He pondered for a moment, then turned to Lin Zhao and said, “I’ll go use the restroom first.” 

Lin Zhao was baffled. “Living corpses also need to use the restroom?”

Bai Qing smacked his own forehead, realizing that he was too used to using the “restroom excuse” with ordinary people, and that pulling it out in front of a Celestial Master was indeed inappropriate.

But changing his excuse now would only make things more suspicious.

So Bai Qing stubbornly insisted, “I have my own Dao! You haven’t reached my level yet, so you wouldn’t understand.” 

Lin Zhao looked at him with pure admiration. “This nephew will definitely study diligently and strive to reach the great realm of understanding living-corpse bodily functions!”

Bai Qing: “…Good child. With such eagerness to learn and humility, you’ll definitely amount to something in the future.”

Bai Qing softly said, “Excuse me,” then turned and strode quickly toward the stairwell.

He shut the emergency door, pulled his phone from his pocket, his fingers flying across the screen, and called Chu Ze. 

On the other end, Chu Ze’s voice sounded almost immediately. “You brat, have you already gone?”

“Mm,” Bai Qing responded. “Just got off the plane. We haven’t gone up the mountain yet.”

“Then there’s still time,” Chu Ze said, clearly relieved. “You can come back now. That kid Lin Zhao won’t make things hard for you.”

Hearing this, Bai Qing replied, “Listen to yourself. Since Lin Zhao’s character is trustworthy, why won’t you let me go?” 

Chu Ze answered, “The waters over there are too deep. I don’t even dare go. You, a little living corpse, aren’t you afraid of drowning?”

Bai Qing laughed easily. “Living corpses don’t drown.”

Chu Ze let out a deep sigh. “You, ah!”

Bai Qing’s tone turned serious. “Shifu, judging from Lin Zhao’s tone, this matter seems pretty significant. After all, it’s something involving your sect. Have you really decided to just leave it alone?” 

It wasn’t that Bai Qing insisted on dragging someone in for backup, he simply felt that although Chu Ze always seemed careless and heartless, deep down he wasn’t truly emotionless. Whenever the sect was mentioned, Chu Ze always carried traces of attachment he couldn’t quite hide. Bai Qing didn’t believe Chu Ze felt absolutely nothing for his sect.

On the phone, Chu Ze said calmly, “If you want to go, I won’t stop you.”

Chu Ze’s attitude this time was the same as with the Jing residence. I’ll show some concern, but if something really happens, don’t expect me to step in.

Without waiting for Bai Qing’s response, Chu Ze hung up. 

Bai Qing knew the waters were indeed deep, but he also had a premonition that this muddy water was something he had to wade into.

He put his phone away and returned to the private room. The plates on the table had already been cleared, except for the Sun Wukong Escaping the Eight Trigram Furnace in the Havoc in Heaven watermelon and the Ultraman Hami melon.

The moment Tao Yaozhi saw Bai Qing come back, he immediately stood up and greeted him with a smile. “Bai-ge, after eating, have a piece of Hami melon to quench your thirst.”

Bai Qing found it hard to refuse such enthusiasm. He took the melon, bit into it, and praised, “So sweet!” 

At that moment, a chill ran down Bai Qing’s spine. He turned his head. Jing Liansheng and the bowl of iced watermelon in front of him were both steadily radiating cold air.

Lin Zhao sighed in admiration. “As expected. If you keep a fierce ghost by your side, you don’t even need air conditioning. Martial Uncle really understands environmental protection.”

Bai Qing thought: …How could I possibly use my dead ghost husband as an AC?! I’m not that heartless Shifu of mine!

Still, Bai Qing truly couldn’t figure out why Jing Liansheng had suddenly started refrigerating the room. 

Based on ten years of experience with Chu Ze, fierce ghosts only gave off cold air when they were being violently beaten and hung up, right?

Bai Qing scratched his head. Could it be someone just beat Jing Liansheng up and hung him?

Impossible!

Tao Yaozhi was weak as hell, and Lin Zhao definitely hadn’t done it either. 

If Lin Zhao had that kind of ability, he wouldn’t need to ask me to go up the mountain in the first place.

Seeing his beloved dead ghost emitting cold air, Bai Qing naturally wouldn’t sit by and ignore it. He also suspected Jing Liansheng might still be injured, with yin energy leaking out, making the cold around him overwhelming. So while gnawing on the Hami melon, Bai Qing kept his eyes fixed on Jing Liansheng, observing him closely.

Jing Liansheng grew uncomfortable under the stare and asked coldly, “What’s wrong?”

Bai Qing set down the half-eaten melon, wiped his hands with a wet tissue, then reached out and touched Jing Liansheng’s hand. 

Jing Liansheng was caught off guard by the touch. He should have avoided it, but found that he somehow couldn’t. His fingers stiffened as they were grasped.

Bai Qing exclaimed softly, “Liansheng, why are your hands so cold?”

Before Jing Liansheng could answer, Lin Zhao jumped in first. “Isn’t there a possibility… that it’s because he’s a ghost?”

Tao Yaozhi also leaned over, saying, “Bai-ge, do you want to touch my hand too, just to compare who’s colder?” 

Jing Liansheng, looking at Tao Yaozhi’s affected, overly deliberate manner, felt an irritation surge in his chest. He immediately averted his gaze, then looked back at Bai Qing, waiting to see how Bai Qing would respond.

That posture was practically saying that If Bai Qing’s response didn’t please him, he could flip the table the very next second.